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Billy Madison Quotes
Total quotes: 18
Billy Madison
character
Total quotes: 18
“Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.”
Tagged:
back to school
“O’Doyle: [Throws the dodgeball at Billy as he walks on to the playground]
Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
Tagged:
dodgeball, big trouble
“3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl.
Billy Madison: Kid can’t even read.
Ernie: Cut it out, dude, you’re gonna get us in trouble.
Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!”
Billy Madison: Kid can’t even read.
Ernie: Cut it out, dude, you’re gonna get us in trouble.
Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!”
Tagged:
Stuttering, bullying
“No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.”
Tagged:
chlorophyll, Making Out
“Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.
[Notices gold swan on edge of tub]
Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swan.”
[Notices gold swan on edge of tub]
Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swan.”
Tagged:
Shampoo, Conditioner
“Billy Madison: I swear to God I’m sick. I can’t go to school.
Juanita: If you’re gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison: Oh my God. I’ll go to school.”
Juanita: If you’re gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison: Oh my God. I’ll go to school.”
Tagged:
School, calling in sick
“Brian Madison: You remember that spelling bee you won in the 1st grade?
Billy Madison: Oh no, you didn’t.
Brian Madison: Rock? ‘r-o-k’?
Billy Madison: Yea, so what’s your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohh! The ‘C’ is silent.”
Billy Madison: Oh no, you didn’t.
Brian Madison: Rock? ‘r-o-k’?
Billy Madison: Yea, so what’s your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohh! The ‘C’ is silent.”
Tagged:
spelling bee
“Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I’d never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
Miss Lippy: Well, I think it’s an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.
Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that’s great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck? [pretending to be duck] That’s quacktastic.”
Miss Lippy: Well, I think it’s an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.
Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that’s great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck? [pretending to be duck] That’s quacktastic.”
Tagged:
boobs, double dare
“Billy Madison: Hey, I’m trying to score points with the teacher today. DON’T SCREW IT UP.
3rd Grader: I dare you to touch her boobs.
Billy Madison: Touch her boobs? That’s assault, brotha. You double-dare me?
Billy Madison: [walks down the bus to the teacher] Uhhh, Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there’s to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.
Veronica Vaughn: Not too long now...
[Billy pretends to fall on her, while groping her]
Billy Madison: Oh, I’m sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!
Veronica Vaughn: That’s all right, Billy, why don’t you go back and sit now? [smiling] I double dare you.
Billy Madison: [Stuttering] That...tit...accident...
Veronica Vaughn: Go back to your seat now.
Billy Madison: ...I...Yes...
[looking embarrassed now]”
3rd Grader: I dare you to touch her boobs.
Billy Madison: Touch her boobs? That’s assault, brotha. You double-dare me?
Billy Madison: [walks down the bus to the teacher] Uhhh, Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there’s to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.
Veronica Vaughn: Not too long now...
[Billy pretends to fall on her, while groping her]
Billy Madison: Oh, I’m sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!
Veronica Vaughn: That’s all right, Billy, why don’t you go back and sit now? [smiling] I double dare you.
Billy Madison: [Stuttering] That...tit...accident...
Veronica Vaughn: Go back to your seat now.
Billy Madison: ...I...Yes...
[looking embarrassed now]”
Tagged:
boobs, double dare
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