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Paul Lieberstein Quotes

Total quotes: 26
“Your heart is telling you?! Who's the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work!”
— Hank Hill, King of the Hill, Season 1: Luanne's Saga
Tagged: Head, heart
“An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to... An office is a place where dreams come true.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: Office, Dying, Life life, fullest, dreams come true
“Well, it's love at first sight. Actually, it was... No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: Goodbye, Toby
Tagged: Love, first sight, voice, Ears
“Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 4: Money
Tagged: mind games, don't play mind games, what are you thinking
“It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 4: Survivor Man
Tagged: hurt, accidentally, Stranger, purpose
“I have six roommates, which are better than friends because they have to give you one month's notice before they leave.”
— Toby Flenderson, The Office, Season 9: Finale
Tagged: Roomates, Roommates vs. Friends
“Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn't moving, you might think she was dead.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: The Client
Tagged: cold, train, dead, Stiff, expressionless
“Friends joke with one another. 'Hey, you're poor.' 'Hey, your momma's dead.' That's what friends do.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: The Deposition
Tagged: Friendship, Best Friends, Friends
“Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: Stress, stress relief
“Robert California: That is very cold.

Erin Hannon: Yea, that is old. I asked if you wanted a cold beverage, and you said coffee.”
— Erin Hannon, The Office, Season 8: The Incentive
Tagged: Coffee, Cold Beverage, Misunderstanding, Gross, humor
“I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: I Don't Know What To Do
“It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 7: Sex Ed
Tagged: pimple, Avril Lavigne, Rocks, alive, normal
“No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs...Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: CPR, not breathing, practice, arms, legs, Quality of Life
“Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly, we didn't connect, I was miserable. Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman. Love is a mystery.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 3: The Job
Tagged: Bad Relationships, Love is a mystery
“You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is President! You are black, Stanley!”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: Die, Death, Barack Obama, President, african american
“Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 4: Survivor Man
Tagged: Names, Mix Up, Haunted, fact
“Bobby: Can I put a gun rack on my bike?

Hank: Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that?”
— Bobby Hill, King of the Hill, Season 2: How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying
Tagged: gun rack, Like Father Like Son
“I got away with everything under the last boss and it wasn't good for me. So I want guidance. I want leadership. Lead me... when I'm in the mood to be led.”
— Ryan Howard, The Office, Season 7: Search Committee
Tagged: Contradiction, Leadership, Mood, humor
“You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: Goodbye, Toby
Tagged: Cheating, Don't Cheat
“Guns don't kill people, the government does.”
— Dale Gribble, King of the Hill, Season 2: How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying
Tagged: Guns, Government, Second Amendment
“Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack. Not crack the drug.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: Survivor Man
Tagged: Wrinkles, racism, Crack, Drug
“I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: Youtube, tape, comes down
“I mean, I'm not a slut but who knows.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 2: The Carpet
Tagged: what does it mean to be a slut, Live Your Best Life, relationships and hookups
“Smoking is gonna save lives.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief
Tagged: smoking, Fire Drill
“I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4: Money
Tagged: Responsibilities, Running Away From Your Problems
“Hi Holly, it's Michael. I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said, it's just... you know? It's weird, today I ended up seeing a lot of the women that I used to date, and in my mind they were all great, and then when I actually saw them it was mostly a freak show. And you and me, that must've been a real train wreck. You know what? Holly, you're wrong. You are wrong. I remember every second of us, and talking to you today, I-don't-feel for them anything like what I feel for you. It's... I didn't joke with any of them, I joked with you, you were the only one who was actually happy to hear from me, and I don't know why you downgraded what we had, but I did not make us up. Ok. Oh, and you might... you should talk to a doctor because you might have herpes. Bye!”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 7: Sex Ed
Tagged: Phone Call, message, humor, Sad, Break Up, The One, Freak Show, Train Wreck, Herpes
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