Combined Shape
Quote Pictures
Pages
Latest
People
Movie Quotes
TV Quotes
Log In
Sign Up
Featured Posts
50 Paulo Coelho Quotes That Will Soothe Your Aching Soul
24 'Stranger Things' Quotes To Help Hold You Over Until The Second Season
Pick Up Lines For Girls
107 Of The Greatest Single Sentences In Literature
18 Grey's Anatomy Quotes That Were All Too Real For Television
50 Quotes That Prove It Takes Strength To Let Your Vulnerable Side Show
View All Posts
All Quotes
tagged
Blonde Jokes
(50)
A blonde wearing an eye-patch and missing a leg, walks into a bar and a brunette waitress says, 'Oh my god look at that one-eyed, one-legged skank!' and the blonde spins round shouting 'Where, where, I don't see her!'
—
Reddit
,
What's your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
There is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walking through the desert. They all brought one thing from the broken down car to help them on their journey to find shelter.
The brunette says, 'I brought the bread from the cooler, if we get hungry, we can eat it.'
The redhead says 'I brought the water from the cooler, if we get thirsty, we can drink it.'
The blonde looks at them and proudly says 'I brought the car door. If we get too hot, we can roll down the window!'
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is a funny blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
What did the blonde get on her SAT? Drool!
—
Reddit
,
Remember those old "blonde" jokes? What's the best one you've got? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde a brunette and a red head jumped off a cliff. Who hits the ground last?
The blonde because she stopped and asked for directions.
—
Reddit
,
What's your favorite blonde joke? Did you make it up yourself? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
How do you break a blonde's nose?
Put a dildo under a glass table.
—
Reddit
,
What's your favorite blonde joke? Did you make it up yourself? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde wants into the store and says to the employee, 'I'd like to buy this TV.'
Employee says, 'Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.' The blonde leaves in a huff.
The next day, she returns to the same store, but with her hair dyed brown.
'I'd like to buy this TV, please.'
'I'm sorry, miss, but we don't sell to blondes.'
The next day, the blonde returns again, with her hair dyed red.
'I'd like to buy this TV, sir.'
'Sorry, miss, but we don't sell to blondes.'
Now she's beyond pissed.
'This is absolutely ridiculous! I've come in here the last three days now, with my hair a different color each time! How do you even know I'm a blonde?'
'Because that's not a TV; it's a microwave.'
—
Reddit
,
What's your favorite blonde joke? Did you make it up yourself? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What do you call a blonde with a brunette wig on?
Artificial Intelligence.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, I'm sitting next to my blonde girlfriend.. what is the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
How do you entertain a blonde for the day?
Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, I'm sitting next to my blonde girlfriend.. what is the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Funny
Jokes
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blonde too.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Why does the blonde girl put an empty bottle in the fridge?
For the visitors who don't drink.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
What's the first thing a blonde asks when she learns she is pregnant?
Is it mine?
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde was pulled over for speeding by a blonde cop and was asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, 'What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, 'You dummy, it's got your picture on it!' The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom, and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, 'You're free to go. If I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.'
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, tell me your best blonde jokes. • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What do you call a blonde doctor?
An imposter!
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, I'm sitting next to my blonde girlfriend.. what is the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
A blonde was trying to install something on her computer. When it was all done, the computer said 'press any key to continue'. She then had to call someone because she couldn't find the 'any' key.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F'
The man replies 'S.H.I.T.'
She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.'
The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!'
The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
Jokes
funny joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde guy calls 911.
Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?
Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!!
Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child?
Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde asked me 'What letter comes after X?' So I responded 'Y', and she got mad and said 'Stop being a jerk, I really want to know!'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
A man and a blonde are driving in a car next to a field. They come across a blonde male in a row boat rowing. 'See! This is exactly why blondes get such a bad rap.' Says the blonde. 'If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and teach him a lesson.'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after I slap it.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What does the blonde play on her iPod all the time?
Breathe in...Breathe out...Breathe in...Breathe out.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde is standing on one side of a canal. Another blonde walking on the other side yells across 'How do you get to the other side?'
The other blonde yells back 'Duh, you're on the other side.'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A brunette comes home one day and saw her blonde roommate hanging from the ceiling by her waist. The brunette said 'What are you doing?' The blonde replies 'Hanging myself, I'm done with life, and want to die.' The brunette says back 'Wouldn't you put the rope around your neck?' The blonde replies ' Yeah I tried that, but i couldn't breathe!'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Two blondes walk into a building. You'd have thought one of them would've seen it.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
How do you make a blonde run laps? Put her in a round room and tell her she has to pee in the corner.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
How did the blonde break her legs raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
On a flight to L.A., a blonde leaves her seat in coach and goes and sits in first class. When the stewardess tells her she has to return to her seat, the blonde says 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying right here until we reach L.A.'. The stewardess talks to the flight crew, so the co-pilot goes back and tells the blonde she needs to go back to her seat. The blonde says 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying right here until we reach L.A.'. The co-pilot reports failure to the pilot, who says 'I can handle this. I'm married to a blonde'. So the pilot goes and whispers to the blonde, who says 'Oh, okay' and returns to her seat in coach. The co-pilot asks the pilot 'What did you say?' The pilot replied 'I told her first-class wasn't going to L.A.'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
This man had sex with a blonde bomb shell. He pulled out a cigarette and lights up, then asks, 'Do you smoke after sex?'
She looks down at her vagina with enthusiasm and says, 'I don't know! I've never checked.'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
A blonde is on vacation and runs out of money. She wants to write an e-mail to her mother so that her mother can send her some. She goes to an internet café and goes up to the guy at the desk. She says: 'I'm sorry, but I'm broke and I really need to contact my mother. Is there any way I could do that for free? I don't even have enough to pay the fee here.' The guy at the front desk asks her in his creepiest voice: 'Do you really need to contact your mother?' 'Yes' she answers. 'I really need to contact my mother.' 'And you would do anything?' 'Yes I would do anything to contact my mother.' 'Really anything?' Exasperated, the blonde answers: 'Yes, yes, yes, I would do anything.' 'Well, then.' the guy says 'Why don't you just follow me to the back room.' So she does. The guy pulls down his pants. The blonde is a bit irritated at first, but thinks that what must be must be. He pulls down his underpants. 'Well,' He says 'Do it!' So the blond gets down on her knees in front of him. She licks her lips. She bends forward and whispers: 'Hello, mom? Can you hear me?'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde and a brunette are talking about sex, and the brunette says 'once I had sex with a Brazilian man', and the blonde asks 'how many is a Brazillian?!'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?' The blonde said, 'How about 50 dollars?' The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, 'Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?' The man replied, 'She should. She was standing on the porch.'
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' he asked. 'Yes,' the blonde answered, 'and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. 'Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. 'And by the way,' the blonde added, 'that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari.'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What's a blonde with 3 brain cells called? Pregnant.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Two blondes are walking through the woods and come across some tracks. Blonde #1: Awww how cute, deer tracks. Blonde #2: Those are wolf tracks stupid! Blonde #1: NO, my dad taught me about this, These are deer tracks!
They keep arguing and 20 minutes later they get hit by a train.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Blonde, brunette, and redhead in the gyno's office. All three are pregnant.
The brunette says she's sure she's having a boy, because when she got pregnant her husband was on top.
The redhead says in that case, she figures she's having a girl, because when she got pregnant she was on top.
The blonde bursts into tears, and says 'Oh no, I'm having puppies!'
—
Reddit
,
via www.reddit.com
Funny
joke
blonde jokes
blonde
Share
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island a moderate distance from shore. The brunette tries to swim back, gets tired a quarter of the way there and heads back to the island. The redhead tries to swim back, gets tired a third of the way there and also heads back. The blonde gets halfway there, gets tired, and also swims back.
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What's a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
'You fellows all on the same team?'
—
Reddit
,
What's the best blonde joke you know? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Jokes
Share
A blonde a brunette and a redhead are on an elevator when a good looking man gets on. He gets off at the next floor. Having noticed his dandruff, the redhead says to the brunette, 'He could use some head and shoulders.' Looking confused, the blonde asks, 'How do you give a guy shoulders?'
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
They need a place to put their legs.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
They know how many went down on the Titanic.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What job did the M&M factory give to the blonde?
Proofreading.
Why did she get fired?
Throwing out all the W's.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
blonde
blonde jokes
joke
Share
Two blondes are stuck in a burning apartment on the 30th floor on the balcony. They're both screaming for help one after another, to no avail...
Then one of the blondes says i don't think anyone can hear us.. maybe if we scream together, we'll be louder and we'll get saved!
They both start yelling, 'Together! Together! Together!'
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Blonde: 'What does IDK stand for?' Brunette: 'I don’t know.' Blonde: 'OMG, nobody does!'
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Clause are allegedly seen walking down the street together. They come across a 20 dollar bill on the ground. Which one picks it up?
The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
funny joke
joke
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What is the difference between a blonde and a man? A blonde has a higher sperm count.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, 'Awwww, I wish my friends were here.'
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'I hope it's mine.'
—
Reddit
,
Reddit, what is your best blonde joke? • /r/AskReddit
Funny
joke
Jokes
blonde
blonde jokes
Share