Well, when you say 'classmate', it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste, but what's great about community college is that a lot of the students are just as mature as the teachers.

— Jon Pollack, Tim Hobert, Jeff Winger, Joel Mchale, imdb.com

classmate Naps Paste community college Students

I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.

— Jon Pollack, Tim Hobert, Jeff Winger, Joel Mchale, imdb.com

Conflict Enjoyment Life

Look at me. I've got the body of a fifth grader.

— Jon Pollack, Tim Hobert, Senor Chang, Ken Jeong, imdb.com

look Body fifth grader

I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic!

— Jon Pollack, Tim Hobert, Annie Edison, Alison Brie, imdb.com

Unpopular high school crossing guard

Oh, that is our human color wheel. It goes from Seal to Seal's teeth.

— Hilary Winston, Dean Pelton, Jim Rash, imdb.com

human Color wheel Seal

You're just as selfish as I am - you're just not as good at it yet.

— Hilary Winston, Jeff Winger, Joel Mchale, imdb.com

Selfish Good practice

So pick up your pom-poms, Pierce, stuff your bra, and get ready for the team bus to forget you at a Taco Bell, because life is tough. But we soldier on, and that's just the way it goes.

— Liz Cackowski, Annie Edison, Alison Brie, imdb.com

pom-poms stuff your bra team bus Taco Bell Life

Well, I didn't realize we were really good friends. I figured we were really more like Chandler and Phoebe. They never really had stories together.

— Liz Cackowski, Abed Nadir, Danny Pudi, imdb.com

Good Friends reference Stories

Our first assignment is a documentary. They're like real movies but with ugly people.

— Jon Pollack, Tim Hobert, Abed Nadir, Danny Pudi, imdb.com

Documentary assignment real movies ugly

9/11 was pretty much 9/11 for the falafel business.

— Jon Pollack, Tim Hobert, Abed Nadir, Danny Pudi, imdb.com

9/11 falafel Business End

Why are you dressed like an 80's rapist?

— Dan Harmon, Britta Perry, Gillian Jacobs, imdb.com

Questions Dressed 80s Rapist

Conflicts like this will ultimately bring us together as an unlikely family.

— Dan Harmon, Abed Nadir, Danny Pudi, imdb.com

Conflicts ultimately Together unlikely Family

Apparently my sperm shoots through the egg like bullets! Can you believe that?

— Dan Harmon, Pierce Hawthorne, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Sperm eggs Simile Examples bullets Shock

A lifetime of disappointments has given me douche-ray vision.

— Dan Harmon, Britta Perry, Gillian Jacobs, imdb.com

Douche x-ray Vision play on words Lifetime

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