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Quotes tagged “blonde jokes”
The brunette says, 'I brought the bread from the cooler, if we get hungry, we can eat it.'
The redhead says 'I brought the water from the cooler, if we get thirsty, we can drink it.'
The blonde looks at them and proudly says 'I brought the car door. If we get too hot, we can roll down the window!'”
The blonde because she stopped and asked for directions.”
Put a dildo under a glass table.”
Employee says, 'Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.' The blonde leaves in a huff.
The next day, she returns to the same store, but with her hair dyed brown.
'I'd like to buy this TV, please.'
'I'm sorry, miss, but we don't sell to blondes.'
The next day, the blonde returns again, with her hair dyed red.
'I'd like to buy this TV, sir.'
'Sorry, miss, but we don't sell to blondes.'
Now she's beyond pissed.
'This is absolutely ridiculous! I've come in here the last three days now, with my hair a different color each time! How do you even know I'm a blonde?'
'Because that's not a TV; it's a microwave.'”
Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.”
For the visitors who don't drink.”
Is it mine?”
The man replies 'S.H.I.T.'
She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.'
The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!'
The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'”
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.”
Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?
Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!!
Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child?
Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!”
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