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Stephen Falk Quotes

Total quotes: 18
“What? Whoa. What? So he porks her and you have to watch? What? Damn, that's crazy! Jesus, why doesn't anything cool ever happen to me?”
— Vernon Barbara, You're the Worst, Season 3: The Seventh Layer
Tagged: Cuckolding, cool, Ironic
“Well, as my Grandma used to say, it's only a walk of shame if you're capable of feeling shame.”
— Gretchen Cutler, You're the Worst, Season 1: Keys Open Doors
Tagged: Shameless, one-night stand, Slut Shaming, Sex Advice
“I’m not a sidekick! I’m Beyoncé, not Kelly Rowland. If I’m on a motorcycle, I’m driving the motorcycle, not riding in that shitty little side motorcycle thingy for poor people and dogs.”
— Lindsay Jillian, You're the Worst, Season 1: Equally Dead Inside
Tagged: LOL, Narcissistic
“You thought you could master me. But I'm a person. I'm not one of your hobbies.”
— Lindsay, You're the Worst(TV Series 2014– )
Tagged: Break Up, Love Quarrel
“ Improv is the lowest form of comedy. That whole school of yours is just a bunch of actors so janky-looking, no one will write lines for them, so you have to make them up yourself.”
— Gretchen Cutler, You're the Worst, Season 2: There Is Not Currently a Problem
Tagged: Improv, comedy
“You're what this town calls a tweener. You're not hot enough to be the lead, and not fat enough to be the funny friend.”
— Gretchen Cutler, You're the Worst, Season 2: There Is Not Currently a Problem
Tagged: Tweener, fat, Skinny, Hot
“Dishonesty to spare someone’s feelings belittles everyone involved, but dishonesty to get free stuff is just smart economics!”
— Jimmy Shive-Overly, You're the Worst, Season 1: Insouciance
Tagged: broke, Dishonesty, Poverty Hacks
“Gretchen: You know, after I cleaned the fries off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty dark.

Jimmy: Don't tell me.

Gretchen: Okay. I won't. [pause] I love you, too.”
— Gretchen Cutler, You're the Worst, Season 2: The Heart Is a Dumb Dumb
Tagged: dark, I Love You
“Ew, books are gross.”
— Gretchen Cutler, You're the Worst, Season 3: The Last Sunday Funday
Tagged: Anti-Reading, Illiteracy, Gross, Books
“Why is it so hard to find someone to get close with?”
— Lindsay Jillian, You're the Worst, Season 4: There's Always a Back Door
Tagged: Social Anxiety, Alone, Friendless, Single, Looking For Love
“You know this is the best time, right? It is all downhill from here, for real. I mean, you do get hotter, and get to do or eat whatever you want, and that’s awesome, but things are new right now. And you feel things so hard and that is beautiful.”
— Gretchen Cutler, You're the Worst, Season 4: Not a Great Bet
Tagged: Youth, Growing Pains, Enjoy Your Life, Teenage life
“There comes a day when every relationship turns gross old and boring, like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner… You go home tonight and you dress up real slutty and you do butt stuff with your boyfriend for all of us who let love die to become ordinary.”
— Lindsay Jillian, You're the Worst, Season 2: The Sweater People
Tagged: LOL, Sex Advice, Relationship Advice, Marriage
“You're just not a great bet to invest too deeply in.”
— Heidi, You're the Worst, Season 4: Not a Great Bet
Tagged: Break Up Lines
“Ferris just wants to show Cameron a fun day for once in his pathetic little life, but Cameron acts like a whiny knob the whole time, subverting every attempt at fun with his passive-aggressive anxiety and relentless nay-saying, essentially ruining what might be Ferris's last day of freedom by being a miserable, agoraphobic, cockblocking enemy of fun!”
— Jimmy Shive-Overly, You're the Worst, Season 1: Insouciance
Tagged: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Cameron, Passive-Aggressive, Anxiety, Miserable, Agoraphobic, Cockblocking
“The vast majority of all human effort, however great or minuscule, ends in failure. So what are your options? You just admit pre-defeat that odds are you’re going to be right or you do it anyway. Maybe we’re a success regardless of the outcome, because we tried. Maybe there’s beauty in the struggle against near certain failure.”
— Jimmy Shive-Overly, You're the Worst(TV Series 2014– )
Tagged: Trying, perseverance, Failure, Never Give Up, Break Up
“In battle, we risk all for a taste of the immortal. In retreat, sure, we lose nothing, but what we gain is far worse than nothing: Ignominy. And shame. We don't give up because they make us. We give up because we're lazy! Or would rather drink and watch Treehouse Masters. Plus, no one tells my girl she can't go to their bar!”
— Jimmy Shive-Overly, You're the Worst, Season 3: The Last Sunday Funday
Tagged: Battle, Immortal, Ignominy, Shame, Treehouse Masters
“I know you had family shit and you couldn't be yourself around them, but you'd straight-up act like someone different depending on who you were with, then pretty soon there's no real Gretchen. We'd be best friends on Friday, and on the Monday you'd look right through me. You're just not a great bet to invest too deeply in. Everyone liked you or wanted you, but no one knew you.”
— Heidi, You're the Worst, Season 4: Not a Great Bet
Tagged: Family Shit, BFFs
“No, seriously, Jimmy, I feel such empathy for you, being a writer. I mean, everyone feels sorry for kids forced to work in the diamond mines in Sierra Leone, but where is the telethon for the noble writer? Bravely drinking coffee, spilling his blood to get his feelings out, filling two, maybe three whole pages before his heroic effort is cut short by the desire to watch Internet porn or get a snack! All of you! Sucking the air out of the room with your self-pity-riddled non-problems!”
— Gretchen Cutler, You're the Worst, Season 2: There Is Not Currently a Problem
Tagged: Sierra Leone, Writers, Coffee, Internet Porn
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