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All Quotes tagged Blonde Jokes(50)

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On a flight to L.A., a blonde leaves her seat in coach and goes and sits in first class. When the stewardess tells her she has to return to her seat, the blonde says 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying right here until we reach L.A.'. The stewardess talks to the flight crew, so the co-pilot goes back and tells the blonde she needs to go back to her seat. The blonde says 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying right here until we reach L.A.'. The co-pilot reports failure to the pilot, who says 'I can handle this. I'm married to a blonde'. So the pilot goes and whispers to the blonde, who says 'Oh, okay' and returns to her seat in coach. The co-pilot asks the pilot 'What did you say?' The pilot replied 'I told her first-class wasn't going to L.A.'

— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit

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A blonde is on vacation and runs out of money. She wants to write an e-mail to her mother so that her mother can send her some. She goes to an internet café and goes up to the guy at the desk. She says: 'I'm sorry, but I'm broke and I really need to contact my mother. Is there any way I could do that for free? I don't even have enough to pay the fee here.' The guy at the front desk asks her in his creepiest voice: 'Do you really need to contact your mother?' 'Yes' she answers. 'I really need to contact my mother.' 'And you would do anything?' 'Yes I would do anything to contact my mother.' 'Really anything?' Exasperated, the blonde answers: 'Yes, yes, yes, I would do anything.' 'Well, then.' the guy says 'Why don't you just follow me to the back room.' So she does. The guy pulls down his pants. The blonde is a bit irritated at first, but thinks that what must be must be. He pulls down his underpants. 'Well,' He says 'Do it!' So the blond gets down on her knees in front of him. She licks her lips. She bends forward and whispers: 'Hello, mom? Can you hear me?'

— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?' The blonde said, 'How about 50 dollars?' The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, 'Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?' The man replied, 'She should. She was standing on the porch.'
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' he asked. 'Yes,' the blonde answered, 'and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. 'Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. 'And by the way,' the blonde added, 'that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari.'

— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit

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