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Val Kilmer Quotes

Total quotes: 33
“It's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Good Woman, antichrist
“Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: looking rough
“Wyatt Earp: Well, I'll be damned.

Doc Holliday: You may indeed, if you get lucky.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: damned, Lucky
“Mitch: What are you doing?

Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, ‘... I drank what?’”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Socrates, self-realization, hemlock, Suicide
“Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, how'd you do?

Chris Knight: How'd I do? I passed! But I failed! Yeah!

Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, then I'm happy and sad for you.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Passed, failed, Happy, Sad
“Professor Hathaway: When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened?

Chris Knight: I got a haircut?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: pacific tech, einstein
“Dr. Dodd: Why is that toy on your head?

Chris Knight: Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Mental Illness
“[to Johnny Ringo, after shooting him in a duel] You're no daisy! You're no daisy at all. Poor soul, you were just too high-strung.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: daisy, High-strung
“Sir, let me take this moment to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: compliments, fashion sense, slippers
“Look at it this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives...to have sex.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: environment, Sex
“Mitch: But if I stay, what should I do?

Chris Knight: You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Getting Even, moral imperative
“Do you mind if I name my first child after you? ‘Dipshit Knight’ has a nice ring to it.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Dipshit
“Jordan: Are you going to take me home to meet your parents?

Mitch: No.

Jordan: Why? Are you ashamed of me?

Mitch: No, them.

Jordan: Oh.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: rue the day, campus, archaisms
“Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab.

Chris Knight: Fine. I'll gain weight.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Misunderstanding, Double Entendre
“Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Nobody move!

Doc Holliday: Nonsense. By all means, move.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Defiance
“Wyatt Earp: How are you?

Doc Holliday: I'm dying, how are you?”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Dying
“When your life is defined by a single action, it changes the concept of time.”
— John Smith, Felon
Tagged: Prison Movies, Time
“Chris Knight: Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?

David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.

Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Lust, Daughter
“This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: ice, Sexual Frustration
“Ike Clanton: What is that now? Twelve hands in a row? Holliday, son of a bitch, nobody's that lucky.

Doc Holliday: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: poker, Gambling, Cheating, spelling contest
“Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Doc, you oughta be in bed, what the hell you doin this for anyway?

Doc Holliday: Wyatt Earp is my friend.

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Hell, I got lots of friends.

Doc Holliday: I don't.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Friends, Friendless
“Make no mistake, it's not revenge he's after. It's a reckonin'.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Revenge, Reckoning, justic
“Johnny Ringo: My fight's not with you, Holliday.

Doc Holliday: I beg to differ, sir. We started a game we never got to finish. 'Play for Blood,' remember?

Johnny Ringo: Oh that. I was just foolin' about.

Doc Holliday: I wasn't.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Fight, play for blood, Bluffing
“Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: defile
“I'm your huckleberry.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Tombstone
“Billy Clanton: Why, it's the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seeing double. [draws a knife]

Doc Holliday: [takes out a second gun] I have two guns, one for each of ya.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: Drunk, seeing double, Guns
“Kent: You're all a bunch of degenerates.

Chris Knight: We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O?

Kent: You did not.

Chris Knight: This is true.

Kent: Look, it was hot and I was hungry, okay?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Jell-O, degenerates, Naked
“Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into the Madame Curie lookalike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Moles, trolls, Madame Curie, hamsters
“Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...

Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

Mitch: No...

Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Dream, sun god, Pyramid, naked women
“[Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it]

Chris Knight: Here Mitch, taste this. Go on, you won't hurt my feelings, just try it. What do you think, too sweet?

Mitch: What is it?

Chris Knight: I don't know, I found it in one of the labs.

[Mitch starts to induce vomiting]

Chris Knight: Relax, it's just yogurt.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: yogurt, sweet
“Wyatt Earp: What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?

Doc Holliday: A man like Ringo has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.

Wyatt Earp: What does he need?

Doc Holliday: Revenge.

Wyatt Earp: For what?

Doc Holliday: Bein' born.”
— Doc Holliday, Tombstone
Tagged: hole inside, Killing, Revenge
“[Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside]

Chris Knight: Hey, Kent...that's your car.

Mitch: Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.

Kent: You've gone too far this time, Knight.

Chris Knight: [whiny, scared voice] I had help!

[points to Mitch]

Kent: You, huh? Well you won't get away with this. Doctor Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You'll rue the day!

Chris Knight: ‘Rue the day?’ Who talks like that?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: rue the day, campus, archaisms
“[Chris Knight is trying to hit on Susan, a beautiful woman he finds in Professor Hathaway's house]

Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you—or, more to the point, to you—just let me know.

Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight: Not right now.

Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.

[She walks out]”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: penis, Dating, Standards
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