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Dr. Gregory House Quotes

Total quotes: 39
“You took a chance, you did something great. You were wrong, but it was still great. You should feel great that it was great. You should feel like crap that it was wrong.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: DNR
Tagged: Chance, Great, Wrong, Crap, Feelings
“We were both wrong, not equally wrong. You were at least six more wronger than me.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 4: Frozen
Tagged: humor, Being wrong
“Dr. Allison Cameron: Men should grow up.

Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Occam's Razor
Tagged: Men, Dogs, habits, Sassy, sarcastic, Grow Up
“Dr. Robert Chase: The hematoma caused the coma.

Dr. Gregory House: That's a catchy diagnosis. You could dance to that.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Mob Rules
Tagged: Coma, catchy, Rhyme, Dancing, Diagnosis
“I am not warm and fuzzy and you are basically a stuffed animal made by grandma.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Role Model
Tagged: Warm, fuzzy, stuffed animal, Metaphor Examples, Grandma, Contrast
“Love and happiness are nothing but distractions.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 7: Recession Proof
Tagged: Love, Happiness, Life, Distractions, Reality
“There's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me' though, if you jumble it up.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: DNR
Tagged: Teamwork, Collaboration, Cooperation, humor, Sarcasm
“You talk to God, you're religious; God talks to you, you're psychotic.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 2: House vs. God
Tagged: Religion, God, Sanity, Insanity
“It is in the nature of medicine, that you are gonna screw up. You are gonna kill someone. If you can't handle that reality, pick another profession or finish medical school and teach.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Three Stories
Tagged: Medicine, Death, Dying Art, screw up, Reality, medical school, Teaching
“Patient: Times changes everything.

House: That's what people say. It's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 3: One Day, One Room
Tagged: Time, Change, Taking Action, Self-Direction
“Just because you don't know what the right answer is, maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is doesn't make your answer right or even okay. It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Three Stories
Tagged: Right, Answer, Okay, simpler, Wrong
“If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 4: The Right Stuff
Tagged: Religion, Religious People, Reason, Intellect
“The problem is, the world doesn't work that way just because you want it to.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Heavy
Tagged: World, Life, Truth
“Jobs are not being destroyed they are being relocated. The fact that you see that as inherently bad means that you are an irrational patriot. To put it another way: a patriot.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 8: Risky Business
Tagged: Jobs, Patriotism, Patriotic, Blind Patriotism
“Lies are like children: they're hard work, but it's worth it because the future depends on them.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 4: It's a Wonderful Lie
Tagged: Lies, lying, Children, The future, humor, Sarcasm
“You want to know how two chemicals interact, do you ask them? No, they're going to lie through their lying little teeth. Throw them in a beaker and apply heat.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Cursed
Tagged: humor, Sarcasm, Honesty, lying, Dishonesty, Lies, Telling The Truth, pressure, Mankind, The Human Condition
“Figuring out who people are takes time. And it takes twice as much time if they're trying to impress you.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 6: Private Lives
Tagged: People, Human Nature, Personality
“If you wanted fair, you chose the wrong job, the wrong profession, the wrong species.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 4: Ugly
Tagged: fair, Human Condition, Mankind
“You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Love Hurts
Tagged: Delusion, Perfect, fix everything
“Ramona: Hi. I'm having vaginal pain.

Dr. Gregory House: Pleasure to meet you.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Love Hurts
Tagged: Vaginal Pain, Introductions, Pleasure, Meeting Someone
“Dr. James Wilson: Hey, you have to treat this like a regular case. Be yourself: cold, uncaring, distant.

Dr. Gregory House: Please, don't put me on a pedestal.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Honeymoon
Tagged: regular case, cold, normal, uncaring, distant, Sassy, Sarcastic Depression, Pedestal
“People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 6: Instant Karma
Tagged: deserving, humanity, People, Fate, Destiny, Random Chance
“Is a lie a lie if everybody knows it's a lie?”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Fidelity
Tagged: Lie, Questions, Pondering, Knowledge, lying
“You know what's worse than useless? Useless and oblivious.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Three Stories
Tagged: useles, oblivious, Worse
“Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 2: Humpty Dumpty
Tagged: Jerk, People, Sex, I'm That good
“If you're dying, suddenly everybody loves you.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 2: Autopsy
Tagged: Death, Dying, Compassion, The Human Condition
“Nobel invented dynamite, I won't accept his blood money.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 2: TB or Not TB
Tagged: Nobel Prize, humor
“Religion is the placebo of the masses.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 5: Unfaithful
Tagged: Religion, Placebo
“Reality is almost always wrong.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Occam's Razor
Tagged: Reality, Perception
“Truth begins in lies.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Truth, Lies
“If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Honeymoon
Tagged: Sincerity, fake
“The most successful marriages are based on lies.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Maternity
Tagged: Marriage, Lies, Relationships
“Dr. Eric Foreman: 10-year-olds do not have heart attacks. It's got to be a mistake.

Dr. Gregory House: Right. The simplest explanation is she's a 40-year-old lying about her age. Maybe an actress trying to hang on”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Heavy
Tagged: Heart Attack, mistake, Sassy, lying about age, actress, Age, sarcastic
“There is a code: Bros before hoes, man.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 2: Acceptance
Tagged: Code, Men, brothers, Women, Bros before hoes
“If nobody hates you, you're doing something wrong.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 4: Games
Tagged: Hatred, Likeability
“There are three choices in this life: be good, get good, or give up.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 4: Games
Tagged: Life, Self-improvement, Keeping Up, Giving Up, Challenge
“I need thirty-six Vicodin and change for a dollar.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Drugs, Vicodin, Change, dollar
“Dr. Eric Foreman: He probably just moved. Nobody stays perfectly still for their entire MRI.

Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 1: Paternity
Tagged: MRI, Restless, sarcastic, Brain, comfortable
“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”
— Dr. Gregory House, House, Season 2: Humpty Dumpty
Tagged: bonus, points, Care, Acting, Sarcasm
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