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Max Greenfield Quotes

Total quotes (7)

Max Greenfield

Max Greenfield

Birthname

Birthday September 4, 1980

Birthplace Dobbs Ferry, New York, United States

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Actor, Television Actor

Characters Portrayed

Schmidt

Total quotes (7)

You cannot just call me at any time and just summon me for intercourse.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 1: Control

Sex Being Used Intercourse

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I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Alyssa Milano’s phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 2: Bachelorette Party

Success Goals Hard Work

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Without sex she's not your girlfriend okay? She's just a friend you buy meals for.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 2: Halloween

Sex friend zoned Friends

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When you care about somebody you do what's best for them even if it sucks for you.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 1: See Ya

Love Sacrifice good deeds

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I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is like a unique experience.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 1: (TV Series 2011– )

Sex unique Variety

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I think we're all a little bit crazy.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 1: Control

craziness psycho Personalities

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Schmidt happens.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 1: Kryptonite

Life Shit Happens Problems

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Related quotes to Max Greenfield tagged Sex, Love

Love is friendship. Just with less clothes, which makes it far more brilliant.

— Elizabeth Hunter, A Hidden Fire

Sex Love Friendship

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Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour.

Jerry: You’re serious?

Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.

Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Mango

Sex Sex and Friendships

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It’s messy,
but so are the best burritos
and the best sex
while eating burritos
and running with scissors
is the only way to make danger understand

— Bob Hicok, Verve Is to Élan What Kissing Is to Kissing Longer | Narrative Magazine

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Sex is not a tragedy, it's a comedy!

— Camille Paglia, Camille Paglia on Hugh Hefner's Legacy, Trump's Masculinity and Feminism's Sex Phobia

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Don't let your emotions completely obscure the barbaric roots of the sexual act. Don't lose touch with the seeds of our animal nature.

— Frank Gallagher (William H. Macy), Shameless, Season 3: The Helpful Gallaghers

Sex Humans and Animals

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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

— Wes Bergmann, via twitter.com

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That's not the clitoris: a love story.

— Melissa Broder, So Sad Today

LOL Sex Bad Sex

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Kanye West in the streets, Mae West in the sheets said Mindy Lahiri at a staff meeting to a chorus of boos.

— Mindy Kaling, via Twitter

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Sending your man a naughty message while you’re at work is a great way to get him out of his head at the corporate grind and get excited to be home.

— Stefan Ziglar, Sexting: Sexting Tips for Women: 200 Sexting Tips to turn him on!

How Turn A Guy On Dirty Text Messages Sex

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Your relationship just isn't about sex.

— Frank Kobola, 11 Signs He Thinks You're Going to Be Together Forever

forever person Sex Relationship

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There is zero cuddling happening. Sex can be a very intimate act. If your partner doesn’t show any physical affection outside of the act of sex itself, the sex is probably all they’re interested in.

— Meredith Hirt, 15 Unmistakeable Signs Your Crush Is Using You For Sex

using you cuddling affection Sex

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He dodges the 'where is this relationship going?' conversation.

— Lorna Poole, 5 Brutal Ways To Know If He's Just Using You For Sex

using you Relationship Sex the talk

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You need to train your throat, and then you need to give it up...If you use a banana or a cuke or a toy, make sure it’s turned realistically! You won’t always be in a 69 position where it can go right down.

— Callie Press, Give Good Head: How To Please Any Man

Head Sex blowjobs

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He doesn't have to finish...If you're sucking him off, taking your time and playing the tease, then chances are he will need to be inside you sooner rather than later. If you're not rushing to the end goal. that blowjob will lead to passionate sex.

— Danielle Pryor, 10 BJ Tricks That Will Keep Him Cumming Back For More

blowjobs Sex Head

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We graduated virgins, and made sure that title didn’t stick for long. How was I to know it would drive him to insanity?

— Eljay, Two Sentence Sex Stories

Sex Horror Two Sentence

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If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner may also want to designate a safe word or phrase you can use in case things veer off course. "I need to get some water" or "I'm thirsty" are both good options. You should also tell the third person to speak up if he or she is ever uncomfortable.

— Whitney C. Harris, How to Have a Threesome—From Start to Finish

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(About losing her virginity) You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.

— Cher, Clueless

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Why should I listen to you, anyway? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.

— Tai, Clueless

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I'm left feeling unsettled. I can't wait to shower. Sadly, I'm more conventional than I'd thought. In theory, I didn't mind sharing my husband for an afternoon. In practice, I was shaken up. I wasn't bored; I was bothered.

— Pamela Druckerman, Threesome 101: How I Planned a Ménage à Trois

threesome Sex Love Couples Relationships

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Kitchen table. Sitting the girl on the edge of the table is very convenient, while also being enjoyable for her. Or so I'm told.

— David Sweeney, 15 Most Awkward (But Potentially Fun) Places To Have Sex

places to have sex Sex kitchen

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In the sun. Some claim the only time our bodies are truly at peace is when the sun beats down on us because the sun's and body's biorhythms are the same.

— Tracey Cox, What are the 10 best places to have sex

places to have sex Sex Sunshine Outdoors

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Sex in the rain. There is something inherently sexy about a dripping wet body, so sex in the rain is a no-brainer. Try it on a warm, sunny day and enjoy the sensation of the cool rain splashing against your hot bodies.

— Jessica O'Reilly, Your Summer Sex Bucket List: 5 Must-Try Ideas | iVillage.ca

bucket list Rain Sex Outdoors

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Look me in the eyes whenever we are in a position that allows it.

— Higgy24, Ladies, what are some sex tips you wish every guy knew? • /r/sex

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Sex is not meant to hurt. If it hurts, stop!…It is not something she has to put up with for being a woman - there are many causes of sexual pain, and many have simple cures.

— VaginalKnives, Ladies, what are some sex tips you wish every guy knew? • /r/sex

Sex sex tips Female Orgasm Reddit Comps

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How did you plans for summer romance go? If they crashed and burned better start making your New Year's Resolutions early.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex Summer romance New Years

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April Fools Day is only two days away! Bet you can't wait, can you? What, you don't like to fool around?

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex april fools day orgasm

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I know roses are the traditional Vanetine's Day offering but a canister of whipped cream might be nice addition to spice things up.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex valentine's day whipped cream food

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With all these layers people are wearing a friendly game of strip poker might have to go into OT!

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex strip poker Stripping

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Guys if you put in as much anticipation into Val Day that you do the Super Bowl I guarantee you'd score more points w/the ladies.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex valentine's day Football

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Happy Festivus, the day where everyone is encouraged to do a little pole dancing!

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex pole dancing stripper

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Some people are voting today. Some people are having sex. They're not mutually exclusive but not in the polling booth, please!

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex Politics voting

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Hope you haven't let another hump day slip through your fingers though I suppose slippery fingers are an indication of something.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

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Chandler: 'Condoms?'

Joey: 'We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.'

Chandler: 'And condoms are the way to do that?'

— Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing, The One With All The Kips

Funny condoms Sex Hilarious

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The thought of sex as something forbidden excited me beyond all reason. It was like one animal knifing another into submission.

— Charles Bukowski, Women

Taboo Sex Forbidden

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Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they're not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days.

— Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

Sex Dating Love

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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.

— Woody Allen, via www.quotegarden.com

Sex Love hookups

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The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.

— Marcus Aurelius, Chastened: The Unexpected Story of My Year without Sex

Sex Music prayer

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If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

— Frank Zappa, College Is for Suckers: The First College Guide You Should Read

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Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

— Anaïs Nin, Parted Lips: Lesbian Love Quotes Through the Ages

Love Relationships Dating romance inspiration Sex reevaluate

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Everything that truly makes us happy is quite simple: love, sex, and food.

— Meryl Streep, Meryl Streep on The Talks Interviews

Happiness Love Sex food Simple little things

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All I have to do is remember the expression on my girlfriend’s face the first and only time she caught me cheating. She was so fucking crushed, it killed me. And then she managed to forgive me. I don’t want to do that to her ever again. She deserves so much better.

— Anonymous Guy, 14 Men Reveal How They Resist Even The Slightest Urge To Cheat On Their Girlfriends

Cheating Infidelity how to stay faithful Relationships Love Sex Couples

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I felt that if he touched me, I'd die. and then the thought crawled into my brain that if he didn't touch me, I'd die.

— Kitty Thomas, The Auction

Touch Lust Love Sex

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