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Quotes tagged “blonde jokes”

“A blonde wearing an eye-patch and missing a leg, walks into a bar and a brunette waitress says, 'Oh my god look at that one-eyed, one-legged skank!' and the blonde spins round shouting 'Where, where, I don't see her!'”
— Reddit, What's your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, funny joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“There is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walking through the desert. They all brought one thing from the broken down car to help them on their journey to find shelter.
The brunette says, 'I brought the bread from the cooler, if we get hungry, we can eat it.'
The redhead says 'I brought the water from the cooler, if we get thirsty, we can drink it.'
The blonde looks at them and proudly says 'I brought the car door. If we get too hot, we can roll down the window!'”
— Reddit, Reddit, what is a funny blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, blonde jokes, blonde
“What did the blonde get on her SAT? Drool!”
— Reddit, Remember those old "blonde" jokes? What's the best one you've got? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“A blonde a brunette and a red head jumped off a cliff. Who hits the ground last?
The blonde because she stopped and asked for directions.”
— Reddit, What's your favorite blonde joke? Did you make it up yourself? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“How do you break a blonde's nose?
Put a dildo under a glass table.”
— Reddit, What's your favorite blonde joke? Did you make it up yourself? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“A blonde wants into the store and says to the employee, 'I'd like to buy this TV.'
Employee says, 'Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.' The blonde leaves in a huff.
The next day, she returns to the same store, but with her hair dyed brown.
'I'd like to buy this TV, please.'
'I'm sorry, miss, but we don't sell to blondes.'
The next day, the blonde returns again, with her hair dyed red.
'I'd like to buy this TV, sir.'
'Sorry, miss, but we don't sell to blondes.'
Now she's beyond pissed.
'This is absolutely ridiculous! I've come in here the last three days now, with my hair a different color each time! How do you even know I'm a blonde?'
'Because that's not a TV; it's a microwave.'”
— Reddit, What's your favorite blonde joke? Did you make it up yourself? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“What do you call a blonde with a brunette wig on?
Artificial Intelligence.”
— Reddit, Reddit, I'm sitting next to my blonde girlfriend.. what is the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“How do you entertain a blonde for the day?
Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.”
— Reddit, Reddit, I'm sitting next to my blonde girlfriend.. what is the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.”
— Reddit, Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, Jokes, joke, blonde, blonde jokes
“Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blonde too.”
— Reddit, Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“Why does the blonde girl put an empty bottle in the fridge?
For the visitors who don't drink.”
— Reddit, Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde jokes, blonde
“What's the first thing a blonde asks when she learns she is pregnant?
Is it mine?”
— Reddit, Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“A blonde was pulled over for speeding by a blonde cop and was asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, 'What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, 'You dummy, it's got your picture on it!' The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom, and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, 'You're free to go. If I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.'”
— Reddit, Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde, blonde jokes
“What do you call a blonde doctor?
An imposter!”
— Reddit, Reddit, I'm sitting next to my blonde girlfriend.. what is the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde jokes, blonde
“A blonde was trying to install something on her computer. When it was all done, the computer said 'press any key to continue'. She then had to call someone because she couldn't find the 'any' key.”
— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde jokes, blonde
“A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F'
The man replies 'S.H.I.T.'
She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.'
The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!'
The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'”
— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, funny joke, joke, blonde, blonde jokes
“How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.”
— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, Jokes, funny joke, blonde, blonde jokes
“A blonde guy calls 911.
Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?
Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!!
Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child?
Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!”
— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, funny joke, blonde, blonde jokes
“A blonde asked me 'What letter comes after X?' So I responded 'Y', and she got mad and said 'Stop being a jerk, I really want to know!'”
— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde jokes, blonde
“A man and a blonde are driving in a car next to a field. They come across a blonde male in a row boat rowing. 'See! This is exactly why blondes get such a bad rap.' Says the blonde. 'If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and teach him a lesson.'”
— Reddit, What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Tagged: Funny, joke, Jokes, blonde jokes, blonde

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This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

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