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Quotes tagged “Stories”
Lisa Schwartz: He doesn’t even know her name!
Punam Patel: Does she have any say in this marriage? He married her right away. Like, did she want to be married? What was she running away from? Why was she there? Doesn’t matter, because someone wants to marry her and that’s the only thing that could ever matter in her whole life.
Lisa Schwartz: That’s like everyone in my high school.
Punam Patel: Yeah.
Lisa Schwartz: I hate this story.
Punam Patel: Me too. Well, happily ever after.”
Jake: Let me get straight to the point. I heard that you and my wife are having an affair.
Eric: Yeah, I've heard those stories, but I don't believe any of them.”
Ben Schmidt: What—what man?
Mike Milligan: Just a man. He works in a factory. One day, the boss gets it in his mind that this man is stealing from him. So, every night at the gate, the guards search his wheelbarrow. But they never find anything.
Ben Schmidt: Pat him down.
Mike Milligan: Oh, they do that. Strip him naked—nothin'.
Ben Schmidt: So he's not stealin'.
Mike Milligan: Of course he is.
Lou Solverson: Wheelbarrows.
Mike Milligan: Thank you. That's right. He's stealing wheelbarrows.
Ben Schmidt: What?
Mike Milligan: My point is sometimes the answer is so obvious you can't see it because you're looking too hard.”
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