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Quotes tagged “Stand-UP”
Damn gravity. Got me again! ”
It's too many letters, man.
"Hold on, I'm only on 'Enjoy'! How did you know I was calling? I can see why they hired you!"”
And that to me was kinda worse... In a way... Y'know? Not only does she not have arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's very simple, Lola, you just take two words, you put them together, then you take out the middle letter, you put a comma in there and you raise it up!”
"I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "So do I!"
"Well let's form a club then."
"Alright, but we need more stipulations."
"Yes we do; instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again."
"Yes, four triangles, and we will position them into a circle. In the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad."
"Okay. I got a question for ya, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?"
"I'm for 'em!"
"Well this club is formed; spread the word on menus nationwide."”
I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment! We ain't gonna tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination; good luck, fucker! ”
Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean.
"I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach! I will throw water at you. Hopefully they will invent a product before you shrivel and die!"”
"Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware? Don't decorate it!"”
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This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.
Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.
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