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Spike Feresten Quotes

Total quotes: 23
“We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Ricans, Festive
“George: I gotta call Elaine.

Jerry: She’s out.

George: Oh, yeah. The blind date.

Jerry: They call it a setup, now. I guess the blind people don’t like being associated with all those losers.”
— Spike Feresten, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Andrea Doria
Tagged: blind dates, Blind People, losers
“Jerry: You will be stunned.

Elaine: Stunned by soup?

Jerry: You can’t eat this soup standing up. Your knees buckle.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Soup Nazi
Tagged: Stunned, Soup, Delicious
“Hey, Silvio, look at Jerry here, prancing around in his coat with his purse. Yup, he's a dandy. He's a real fancy boy.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Reverse Peephole
Tagged: Dandy, Effeminacy, Man Purses
“Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!”
— Bob, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Rican Day, Thugs, Threats
“It's the best part. It's crunchy, it's explosive, it's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million-dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Muffin Tops
Tagged: Muffin Tops, Entrepreneurs, Million-Dollar Idea
“If you can call it that. Why is it every halfwit and sitcom star has his own book out now?”
— Mr. Lippman, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Muffin Tops
Tagged: Sitcom Stars, Halfwits, celebrity, Vanity, Publishing
“George, we've had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Junk Mail
Tagged: Parents, Disowning
“To Hawaii. The most sought-after postal route of them all. The air is so dewy-sweet you don't even have to lick the stamps. But it's not to be, so I'm hanging it up.”
— Newman, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Andrea Doria
Tagged: Hawaii, Postal Routes, Humidity, Mailmen
“In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Andrea Doria
Tagged: bald, Obesity, Stupid, Tragedy, Horror
“There's only one caveat—the guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He's secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Soup Nazi
Tagged: Caveats, Soup, Nazis, Soup Nazi, Temperamental, Anger
“He's not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. Most geniuses are.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Soup Nazi
Tagged: Soup, Nazis, Soup Nazi, Geniuses, Eccentric People
“Well perhaps he thinks that you're working him for the discount. Shaking that little butt of yours into big, big savings....And then when you get it, you know, you drop him like a hot potato.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Wig Master
Tagged: manipulation, Discounts
“I had to listen to a five-minute discussion on which one is actually called Shmoopy.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Soup Nazi
Tagged: Shmoopy, Public Displays of Affection, PDA
“I found out he's a bad breaker-upper…you know when you break up, how you say things you don't mean? Well, he says the mean things you don't mean, but he means them.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Andrea Doria
Tagged: Breakups, Cruelty, mean, Bad Breaker-Upper
“I know what you thought. They don't have homes, they don't have jobs, what do they need the top of a muffin for? They're lucky to get the stumps.”
— Rebecca, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Muffin Tops
Tagged: Poverty, Unemployment, homeless
“I don't think you wanna get hurt. Because if you wanna get hurt, I can hurt you. Now just back off.”
— Bob, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Soup Nazi
Tagged: Gay Men, Thugs, Threats
“The last thing this guy's qualified to give a tour of is reality.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Muffin Tops
Tagged: Sarcasm, Reality
“I don't think George has ever thought he's better than anybody.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Soup Nazi
Tagged: insults, Low self-esteem
“Here's to us who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Little Kicks
Tagged: Toasts, Hell, Go to Hell
“Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H. E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Wealth, Industrialist, Philanthropy
“You can't eat this soup standing up; your knees buckle.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Soup Nazi
Tagged: Soup, Nazis, food, Foodie
“You're in trouble, Kramer. I shouldn't even be talking to you, but I'm telling you as a friend. Here's how it's going to happen: You may be walking. Maybe on a crisp, autumn day just like today. When a mail truck will slow beside you and a door will open, and a mailman you know, maybe even trust, will offer to give you a lift.”
— Newman, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Junk Mail
Tagged: Mail, Revenge, Kidnapping
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