50 Dangerous Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused By Your Boyfriend

Pexels, Nikolay Draganov

50 Dangerous Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused By Your Boyfriend

You feel helpless, like you're trapped in the relationship.

Holly RiordanNovember 8, 2016

He will want you all to himself. He will glare at other men for looking at you and question you about your male friends. You may think this jealousy is cute, or even loving — at first. But soon, he’ll make you feel guilty for spending time with friends or family. He will call or text you several times a day, and may accuse you of flirting or cheating.

— Pamela Jacobs, 6 Early Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse Cheating Flirting Jealousy

Share

Sexual manipulation. Your partner emotionally manipulates you into sexual activities you don’t like. They may even emotionally armtwist you by saying things like ‘Other girls/guys do it! Why can’t you?’

— Natalia Avdeeva, 21 Big Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking

Emotional Abuse manipulation peer pressure Sex

Share

You get subtle nonverbal threats. Sometimes it can be by a look or a gesture that shows they don’t approve of what you’re doing.

— Alexandra Whittaker, Signs of Emotional Abuse | Reader’s Digest

Emotional Abuse Nonverbal Threats actions

Share

You're afraid to tell your partner about a normal happening - your car needs brakes, your boss made you work overtime - because you're not sure how he will react.

— Adriana Velez, You're Afraid To Talk To Them About Even The Little Things

Emotional Abuse Afraid Fear private

Share

He breaks his promises and he fails to follow through on agreements. He minimizes your efforts, interests, hobbies, achievements and concerns. He trivializes your thoughts and suggestions.

— Nancy Nichols, 10 Signs Of Emotional Abuse That You’re Not Overreacting To, No Matter What Your Abuser Tells You

Emotional Abuse promises Lies superior

Share

Your partner tells mean, inappropriate and demeaning jokes, with you as the punch line.

— David Wolfe, 20 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship You Can't Ignore!

Emotional Abuse Jokes mean Demeaning

Share

You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

— Barrie Davenport, via twitter.com

Emotional Abuse Permission Allowed

Share

An emotional abuser will exclude you not only from their heart, from their good will and from their approval, they will also exclude you from their activities. If you feel that your partner is making plans without you, if they are taking part in activities without you and if they are keeping secrets from you, disappearing and reappearing at will while refusing to explain their movements, you are likely in a relationship with someone who is abusing you in multiple ways.

— Adam Gilad, 37 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship

Emotional Abuse Excludes Friends

Share

An emotional abuser goes through life feeling entitled to be treated like royalty, and wants you to be a willing servant. He or she expects you to do everything and will not help at all.

— Merely Me, 10 Signs You May Be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse Expectations Servant Entitled

Share

He's petty. If he's the sort of person who makes a mountain out of the proverbial molehill—let's say, when a waitress doesn't put enough ice in his soda—be warned.

— Martha Brockenbrough, Is Your Partner Emotionally Abusive?

Emotional Abuse Petty complaints

Share

They try to control the finances and how you spend money.

— Barrie Davenport, via twitter.com

Emotional Abuse finances Control Money

Share

Her fender bender wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t called just as she pulled out of the driveway. If you hadn’t asked him to help out more with the kids, he could’ve put in more time at work and gotten that promotion. In fact, mostly everything that goes wrong is your fault.

— Abby Rodman, You’re Not Going Crazy: 5 Sure Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused

Emotional Abuse Blame Fault

Share

He nonsensically reminds you of the hordes of women who are attracted to him to make you believe it is your job to please him and make him happy at all times, lest he finds someone new.

— Christina Berchini, 12 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse Threats other women

Share

You feel helpless, like you're trapped in the relationship.

— Adriana Velez, You're Afraid To Talk To Them About Even The Little Things

Emotional Abuse helpless trapped

Share

If your partner tends to ignore you when the two of you are together, but the second you go to your parents' for the weekend they suddenly can't stop blowing up your phone, then you should know that's a serious red flag for an emotionally abusive relationship and partner.

— Elizabeth Enochs, 9 Signs You're Being Emotionally Abused In Your Relationship, Because Love Shouldn't Feel Manipulative

Emotional Abuse Ignoring Texting

Share

Threatening to commit suicide if you leave.

— Marni Feuerman, 21 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship | World of Psychology

Emotional Abuse Threats Suicide

Share

Painful comparisons. Your partner constantly compares you, either with your more prettier or successful friends, and tells you how much better than you they are. Your partner may even be subtle and point out to celebrities and tell you how they’re so much more attractive than you.

— Natalia Avdeeva, 21 Big Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking

Emotional Abuse comparisons celebs

Share

Seems like everyone is complimenting your new wardrobe, recent weight loss, or latest blogpost. Everyone, that is, except the one person who should be leading the cheering section. Your emotionally abusive partner is far more invested in tearing you down and keeping you down. He really doesn’t want you feeling good about yourself. If you do, you might realize you could do better elsewhere. So, instead of loving praise, you’ll get reactions that take you down a notch or two. Or ten.

— Abby Rodman, You’re Not Going Crazy: 5 Sure Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused

Emotional Abuse Wardrobe compliments Praise

Share

Alcohol and drug use. Not all abusers use drugs or drink excessive alcohol, but many do. An addiction can lead to erratic and innappropriate behavior. Substance abuse can be a gateway to emotional abuse and an unhealthy relationship.

— Merely Me, 10 Signs You May Be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse Alcohol Drugs unhealthy

Share

Isolating you from friends and family.

— Marni Feuerman, 21 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship | World of Psychology

Emotional Abuse Isolation Friends Family

Share

They're so jealous it's Scary. A certain amount of jealousy is pretty normal in most relationships. Having said that, the level of jealous behavior and the reason behind that jealousy does make a difference. It's one thing if your partner gets jealous when someone blatantly hits on you in front of them and you flirt back, but it's a totally different story if they freak out when some random person on your friends list 'likes' a photo of you in a bikini.

— Elizabeth Enochs, 9 Signs You're Being Emotionally Abused In Your Relationship, Because Love Shouldn't Feel Manipulative

Emotional Abuse Jealous Jealousy scary

Share

Are they unable to laugh at themselves?

— Maria Bogdanos, Signs of Emotional Abuse | World of Psychology

Emotional Abuse Laughter Sensitive

Share

Your partner constantly calls, texts or even shows up to check up on you to see who you are with and what you’re doing when he or she isn’t around.

— David Wolfe, 20 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship You Can't Ignore!

Emotional Abuse calls texts

Share

An emotional abuser doesn’t want to hear about your pain, except to reinforce that you deserve whatever pain you feel. That you’ve brought it on yourself, or that it’s your deserved destiny to feel bad about yourself. If your partner indicates they have no time to talk about what worries, scares or inspires you, notice if it’s part of a pattern.

— Adam Gilad, 37 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship

Emotional Abuse Pain worries Fear

Share

Your partner blames you for his or her problems, bad moods and overall unhappiness.

— David Wolfe, 20 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship You Can't Ignore!

Emotional Abuse Unhappy blaming Bad Mood

Share

Withholding important information.

— Natasha Tracy, Emotional Abuse: Definitions, Signs, Symptoms, Examples

Emotional Abuse Withholding Secrets

Share

He's pushy. While this might be done under the guise of "sweeping you off your feet," guys who push for too much too soon can be trouble. He should care more about your boundaries than his desires.

— Martha Brockenbrough, Is Your Partner Emotionally Abusive?

Emotional Abuse Pushy Too Fast boundaries

Share

Your self-esteem has taken a hit. If your partner consistently puts you down and doesn’t value your thoughts, he or she could damage your self-esteem.

— Alexandra Whittaker, Signs of Emotional Abuse | Reader’s Digest

Emotional Abuse Self-Esteem self-conscious

Share

Do they have trouble apologizing?

— Maria Bogdanos, Signs of Emotional Abuse | World of Psychology

Emotional Abuse Apologies forgiveness

Share

He pushes for quick involvement. He comes on strong, claiming, 'I've never felt loved like this before by anyone.' You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

— Wendy Kay, 15 Undeniable Warning Signs That Your Relationship Is Abusive

Emotional Abuse Commitment pressure

Share

He will be very concerned about you. He may get upset if you don’t call him back right away or if you come home late. He will say it’s because he worries about you. He will start to question who you saw, where you went, and what you were doing. He will mask his control as concern for your well-being. He will start to make decisions for you — who you spend time with and where you go — and claim to know what’s best for you.

— Pamela Jacobs, 6 Early Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse Concerned Control Decisions

Share

He refuses to listen, he ignores your questions, he withholds eye contact and he gives you the ‘silent treatment.’ He’s punishing you!

— Nancy Nichols, 10 Signs Of Emotional Abuse That You’re Not Overreacting To, No Matter What Your Abuser Tells You

Emotional Abuse Ignoring Silent Treatment punishment

Share

An abuser will often use gifts and romance to distract you from other concerning behaviors, such as control and jealousy.

— Pamela Jacobs, 6 Early Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse Control Jealousy gifts

Share

They throw objects around you. Throwing and breaking things is a violent act, even if nothing is thrown directly at you.

— Alexandra Whittaker, Signs of Emotional Abuse | Reader’s Digest

Emotional Abuse violent Damage physical

Share

Making an individual fear that they will not receive the food or care they need.

— Natasha Tracy, Emotional Abuse: Definitions, Signs, Symptoms, Examples

Emotional Abuse Fear food Care

Share

He’s the guy who does not leave your dorm/apartment/home when you’ve asked him to. The same goes for the guy who shows up to your home when you have explicitly asked him not to. None of this is cute or endearing. It is offensive and an abuse of your boundaries.

— Christina Berchini, 12 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse disrespect boundaries Offensive

Share

He's resentful. People like this aren't able to deal with the fact that life can sometimes be tough and unfair. They dwell on the injustice. Their resentment is a self-defense mechanism, masking a fear of inadequacy or failure.

— Martha Brockenbrough, Is Your Partner Emotionally Abusive?

Emotional Abuse Resentful Fear Self-Defense

Share

When you complain do they say that ‘it was just a joke’ and that you are too sensitive?

— Maria Bogdanos, Signs of Emotional Abuse | World of Psychology

Emotional Abuse Sensitive Overreacting

Share

He steers the conversation by refusing to discuss an issue or he inappropriately interrupts the conversation. He twists your words, he watches TV, or he walks out of the room while you’re talking. He criticizes you in a way that causes you to defend yourself and lose sight of the original conversation.

— Nancy Nichols, 10 Signs Of Emotional Abuse That You’re Not Overreacting To, No Matter What Your Abuser Tells You

Emotional Abuse Conversation Confusion

Share

Sometimes an emotional abuser will deliberately lie to you to confuse you and make you doubt your perceptions. They will make you doubt their own observations, memory and sanity. Sometimes they will argue and wear you down until you don’t trust what you know is true.

— Adam Gilad, 37 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship

Emotional Abuse Lies Memories Insanity

Share

You’re really sad about putting your dog down, your uncle’s illness, or losing that road race. You could really use a shoulder to cry on. But you know you can’t rely on your partner for that. In order to stay in control, emotional abusers need your focus to be on them. Their tolerance for your woes is limited because they need to quickly get back to their fix: abusing you. A loving partner is your soft place to land, and will grieve life’s losses right alongside you. If your partner isn’t there for you in the tough times, take note.

— Abby Rodman, You’re Not Going Crazy: 5 Sure Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused

Emotional Abuse Control upset

Share

They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.

— Barrie Davenport, via twitter.com

Emotional Abuse Sex manipulation Control

Share

Your partner’s behavior and attitude confuses you. At times, they may be extremely loving and caring. And at other times, they’re really mean and hurtful. You just can’t predict how they’ll react to anything you do.

— Natalia Avdeeva, 21 Big Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking

Emotional Abuse Confusion mixed signals Hurtful

Share

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, there is a good chance that eventually things may get physical. At first, the abuser might pull your hair, push you, or grab you so hard that you bruise; these may only be warning signs that things can escalate further.

— Merely Me, 10 Signs You May Be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse physical Violence Warning Signs

Share

When you ask him a question about his intentions, does he stutter? Does he talk around the question? It takes approximately zero seconds to communicate the truth. It takes a little longer than that to come up with a passable lie or excuse. Interpret stuttering and dancing around questions for what they reveal: The very real probability that you are not getting the whole story.

— Christina Berchini, 12 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Emotional Abuse Communicate Liar

Share

You no longer want to bring your significant other around your friends or family because you're afraid he will berate you and humiliate you in front of your loved ones.

— Adriana Velez, You're Afraid To Talk To Them About Even The Little Things

Emotional Abuse Humiliate Jokes Making Fun

Share

Socially isolating an individual, failing to let them have visitors.

— Natasha Tracy, Emotional Abuse: Definitions, Signs, Symptoms, Examples

Emotional Abuse Isolation Captive

Share

There are rigid gender roles in the relationship. He expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.

— Wendy Kay, 15 Undeniable Warning Signs That Your Relationship Is Abusive

Emotional Abuse gender roles gender

Share

If your partner is exhibiting inappropriate behavior with people outside of your relationship as a way to control you, punish you, or dictate your relationship, then they are emotionally abusing you and breaking your trust at the same time.

— Elizabeth Enochs, 9 Signs You're Being Emotionally Abused In Your Relationship, Because Love Shouldn't Feel Manipulative

Emotional Abuse affair Cheating Control

Share

Extramarital affairs.

— Marni Feuerman, 21 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship | World of Psychology

Emotional Abuse Affairs Cheating

Share