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Grace Hanson Quotes

Total quotes (12)

Grace Hanson

Grace Hanson

Character

Portrayed by Jane Fonda

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Total quotes (12)

If anybody is going to sit on Ryan Gosling's face it's going to be me.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Supernatural, Season 5: The End

Funny TV Shows Moms

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Soulmate! Now there there is a meaningless concept.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 4: The Lockdown

angry Bitter Soulmates Don't Exist soulmates Broken Heart

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You know, at my age I only have one speed: breakneck. Of course I don't call it that. Because it is a very real fear.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Secrets

old age One Speed Breakneck Fear Very Real Fear

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Frankie: She's having knee replacement surgery in two days, and her doctor wants her to do a full detox.

Grace: My Angels.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 4: The Lockdown

Pills Drugs What To Say When You Love Drugs

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Frankie: I'm an amateur sleuth with an unimpeachable track record.

Grace: Solving the mystery of who put Jolly Ranchers in the blender isn't much of a track record.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 4: The Tappys

Clever Dialogue You're Not A Spy

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Mark: Hey guys, be sure to keep the tea covered! There's a lot of star-constellation energy in there!

Grace: Makes total fucking sense! Thanks, Mark!

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 3: The Musical

Hippies Alternative Medicine Ironic

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Your struggle is an inspiration to all of us. Here are your Gucci loafers.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 4: The Expiration Date

Irony Rich People Struggles

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Hope is over-rated.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Road Trip

Hope Doubt Overrated Over It

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Would you mind taking me back home or setting me on fire?

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 4: The Lockdown

What To Say When You Really Want To Leave Somewhere Get Me Out Of Here!

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You play like an Amish kid!

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Test

Amish Diss kid Playing

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I just took muscle relaxors with peyote?

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Supernatural, Season 5: The End

Funny Drugs Mom TV Shows

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Grace: I don't know why she has to blow everything out of proportion. Ya know, I might have said some terrible things to her but I was drunk. I didn't mean it.

Babe: Oh. Really? Did you know in North Korea they use vodka as truth serum.

Grace: No they don't.

Babe: Then Dennis Rodman's a fucking liar.

— Grace Hanson (Jane Fonda), Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Party

vodka Alcohol Liar Truth Serum Drunk Regrets

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How do you befriend a squirrel? Just act like a nut.

— Mélanie Berliet, 50 Short Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.

— Mélanie Berliet, 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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I met some chess players in a hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they were. It was chess nuts bragging in an open foyer.

— porichoygupto, I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.

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I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest... It's his altar ego.

— GabeRothel, I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look I'm about to change.

— Mélanie Berliet, 50 Short Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

— Mélanie Berliet, 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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Why do chicken coups always have two doors? With four, they’d be chicken sedans.

— Mélanie Berliet, 50 Short Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away.

— Mélanie Berliet, 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

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People say smoking will give you diseases but how can they say that when it cures salmon.

— Fobibbly, via www.reddit.com

Funny Jokes Funny dad jokes Word Play

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I can name a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels. Potatoes. Bread.

— Jennifer Lawrence, In Depth: Jennifer Lawrence's Road to Oscar

eating food humor Funny Bread Love Food Yum

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Why did the bottle of ranch scream when the fridge door opened? He was dressing.

— Fileobrother, Why did the bottle of ranch scream when the fridge door opened?

ranch Scream fridge Open dressing Funny Examples of Wordplay

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Morty, you gotta flip 'em off. I told them it means 'peace among worlds.' How hilarious is that!

— Rick Sanchez (voice) (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 2: The Ricks Must Be Crazy

Middle Finger Peace Among Words Funny

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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

— Zach Galifianakis, 50+ Painfully Funny One Liners

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If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.

— Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

Funny Choosing Happiness Laughter Life

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I don’t get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say.

— Meg Rosoff, How I Live Now

Credit Resist Life Funny

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Rachel: 'Hey, Mon, look, I’m melting butter.'

Monica: 'That’s great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.'

— Rachel Green and Monica Geller, The One Where Ross Got High

Rachel Funny humor Monica Cooking

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A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.

— Mignon McLaughlin, Apercus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin

Sense of Humor Funny Laughing defense

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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

— Robin Williams, Robin Williams: Memorable lines from a stand-up comedian

Funny comedy rush hour amusing humor

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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

— Demetri Martin, Demetri Martin Jokes | Comedy Central Stand-Up | Demetri Martin: Worst Time for a Heart Attack

Funny Quotes Charades Family Game Night Worst Time To Have A Heart Attack Funny Jokes

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I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. — Arthur C. Clarke

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.

— Arthur C. Clarke, Arthur C. Clarke On Astrology

Astrology sagittarius skeptical Believe Funny sarcastic humor

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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.

— Mitch Hedberg, via twitter.com

Absurd tennis Sports Absurd clever Funny

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Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let’s go!

— April Ludgate (Aubrey Plaza), Parks and Recreation, Season 6: Second Chunce

humor Funny Power Pizza Knowledge Money

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No one grinds harder than the sun though. Straight up, no sick days, and shining 24/7.

— YA BOY BILL NYE, via twitter.com

Sun Funny Jokes Quote of the Moment

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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, but I'll take a peanut if you have any.

— dagodon, Shy 6 year old needs your knock knock jokes! • /r/Jokes

Funny joke knock knock knock knock jokes

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Ladies, if an obnoxious guy keeps insisting you give him your number, take his phone like you're adding your info, then Venmo yourself $4000

— Rob Fee, via twitter.com

Funny Tweets Hysterical Quotes Funny Quotes Best Funny Quotes Venmo Annoying Guys Phone Number How To Deal With Assholes Funny

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers. — Jack Handey

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

— Jack Handey, What is your favorite one-liner joke? • /r/AskReddit

Funny Quotes Family Death Terrible Jokes Funny Dark Jokes

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The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

— Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

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Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother.

— Anonymous, via Tumblr

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If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

— Phoebe Buffay, The One With Ross's Denial

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First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault.

Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault.

Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.

— Ross Geller, The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel

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You're over me? When were you under me?

— Ross Geller, The One Where Ross Finds Out

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Monica: 'Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.'

Chandler: 'Uh, so how many cameras are actually on you?'

— Chandler Bing and Monica Geller, The One With The Prom Video

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