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Quotes tagged “Cemeteries”
Cemetery Salesman: Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but that's privileged information... We don't give that out to the public.
Oscar Madison: Well, I can appreciate that, but I want to help my friend, Felix Unger.
Cemetery Salesman: Oh, yes, Mr Unger. Very nice man. Sorry to lose him.
Oscar Madison: Well, you don't have to lose him. Just give me the name.
Cemetery Salesman: I'm sorry, sir, but it's a matter of ethics. Besides, the owner may be leaving this earth very soon.
Oscar Madison: Uh, maybe he'd like to make a little profit before he goes. I mean, he paid 500 for it, I'll give him 750.
Cemetery Salesman: But you couldn't give him anything if you didn't have his name.
Oscar Madison: OK, OK, I'll double it. I'll give him a thousand dollars for the plot.
Cemetery Salesman: No. You'll give him 750 for the plot.
Oscar Madison: Oh, thank you.
Cemetery Salesman: And you'll give me 250 for his name.
Oscar Madison: But that is...
Cemetery Salesman: I know, but the cemetery game is a jungle.”
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This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.
Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.
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