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Jesse Eisenberg Quotes

Total quotes: 19
“It’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.”
— Columbus, Zombieland
Tagged: Horrendous, shit storm
“Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? It’s that power can be innocent.”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: Lie, Power, Innocence
“The devils don’t come from hell beneath us. No. No, they come from the sky.”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: Devils, Hell, Sky
“Ma'am, I know you've done your homework and so you know that money isn't a big part of my life, but at the moment I could buy Mt. Auburn Street, take the Phoenix Club, and turn it into my ping-pong room.”
— Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network
Tagged: homework, Money, ping-pong
“You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook.”
— Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network
Tagged: forensics, Facebook
“[after his neighbor changes into a zombie] You see? You just can’t trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.”
— Columbus, Zombieland
Tagged: Trust, Cannibalism
“You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.”
— Columbus, Zombieland
Tagged: cock-blocking, Robot, Fucking
“The first rule of Zombieland: cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons...were the fatties.”
— Columbus, Zombieland
Tagged: cardio, Fat-Shaming
“You don’t have to use the silver bullet, but if you forge one… Well, then… We don’t have to depend upon the kindness of monsters.”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: silver bullet, monsters, kindness
“They’re dialin’ up the rhetoric on Iraq. Let’s see if we can nail ‘em down, OK? Let’s get to work.”
— Columbus, Brightburn
Tagged: Iraq, Rhetoric
“You will fly to him, and you will battle him to the death. Black and blue. Fight night! The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. God versus man. Day versus night. Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham!”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: fly, Battle, Death, black and blue, Gladiator, krypton, Gotham
“The bells are already been rung, and they’ve heard it. Out in the dark, among the stars. Ding dong, the God is dead.”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: bells, ding dong
“So until next time, remember: cardio, seatbelts, and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I’m Columbus, Ohio from Zombieland, saying goodnight.”
— Columbus, Zombieland
Tagged: cardio, seatbealts
“Mark Zuckerberg: I'm not a bad guy.

Marylin Delpy: I know that. When there's emotional testimony, I assume that 85% of it is exaggeration.

Mark Zuckerberg: And the other fifteen?

Marylin Delpy: Perjury. Creation myths need a Devil.”
— Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network
Tagged: Emotion, Perjury, devil, creation myth
“The Red Capes are coming! The Red Capes are coming!”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: red capes, paul revere
“If man won’t kill God, the Devil will do it!”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: Man, God, devil
“What we call God depends upon our tribe, Clark Jo. Because God is tribal. God takes sides. No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from daddy’s fist and abominations. I’ve figured it out way back, if God is all powerful, He cannot be all good. And if He is all good, then He cannot be all powerful. And neither can you be.”
— Lex Luthor, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Tagged: Tribal, God, Powerful, Good
“Mark Zuckerberg: I went to my friend for the money because that's who I wanted to be partners with. Eduardo was the president of the Harvard Investors Association, and he was also my best friend.

Gage: Your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars.

Mark Zuckerberg: [Sarcastically] I didn't know that, tell me more.”
— Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network
Tagged: Harvard, Lawsuit
“Erica Albright: [Angry] I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education.

Mark Zuckerberg: I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even.

Erica Albright: I think we should just be friends.

Mark Zuckerberg: I don't want friends.

Erica Albright: I was just being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.”
— Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network
Tagged: Envy, Friends, polite, Education
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