All Quotes tagged Serial Killers(183)

Hello from the gutters of N.Y.C. which are filled with dog manure, vomit, stale wine, urine and blood. Hello from the sewers of N.Y.C. which swallow up these delicacies when they are washed away by the sweeper trucks. Hello from the cracks in the sidewalks of N.Y.C. and from the ants that dwell in these cracks and feed in the dried blood of the dead that has settled into the cracks. J.B., I'm just dropping you a line to let you know that I appreciate your interest in those recent and horrendous .44 killings. I also want to tell you that I read your column daily and I find it quite informative. Tell me Jim, what will you have for July twenty-ninth? You can forget about me if you like because I don't care for publicity. However you must not forget Donna Lauria and you cannot let the people forget her either. She was a very, very sweet girl but Sam's a thirsty lad and he won't let me stop killing until he gets his fill of blood. Mr. Breslin, sir, don't think that because you haven't heard from me for a while that I went to sleep. No, rather, I am still here. Like a spirit roaming the night. Thirsty, hungry, seldom stopping to rest; anxious to please Sam. I love my work. Now, the void has been filled. Perhaps we shall meet face to face someday or perhaps I will be blown away by cops with smoking .38's. Whatever, if I shall be fortunate enough to meet you I will tell you all about Sam if you like and I will introduce you to him. His name is ‘Sam the terrible.’ Not knowing what the future holds I shall say farewell and I will see you at the next job. Or should I say you will see my handiwork at the next job?

I am deeply hurt by your calling me a weman-hater. I am not. But I am a monster. I am the ‘son of Sam’. I am a little brat. When father Sam gets drunk he gets mean. He beats our family. Sometimes he ties me up to the back of the house. Other times he locks me in the garage. Sam loves to drink blood. ‘Go out and kills’ commands father Sam. Behind our house some rest. Mostly young - raped and slaughtered - their blood drained - just bones now. Pap Sam keeps me locked in the attic too. I can't get out but I look out the attic window and watch the world go by. I feel like an outsider. I am on a different wavelength then everybody else - programmed to kill. However, to stop me you must kill me. Attention all police: shoot me first - shoot to kill or else keep out of my way or you will die. Papa Sam is old now. He needs some blood to preserve his youth. He has too many heart attacks. ‘Ugh, me hoot, it hurts, sonny boy.’ I miss my pretty princess most of all. She's resting in our ladies house. But i'll see her soon. I am the ‘monster’ – ‘Beelzebub’ - the chubby behemouth. I love to hunt. Prowling the streets looking for fair game - tasty meat. The wemon of Queens are prettiest of all. I must be the water they drink. I live for the hunt - my life. Blood for papa. Mr. Borelli, sir, I don't want to kill any more. No sur, no more but I must, ‘honour thy father’. I want to make love to the world. I love people. I don't belong on earth. Return me to yahoos. To the people of Queens, I love you. And i want to wish all of you a happy Easter. May God bless you in this life and in the next. And for now I say goodbye and goodnight. Police: Let me haunt you with these words: I'll be back. I'll be back. To be interpreted as - bang, bang, bang, bang - ugh. Yours in murder, Mr. Monster.

Hello there, bitch. Are you comfortable right now? I doubt it. Wrists and ankles chained. Gagged. Probably blindfolded. You are disoriented and scared, too, I would imagine. Perfectly normal, under the circumstances. For a little while, at least, you need to get your shit together and listen to this tape. It is very relevant to your situation. I’m going to tell you, in detail, why you have been kidnapped, what’s going to happen to you and how long you’ll be here.

I don’t know the details of your capture, because this tape is being created July 23rd, 1993 as a general advisory tape for future female captives. The information I’m going to give you is based on my experience dealing with captives over a period of several years. If, at a future date, there are any major changes in our procedures, the tape will be upgraded.

Now, you are obviously here against your will, totally helpless, don’t know where you’re at, don’t know what’s gonna happen to you. You’re very scared or very pissed off. I’m sure that you’ve already tried to get your wrists and ankles loose, and know you can’t. Now you’re just waiting to see what’s gonna happen next. You probably think you’re gonna be raped and you’re fuckin’ sure right about that. Our primary interest is in what you’ve got between your legs. You’ll be raped thoroughly and repeatedly, in every hole you’ve got. Because, basically, you’ve been snatched and brought here for us to train and use as a sex slave. Sound kind of far out? Well, I suppose it is to the uninitiated, but we do it all the time. It’s gonna take a lot of adjustment on your part, and you’re not gonna like it a fuckin’ bit. But I don’t give a big rat’s ass about that. It’s not like you’re gonna have any choice about the matter.

You’ve been taken by force, and you’re going to be kept and used by force. What all this amounts to is that you’re gonna be kept naked and chained up like an animal, to be used and abused any time we want to, any way that we want to. And you might as well start gettin’ used to it, because you’re gonna be kept here and used until such time as we get tired of fuckin’ around with you . And we will, eventually, in a month or two, maybe three. It’s no big deal. My lady friend and I have been keeping sex slaves for years. We both have kinky hang-ups involving rape, dungeon games, etc. We’ve found that it is extremely convenient to keep one or two female captives available constantly to, uh, satisfy our particular needs.

We are very selective when we snatch a girl to use for these purposes. It goes without saying that you have a fine body and you’re probably young, maybe very young. Because, for our purposes, we prefer to snatch girls in the early to mid teens, sexually developed, but still small bodied, scared shitless, easy to handle and easy to train, and they usually have tight little pussies and assholes. They make perfect slaves. Any time that we go on a hunting trip, if we can’t find a little teenager, we usually start hittin’ the gay bars, look for a well-built, big-titted lesbian. I thoroughly enjoy rapin’ and screwin’ around with lesbians, and there’s not as much danger of them carrying a sexually transmitted disease. And I don’t like usin’ condoms. Also, even though they’re a little older, unless they’ve been playing with dildos a lot, they still have tight holes between their legs, like the younger girls. If we can’t find a lesbian that we want, we snatch anything that is young, clean and well built.

We very seldom come back emptyhanded, cause there’s plenty of bitches out there to choose from. And, with a little practice in deception, most of em’ is very easy to get, with little risk. At this point, it makes little difference what category you fall into. You’re here and we’re gonna make the most of it. You’re going to be kept in a hidden slave room. It is relatively sound proof, escape proof, and it is completely stocked with devices and equipment to satisfy our sexual fetishes and deviations. There may or may not be another girl in the room. Occasionally, for variety, we like to keep two slaves at the same time. In either case, as the new girl, you’ll definitely be getting the most attention for a while.

Now, as I said earlier, you’re going to be kept like an animal. I guess I been doin’ this too long. I’ve been rapin’ bitches ever since I was old enough to jerk off, and tie little girls’ hands behind their back. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a pretty piece of meat, to be used and exploited. I don’t give a flyin’ fuck about your mind or how you feel about this situation. You may be married, have a kid or two, boyfriend, girlfriend, a job, car payment. Fuck it. I don’t give a rat’s ass about any of that, and I don’t want to hear about it. It’s something you’re gonna have to deal with after you’re turned loose.

I make it a point never to like a slave and I fuckin’ sure don’t have any respect for you. Here, your status is no more than that of one of the dogs, or of one of the animals out in the barn. Your only value to us is the fact that you have an attractive, usable body. And, like the rest of our animals, you will be fed and watered, kept in good physical condition, kept reasonably clean and allowed to use the toilet when necessary. In return, you’re gonna be used hard, especially during your first few days while you’re new and fresh. You’re gonna be kept chained in a variety of different positions, usually with your legs or knees forced wide apart.




Your pussy and asshole is gonna get a real workout. Especially your asshole, because I’m into anal sex. Also, both of those holes are going to be subjected to a lotta use with some rather large dildos, among other things. And it goes without sayin, that there’s gonna be a lot of oral sex. On numerous occasions, you’re gonna be forced to suck cock and eat pussy until your jaws ache and your tongue is sore. You may not like it, but you’re fuckin’ sure gonna do it. And that’s the easy part. Our fetishes and hang-ups include stringent bondage, dungeon games, a little sadism, nothing serious but uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Just a few little hang-ups that we like to use when we’re gettin’ off on a bitch.

Heh, heh. If you’re young teeny bopper, and ignorant about fetishes and deviations, you’re about to get an enlightening crash course in sex. Who knows, you may like some of it. It happens, occasionally. If we wanna take the time and trouble, even under these conditions, most bitches can be brought to orgasm. Now I’ve already told you that you’re gonna be here a month or two, or maybe three, if you keep us turned on. If it’s up to my lady, we’d keep you indefinitely.

She says it’s just as much fun and less risky. But personally, I like variety. A fresh pussy, now and then, to play with. We take four or five different girls each year, depending on our urges and sometimes accidental encounters. Basically, I guess we are like predators. We’re always lookin’. Occasionally, some sweet little thing will be broke down on the side of the road, walkin’, bicyclin’, joggin’. Anytime an opportunity like that presents itself, and it’s not too risky, we’ll grab her. Even if we’ve already got a captive in the playroom. Variety is definitely the spice of life.

Now I’m sure that you’re a great little piece of ass and you’re gonna be a lot of fun to play with, but I will get tired of you eventually. If I killed every bitch that we kidnapped, there’d be bodies strung all over the country. And besides, I don’t like killin’ a girl, unless it is absolutely necessary. So I’ve devised a safe, alternate method of disposal. I had plenty of bitches to practice on over the years, so I’ve pretty well got it down pat. And I enjoy doin it. I get off on mind games. After we get completely through with you, you’re gonna be drugged up real heavy, with a combination of Sodium Pentothal and Phenobarbital. They are both hypnotic drugs that will make you extremely susceptible to hypnosis, autohypnosis and hypnotic suggestion.

You’re gonna be kept drugged a couple of days, while I play with your mind. By the time I get through brainwashing you, you’re not gonna remember a fuckin’ thing about this little adventure. You won’t remember this place, us, or what has happened to you. There won’t be any DNA evidence, because you’ll be bathed, and both holes between your legs will be thoroughly flushed out. You’ll be dressed, sedated, and turned loose on some country road, bruised, heh, sore all over, but nothing that won’t heal up in a week or two. The thought of being brainwashed may not be appealing to you, but we been doin’ it a long time and it works. And it’s the lesser of two evils. I’m sure that you would prefer that, in lieu of being strangled or having your throat cut.

Okay, undoubtedly, somebody’s gonna be lookin’ for you. There may or may not be a missing persons report. But nobody’s gonna be lookin’ for you here. They don’t have any idea where you’re at. You don’t even know where you’re at. We’re always very careful about that. There are not gonna be any knights in shining armor coming to rescue you. You are strictly on your own and, under the circumstances, I bet that is a scary thought. If there is another girl in the room, she won’t be able to help you either. Because she’s gonna be in the same position you’re in. As for escaping, I’m sure you’ll try to figure out a way. That’s human nature. But it’s not hardly even worth talking about here. It would not be prudent on our part to have you running around in the woods screamin’ rape. It would be an embarrassment, to say the least.

Consequently, you are gonna be kept in an environment that is even more secure than a prison cell. If it has not already been done, very shortly a steel collar is going to be padlocked around your neck. It has a long, heavy chain that is padlocked to a ring in the floor. The collar will never be removed, until you are turned loose. It’s a permanent fixture. The hidden playroom, where you’re gonna be kept, has steel walls, floor and ceiling. It is virtually soundproof and has a steel door with two keyed locks. The hinges are welded on and there are two heavy deadbolts on the outside. The room is totally escape proof, even with tools.

Anytime that you are left unattended in the room, your wrists will be chained and there are electronic sensors to, uh, let us know if you move around too much. And if that’s not enough, there is a closed-circuit TV system with a surveillance camera. It’s wired to the main TV in the living room so we can check you once in awhile, or just set and watch you for the fun of it. Electronics is a wonderful thing. Expensive, but hell, everything in the room is expensive, and damn well worth it. If everybody knew how much fun it was to keep a sex slave, half the women would be chained up in somebody’s basement."

Anyway, we’ve had a lot of practice at this and, uh, we’re not real concerned about you escaping. You’re fuckin’ sure not gonna go anywhere. Now if you’re not already naked, you soon will be. Your clothing will be bagged up and saved until such time as we decide to turn you loose. As far as being naked goes, you might as well get used to it. For what you are gonna be used for, clothing would just be in the way. Besides, I like watching a naked woman’s body, all of it, whether it be in a room or on the TV set. As I’ve already said, you’ll be fed and watered on a regular basis. Not as much of either as you’re used to, I’m sure, but enough to keep you healthy. You’ll only be fed once a day, like the rest of the animals. And during the first few days, until you adjust to it and your stomach shrinks up, you’re going to feel a little weak and you’ll be hungry all the time.

It won’t take long, three or four days. And during the first few days, until you adjust to the environment, I prefer to keep you in a weakened condition anyway. Now you already know that you’ve been kidnapped and brought here for us to train and use as a sex slave. I realize that being abducted and being forced into sexual slavery is a hard pill to swallow. Some girls really have a lot of trouble with it and I’m sure that you will, to a certain extent. But face it, you can’t get away, you can’t say no. You’re gonna be naked all the time. You won’t be able to struggle or resist. You’re gonna have to lay there and take it, good or bad, no matter what is being done to you. A scary thought? Yes, but there are no options.

Nothing that you can say or do will change the fact that it’s going to happen. Many girls beg and plead. Almost all of ‘em cry a lot, especially during the first three or four days. And some of ‘em scream and threaten. But I have a poster on the wall in the playroom that says it all. If they’re worth takin’, they’re worth keepin’. And I’m going to tell you, just so you know, since you are being kept here against your will, we will never trust anything you say, do or promise. You are a potential threat to us and you will always be treated as such. On numerous occasions, bitches have told me that they’d do anything I wanted ‘em to do, if I’d just take the chains off. I’ve been offered ransom money and I’ve even had girls tell me they liked it. But I like to use the chains, money’s not that important and masochists are rare as hell.

Heh, heh, I wonder what your scam’s gonna be. Not anything that I haven’t heard before, I bet, if you get a chance to talk at all. Well let’s change the subject, a little bit. You already know that, for the most part, you’re gonna be kept in the playroom. But, once in awhile, we like to take a captive into the bedroom, in chains of course. Also, we have a couple of real close friends that we party with once in awhile. They know about our hang-ups and don’t have any problem with fuckin’ a slave. You may be required to service them occasionally. But that’s an easy one, for the most part, just fuckin’ and suckin’. They don’t get into the heavier stuff. However, when we have a party, sometimes I like to put on a little show that you won’t like at all. You’ll be taken into the living room and put on the floor on your hands and knees, naked. Your wrists, ankles, knees and hips will be strapped to a metal frame to hold your body in that position.

The frame is designed for doggie fuckin’, your ass up in the air, sex organs exposed, your tits hangin’ down on each side of a metal support bar, knees spread about twelve inches, position similar to that of a bitch dog in heat, right in the middle of the floor so we can set on the couch and in chairs, and watch. I’m going to rub canine breeder’s musk on your back, the back of your neck, and on your sex organs. Now I have three dogs. All of ‘em’s male, cause I don’t need any fuckin’ pups. One of ‘em is a very large German shepherd that is always horny, and he loves it when I bring him in the house to fuck a woman. After I let him in the house, he’ll sniff around you a little bit and, within a minute, he’ll be mounting you.

There’s about a 50–50 chance which hole he’ll get his penis into, but it doesn’t seem to bother him whether it’s the pussy or the asshole. His penis is pretty thin. It goes in easy, but it’s about ten inches long and when he gets completely excited, it gets a hell of a knot right in the middle of it. Now I’ve had slaves tell me that it feels like they got a baseball inside of ‘em. It doesn’t take long. He’s gonna hump you real fast for about three or four minutes. And while he’s doin’ it, he’ll wrap his front legs around your chest to hold himself in position. And, in the process, he’ll probably scratch your tits up a little bit, with his claws. After he gets through, he usually turns around and tries to pull out. Oh, he’ll jerk a little, not much, mostly just steady pressure. And I’ve timed it.

The knot will usually shrink up enough to come outta your pussy in about three minutes. If he’s in your asshole, about five minutes. I don’t use the dog all that often, but I don’t deprive him of pussy either. There’s no doubt that he’s going to be on you a few times while you’re here, because I like watching it. And any time it’s just you, me and the dog, it will always be in your butt. The dog knot on his penis is big and extremely uncomfortable when he’s, uh, pushing it back and forth way up in her anus.

I really enjoy watching a girl wiggle, jerk and squirm around while he’s doing it. Consequently, I give him a little, uh, assistance getting it in the right hole. Now if you think all of this stuff is sick and depraved, you haven’t seen anything yet. This is a different world. Among our small circle of friends, little things like rape, kidnapping, doggie fucking, stuff like that, are every-day occurrences. Matter of course. Here, anything can happen and often does. We like livin’ in the mountains, because it’s quiet, secluded, private and everybody minds their own business.

The only close house belongs to our friends and they don’t hear or see anything. Okay, let’s talk about, uh, your training, the rules and punishment. Here, you are a slave and discipline is extremely strict. You’re gonna be given a set of rules, things you can and cannot do, and you will learn to comply because each time you violate a rule, you will be punished. As soon as each rule is told to you, it will become law as far as you’re concerned. And you know what’s gonna happen every time you fuck up. We’ll use a couple of methods of punishment. A whip is an excellent training aid, so is an electro shock machine. Any time you get out of line, one or both will be used on your body and I assure you, it will not be pleasant.

There is not many rules and they’re very easy to remember. But you’re gonna make mistakes. Every slave does. I don’t like repeat offenders. It gets me very upset. During the first few hours, the first time you violate a certain rule [tape recording skips here] a teaching process. The second time you violate the same rule, you’ll be lightly punished. And the third time you violate it, it’s gonna be full punishment. After the first day, we won’t cut you any slack at all. We will expect total obedience. Now let’s start this off right. You are a slave. You don’t realize it yet, but you will eventually. I’m your master and the lady is your mistress.

You will be totally docile. You’ll be very quiet and you’ll speak only when spoken to. Never initiate conversation. Keep your mouth shut. Any time that you are spoken to, you will be required to respond and it will be with proper speech. Remember that we are in the dungeon game and as long as you are here, it’s the only game in town. Any time that you are asked a question where a yes or no answer is required, you will respond by saying, ‘yes, master; no,mistress; no, master; etcetera.’ You will show proper respect. Having to use the word master or mistress may sound funny, petty or vain to you, but that’s all right. If you choose not to do it, you can laugh while you’re being whipped or when your body is convulsing under the electroshock machine. You will respond to commands without protest or resistance.

Do exactly what you’re told, nothing else. Remember that here you are a slave and failure to respond to a command will definitely get you in trouble. If I decide to rape you in your pussy or in your asshole, don’t resist or struggle. When I tell you to spread your legs, or to pull em back, you say, ‘yes, master’ and obey the command, cause to do anything less will get you beaten. If I tell you I want to be sucked off, you say, ‘yes, master’ and open your mouth. I love oral sex, if it’s done right. You’re going to be taught exactly the way I like it.

How to use your lips and tongue. We’ll be practicing a lot and each time, when I get ready to come, I’m going to push my penis down your throat and keep it there until I get through squirtin’. I’m not gonna choke you, but you need to learn to hold your breath and to swallow every bit of the sperm.

If I see one drop leaking out of your mouth, I’m gonna punish you. Basically, it’s gonna be the same with your mistress. If she demands oral sex, you say yes mistress and respond. She also will teach you exactly the way she likes it. And you will keep using your tongue on her pussy until she gets off. Now, I can’t foresee what kind of bitch you’re gonna be, how you feel about oral sex or any of that shit. But I am gonna tell you this. If, during oral sex or any other time, you should bite one of us, I’m going to cut on you a little bit. I’ll cut your nipple off for a starter and if it’s a bad bite, I’ll cut your tit off, too.

That may sound harsh, but your teeth are serious weapons and we’re not gonna tolerate any shit from you. I have been bitten and I’ve cut off nipples, so don’t fuck around. That’s enough said about that. Remember the commands, yes, master; no, mistress. If your mistress should come into the room and tells you to get down on the floor or lay down on the floor, you say, ‘yes, mistress’ and then lay down on the floor exactly the way she told you to do. If she tells you to pull your knees up, you say, ‘yes, mistress’ and pull your knees up. If she tells you to spread your knees, you say, ‘yes, mistress’ and spread ‘em, wide apart and hold them there so she can play with your pussy, use dildos or whatever.

A slave must always obey every command and offer no resistance. Remember that. Never say no unless it’s justified, like in response to a question. If either one, or both of us, decide to put you in a different bondage position, the chains will be taken off the various parts of your body, wrists and ankles, never off of your neck. Don’t kick, struggle or resist in any way.

If you do, you’re going to be in a world of hurt. If you’re told to hold your leg out so a chain can be attached to your ankle, you say, ‘yes, master’ or ‘yes, mistress,’ and hold your leg out. For repeated rule violations, the punishments are eventually gonna become harsh and even brutal and you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself. Now I should also tell you that there’s gonna be times when the whip and electroshock is used not for punishment, but for our pleasure. The difference will be that when it’s done for pleasure, the whip strokes will be much lighter.

They’ll sting like hell, but they won’t have that burning sensation and leave welts that hurt for hours. As for the electroshock machine, the voltage will be turned down. It won’t be that harsh electricity that, uh, makes your body convulse and jerk all over the table. You haven’t experienced any of that yet, but I’m sure that you will. To avoid these punishments you’re gonna have to be very quiet, very docile, and very obedient and I imagine that’s gonna be very hard for you to do. You’ll probably try us a few times, to see if this is real. Heh, heh, most captives do. If you want to, be my guest, because it’s all part of the game. Now let’s discuss talking. You cannot talk, you cannot speak unless you’ve been given permission. I believe that rule gets more bitches in trouble than anything else, because they can’t keep their damn mouth shut.

They always wanna whine, beg, plead, try to talk me into turning ’em loose. I used to listen to it. I don’t anymore. I enjoy blessed silence. Around here, your mouth is for sucking, not talking. Around here, the only time I ever want to hear you initiate speech is if you have to use the restroom, and you will learn to do it properly. Master, may I please use the restroom, or mistress, may I please use the restroom. In response, we will ask you what you need to do. If you have to pee, you say, ‘pee, master’ or ‘pee, mistress.’ If you have to crap, you say,“crap, master,’ or ‘crap, mistress.’ It will be done that way because, quite often, you will be in heavy restraints, a lot of straps on your body, chains on your wrists and ankles, a bunch of stuff that’s, uh, time consuming and hard to get loose. If you have to pee, we’ll use a bed pan. If you have to shit, you may have to hold it awhile.

Whatever the case, we need to know. And you definitely need to tell us. Because if you make a mess, you’re going to be punished and you have to clean it up. Now, I’ve covered the basics pretty thoroughly. You know to keep your mouth shut and not try to talk. You know the proper way to say master or mistress and you know how you’re expected to act and respond to commands. If you can learn to do all of that, there will not be a great deal of punishment. We’ll get along pretty good."

There’s going to be a lot of other things done to your body besides just fuckin’ and suckin’. But for that, for the most part, you’ll either be in stringent bondage, or strapped down on a gynecology table. You won’t be able to struggle or resist anyway. Now you’re going to be required to learn fast. Training is not one of my favorite things to do and I prefer fucking around with a slave that’s already trained. I’ve already given you the basics, so there is not that much to learn. But until you accept the fact that you are a slave, you’re gonna have problems with it.

Remember that each time you fuck up, you are gonna be punished. And after it’s happened a few times, you’re really gonna dread it. Some girls tend to be a little rebellious. I sure as hell wouldn’t advise that, cause it will get you in serious trouble. Here, you definitely need to be docile. You’re not in any position to be otherwise. We’ve done this so many times that we know exactly what we like to do with a slave. We don’t go out of our way to brutalize a girl. If you don’t give us any trouble, we won’t do any more to your body than is necessary to satisfy our sexual needs.

Initially, when we’ve got a new girl in the playroom, we’re kinda like a kid with a new toy. You are fresh and exciting and we’re gonna spend a lot of time playing with you. Later, after the newness wears off, things will settle into something of a routine. We’ll only be spending three or four hours each day in the playroom. Your gonna have a lot of free time to rest, sleep, watch TV, or whatever. If you’re acting halfway decent, you’ll be left in a reasonably comfortable position so you can relax. As far as sex goes, your mistress is going to want her pussy eaten a couple of times a day.

For my part, I like getting’ off in a slave twice and sometimes three times each day, usually in her mouth or in her asshole. Don’t get me wrong. I’m gonna be stickin’ my dick in your cunt once in awhile, too. But for the most part when I use that hole, it’s going to be with, uh, large dildos. We’re going to be in and out of the room several times each day, but you will have a lot of free time. Now I gotta tell you that there’s another side to the coin. Once in awhile we get a bitch that is resentful, rebellious, won’t mind, uncooperative.

That doesn’t work here. I’m sure that you realize you’re on thin ice. As long as you have chains on your body, don’t try either one of us. It is an extremely dangerous thing to do because, if necessary, I’m capable of doing things to your body and torturing you in ways that you can’t even imagine. The playroom is equipped with a full set of surgical instruments which I have had occasion to use and will again, as necessary. I’ve already told you what’ll happen if you bite. To be completely safe here, you have to be docile. If you should accidentally, or otherwise, hurt, scratch or kick either one of us, you could be in very serious trouble. I’m sure that you want to survive this experience, and I want you to also. But you are expendable and it’s no big deal to go out and snatch a replacement. It may sound harsh and cold, but if you give us too much trouble, or if you pose any kind of a threat to us, I won’t have any qualms at all about slicing your throat. Like I said before, I don’t like killin’ the girls that we bring here, but occasionally things happen. What can I say? I would really hate to have to dump that pretty little body off in a canyon somewhere, to rot. I’m not trying to scare you. That’s just the way it is.


Be nice. Keep your mouth shut, learn the rules and survive. We are into S&M and you’re going to be hurt a little, but everything we do to a girl is designed to cause pain, not injury. There is a big difference. No matter how painful it is, nothing that we plan to do to your body will cause any serious or permanent damage. I’m not lying to you or trying to make it sound easier, because that would be pointless. I’m just telling it like it is. That’s the way we do things and that’s the way it’s gonna be, unless we have problems with you.

I’ve already told you that you’re gonna be whipped lightly, for pleasure. The electroshock will be used lightly, for pleasure. Most of the other nasty little things that we’re going to do, for the most part, will be done on your breasts, nipples and between your legs. The lady is fortunate. She can get off any time. She just likes to be a little sadistic with a slave once in awhile. In my case, I cannot get off with a girl unless I hurt her first. That’s basically the reason I’m into rape and slavery, and the reason that you’re going to be subjected to acertain amount of pain. Mostly what we do to a captive is stick needles in her breasts and through her nipples, through her cunt lips, through her clit, and I’m into stretching certain things. Clamps, with long nylon cords on each one, will occasionally be put on your cunt lips so your pussy can be kept pulled open, and they’re also going to be attached to your nipples.

The nylon cords will be put through ceiling rings, or rings on each side of the table, and pulled very tight to stretch your tits. Occasionally, your clit will also be clamped and stretched and we’re gonna be using dildos. The dildos are gonna be used a lot, more than anything else, and consequently, what you’re going to have the most trouble with. Many of them are long, very large in diameter and very painful while they’re being forced in.

Your mistress will use them in your pussy and I like to use them in both holes. Actually, that pretty well covers it. There’s gonna be a few other little things that we do. Nothing of any greater consequence and not often, just variety. As far as needles goes, they’ll always be sterilized. The clamps are gonna hurt like a motherfucker, but they won’t cause any permanent injury. They don’t even break the skin. As far as the dildos go, both of those holes between your legs will stretch a hell of a lot. It’ll hurt, but they’ll stretch. Your pussy is designed for a baby to come out of and we won’t be using anything bigger than that. The really large ones will not be used in your butt. I don’t wanna stretch that hole so big that it’s not usable for fucking.

Anyway, that pretty well covers that part of it. Let’s see, what have I missed? Let’s talk about screaming. Every once in a while we get a screamer. Some bitch that just wants to scream all the time. And it definitely gets ’em in trouble, because it gets on my nerves. Very shortly, that gag is going to be removed. We live in an isolated area, so screaming is not usually a problem. In the playroom it’s not much of a problem at all because of the soundproofing. But it irritates the fuck out of me. There is a time and a place. Occasionally I like to hear a bitch scream, but usually not.

The only thing that screaming is gonna get you around here is a lot of punishment. And, if you do it habitually, I will just keep a ball gag in your mouth all the time. It’ll only be taken out for you to eat and suck. I’ve already told you about talking. Don’t try to initiate a conversation. Don’t say anything. You will be punished. If you’re a smoker, now’s a good time to quit. I’m not gonna buy your cigarettes and if you ask for one, the only thing you’re gonna get is a few whip marks. Remember, when you’re asked a question, you say, ‘yes, master’ or ‘no, master.’ If you have to go to the restroom, it is ‘master,’ or ‘mistress,’ may I please go to the restroom. Any time that you are given a command, always acknowledge the order verbally, ‘yes, master,’ and then obey the order. That’s not too difficult.

A bright little thing like you should be able to learn it real fast. There are gonna be times when you are under a stress, a certain amount of stress and you may forget. But that’s no excuse. Each time you fuck up, you are gonna be punished. After you’re here a few days, it’ll eventually become automatic and there’ll no longer be a problem. I realize that, after awhile, when I take that gag off, you are really gonna want to try to talk to me, talk me into turning you loose and such. It’s because, with your wrists and ankles chained, your mouth is the only defense you have. But don’t do it. It won’t work and all it will bring is punishment.

Your first day here is not gonna be too difficult. There won’t be any serious dungeon games. Your training has already been initiated, so you’ll have to be very careful what you say and how you act. But for the most part, there’s gonna be a little exploring. We will become very familiar with your body, and do a little fuckin’ and suckin’. We may tease you a little bit with some of our more humane toys, but nothing serious.

It’s gonna be kind of an adjustment period. Don’t say anything. Don’t struggle or resist, no matter what we do, because we are going to start enforcing the rules immediately. Now later, I’m gonna be asking you a bunch of questions. Since I’m gonna be caring for your body for the next month or two, or three, there are certain things that I need to know. I have prepared a questionnaire that I fill out with each new captive. Some of the questions are going to be embarrassing, but you should answer them truthfully and completely. You damn well better. I don’t wanna catch you in a lie. The questions will be in reference to your physical condition, any medical conditions that I’d need to know about, medications, sex habits, sexual preferences, any childbirth you mighta had, period dates and so forth.

Now your training has already started. Each time I ask you one of those questions on the questionnaire, there’s gonna be a proper way to answer it, which I’ll tell you about in a few minutes. While we go through the questionnaire, you’re going to be strapped down on the gynecology table. Your feet will be in the stirrups and your knees will be pulled wide apart, with everything exposed. I like to keep a girl that way while she’s answering the questions, so I can examine and verify, uh, anything she might tell me which would affect her use as a sex slave.

If you do have any kind of medical condition, by all means, let me know. We’ll discuss it and we may make adjustments. We won’t turn you loose, but we may make adjustments. We’re probably going to be starting on this questionnaire pretty soon. You will be naked, and as I said, you’ll be strapped down on a gynecology table so you can’t wiggle or squirm around. You will be talking quite a bit, answering the questions, so I’m sure that we’ll start your speech training at the same time.

Consequently, before we start on the questionnaire, two small electrical clamps will be put on your nipples. Each time a question is asked, you will respond properly. For instance, if I ask you how old you are, you will respond by saying, ‘master, I’m nineteen years old.’ Answer the question completely and say nothing else. If the question requires a yes or no answer, say, ‘yes, master’ or“no, master.’ If I ask you your period dates, you say,“master, my period is so and so.’ If I ask you about childbirth, you say, ‘no, master,’ or ‘master, I had a baby a year ago,’ or whatever. Always start each sentence by saying ‘master.’ And take your time. We’re not gonna be in any hurry.

Think about what you’re gonna say before you say it. Because each time you fuckup, I’m gonna press a little button and send a few thousand volts of electricity through your nipples, right down into your tits. You are in training, so it will just be a quick blast. I’m not going to hold it down and torture you. But, each time you screw up, it’s gonna be a little bit worse. So take your time. Answer the questions properly. I’m not gonna push you. We’re not gonna be in any hurry.

Think about each thing you’re gonna say and be damn sure and start your sentence with master. If you get through that okay, get your speech down pat, keep your mouth shut and don’t give us any trouble, then the first day is gonna be real pleasant for everybody. I’m gonna put some dildos in those holes between your legs, but they will not be big ones. Basically, I just wanna become very familiar with your sex organs and the size of the holes. All girls are different. During the course of the day, you’re gonna be raped several times, but that’s no big deal. The second day, after you get totally familiar with the rules and procedures, we’re gonna get down to the nitty gritty. A lot of it will not be very pleasant for you, but you might as well get used to it because it’s gonna be like that for awhile.

Eventually things will settle down a little. Then, just take it day by day. Well, I believe I’ve told you about everything that I can. I cannot predict the future. I can’t predict changes of procedure. But if this tape is being played for you, I have to assume that it is still reasonably accurate. And I can only give you advice. Be smart and be a survivor. Don’t ever scream. Don’t talk without permission. Be very quiet. Be docile and obedient and, by all means, show proper respect.

Have a nice day.

You’ll also be whipped, about twenty lashes during each session. The whip has to be used hard enough to leave some good welts for the camera. I don’t want to get you all bloody, so the whip strokes will be concentrated on your thighs, your butt, sex organs, belly, and tits. Even if you’re gagged, the microphones will pick up the sounds. The whip is a great tool for effect.

It never ceases to amaze me how barbaric some people can be. Our customers want to see you getting hurt. We use some gigantic dildos. To create some special effects, we pull the skin around your vagina back and then thrust in a dildo four to six inches wide at the base. On the viewing screen it looks pretty terrible. It looks like we’re tearing you apart, and that’s what we want the viewer to think. Our customers think that’s exactly what we do to a girl when we make these movies. But that’s not the way it works at all.

You may be tempted to strike out, kick, bite, try to scratch me. I wouldn’t do that if I were you….

Just be careful what you do with your hands and feet. If you piss me off, things are gonna get a hell of a lot rougher. A woman scratched me in the face one time and I cut her clit off….

Anyhow, what I was about to tell you a while ago was that there is absolutely no way in hell that you’re going to be turned loose until I’m done with you. Hell, I even picked up one little ol’ bitch, seventeen or eighteen, that told me she had a two-week-old baby at home. And I didn’t doubt it for a minute. Her pubic hair was just starting to grow back where it had been shaved off. Her pussy lips were still swollen and puffy, but the really novel thing was her tits. After I had her for a few hours, her nipples started to leak milk constantly. Made a hell of a mess. Even with all her excuses, I still didn’t turn her loose, and I’m sure as hell not going to turn you loose….

Hello, bitch. I’m sure you’re wondering why you’ve been kidnapped and what’s going to happen to you. That’s why this tape has been made. It saves a lot of talking. It’s brief, blunt, and to the point.

I’m a dungeon master for a local chapter of the Church of Satan, Lucifer, or the Devil to you. You have been abducted so that your body can be used during rituals, and for sexual purposes for the congregation after the meetings. Our membership is pretty small, about twenty people, mixed male and female. Our meetings are pretty much what most people imagine—the way it is depicted in the movies.

A hidden church, black robes, pentagrams, rituals, chanting, a lot of nakedness, animal sacrifices, chicken blood, and a hell of a lot of sex afterward! The meetings get interesting and exciting, to say the least. Trying to raise the demons is important, but it is the sex that keeps the church financially afloat. The high priest likes to keep everybody fired up on sex, and for that, we like fresh meat. Every couple of months we kidnap some good-looking little bitch to use during the rituals and to be kept available for everyone to use during the orgy.

Let me tell you what happens at the meetings. The orgy room is separate from the main church. It contains several couches, many mats on the floor, and a refreshment center. In the middle of the room is a large wooden table with leather straps on it. Prior to each meeting, you’ll be taken to the church in a wooden box, naked, in chains and with your eyes taped shut so you can’t identify anybody.

Once there, you will be strapped down on top of the table. Your arms will be chained straight out to each side and leather straps will be buckled across your upper chest, your rib cage and your belly—so you can’t move. Your legs will be spread extremely wide apart because some of our members have diversified interests in, ah…which hole they want to use. There is a U-shaped cutout at the top of the table and it allows your head to drop right down into. it. Another leather strap will be put across your forehead so you can’t move, allowing your mouth and throat to be available for sex.

Dental jaw blocks will be installed in your mouth so that you can’t bite anybody during oral sex. When your mouth is wide open, members will just shove their dicks down your throat and hump your face until they cum. After the meeting is over in the church, everyone will move into the orgy room, take their robes off [laughs]. Now everybody is fucking naked! And they’ll surround the table. You’re definitely going to be the center of attention, especially at the first meeting when you’re the new girl.

Everybody is going to want to feel you up and try you out. Anyway, the high priest will move to the bottom of the table with a large wooden box that contains the dildo—what we call the Devil’s dick. The tip is small, so it’ll start in the vagina easy but the thing is tapered. It widens enormously at the base to about three inches this, and the whole thing is pretty close to twelve inches long. It’s a real pussy-stretcher.

Once it starts to go in, the high priest will chant:

The Devil fucks!
The Devil fucks!
The Devil fucks!

A half a dozen people will help hold your body still while the high priest forces the dick up all the way inside you There will be a sudden blast of pain between your legs and it’s not unusual at all for a girl to pass out while this is being done.

Next the high priest will rape you. After he gets through, your body will be available for everybody’s use. They’ll take turns using you in various ways, and during the course of the evening, most of them will come back for seconds and thirds. You’ll probably be raped forty to fifty times.

The next morning, after everybody goes home, I’ll take you back up to the dungeon, wash the sperm out of your body, and clean you up. I’ll get you a bath and let your build your strength up so we can do it all over again [laughs]. You’re gonna be used for three or four meetings. By then, a captive is pretty well worn out and everybody’s tired of fucking with her. Remember, your body is property of the Church of Satan. The church is going to have you one night every two weeks and I’ve got you the rest of the time. Now, the dungeon belongs to the church, and it’s very well equipped. They spent a ton of money buying all sorts of specialized equipment about anything I asked for. They even gave me medical supplies to patch up girls in case the high priest tears some slut’s pussy with a bit dildo, and that doesn’t happen too often. One of my duties is to pre-stretch a girl’s vagina so the dildo won’t tear it. There have been a few occasions when we’ve kidnapped a birch and had to take her to a meeting that same evening. Usually when that happens, the Devil’s dick tears the fuck out of her vagina. Then I have to patch her up afterward.

A few years ago, there was a certain period of time that we didn’t do that. During that time there were instances where the fellows caused so much vaginal damage that the girl hemorrhaged and sometimes didn’t survive. And it caused problems within the congregation. Nobody likes watching a girl bleed to death. Well, now you know what this is all about. You’re not exactly a sacrificial virgin. I don’t imagine you’re a virgin anyway. During the years that I’ve bene dungeon mater, for variety we sometimes snatch some pretty young girls…thirteen, fourteen years old, and even with that, we’ve only had two virgins.

Well, so much for that, but know now how you’re going to serve the church. Now let’s talk about how you’re going to serve me.

It is within my power to make your stay in the dungeon reasonably easy or a living hell. There are going to be some rules, and whether you like them or not, you will learn to obey them. You’re going to find that I don’t have any patience at all with pretty little girls that forget and make mistakes.

Crying is acceptable, so long as you’re not too loud about it. Most of the time I expect you to keep your mouth shut. You need to tell me, however, when you have to use the restroom, because if you make a mess, whether it be a piss or a crap, you’re going to be forced to lick it up.

Don’t bite. There are no second chances. If you bite, I cut.

As far as kicking goes, I really don’t have a set punishment for that. If you should hurt me with your feet, the punishment will be whatever I decide. That’s not fair, but that’s life.

When the church is done with you, the high priest will advise me when you are to be released and I will initiate a process that will take about two days. You’re going to be injected with a combination of drugs and then brainwashed until you don’t remember the church, me, this place, or any fucking thing that’s happened to you. After the hypnosis has taken effect, you’ll be taken near some town and turned loose.

Everything will heal in up to two or three weeks. It will probably take just a little longer for your vagina to shrink back to normal size, but, ah [laughs]…that, too will come to pass.

Now this is the beginning of a very trying ordeal for you. This experience is going to be very traumatic. The nights when you are taken to the church are going to be the worst by far. Each time you are going to experience about ten hours of pure hell.

Satan is a harsh taskmaster.

Your Honor, Sedgwick County, victims.…The atrocious crimes I've committed has continued. Sedgwick County has a monster. I've brought the community, my family, the victims dishonor. There's no—it is all self-centered. It was what they call—I would call a sexual predator. Today is my final judgment for me. The last couple of days in court presented by the State, their PowerPoint presentation was very powerful. There are a couple of things I might point out toward the last, but overall most of that was true. And I think Sedgwick County ought to be proud that they do have a good state, that the evidence was there earlier, the DNA, the floppy. There was no way that I was going to get out of this.

With remorse, responsibility, with corrections, concepts of apology, the old me started whatever it was, factor X, sexual predator. The volcano was the building of all these years was the Otero, and probably the most devastating, upsetting to everybody is Josephine. I just don't know. Self-centered, very selfish, and it exploded on that day. And it did continue off and on. Dishonesty, definitely. Dishonesty, probably the first thing to the people that I encountered, that they trusted me, that I was going to tie them up, take their money, and leave, and then I killed them. That's dishonesty to my family, that—I would lie and cheat to be self-interested. To my employers and to the county, the taxpayers' money.

Ideal responsibility, yes, I had pride back then. To some degree I'm trying to drop down to that. But that's the media. I just seemed to crave the attention of the media. I think through the years that's quite present during the presentation and all the archives they had. You can understand that. The bottom line is of the old selfish, very disassociated with society, self-centered for my own purposes, and I take that full authority on my shoulders.

The victims. I wrote some notes down. I don't know if this is really appropriate or not. And then these things came—a lot of these came out of the paper because I didn't—I knew the people, you all know why I chose them. But I thought I'd share some things.

Kathleen Bright, and I hope I don't tread on the media, because I did use some of this from the media because I didn't know this much from the people. She spent time at her grandparents farm. Well, I did too as a kid. I have many, many, many fond memories of that, and I took that from her. She went to Valley Center. I was a Valley Center high schooler for two years there, walked the halls, probably the same line, shared maybe the same teachers, although they would have been older. She worked at Coleman, just like I did, trying to fill a job, as anybody would. Tried to keep, you know, our heads above water. And I took that from her.

Dolores Davis. She loved animals and I worked in animal control. I realize that the early years I probably did have some cruelty to animals. But I don't think if anybody asks Park City or anything they would say I was—I was always pretty good to animals. I have a great fondness for animals. I have pets and I know she had. And I read somewhere she had her last Christmas with her family, and I did too. That was a wonderful time, but I took that from her.

Nancy Fox, she was a wonderful person and I did—I did track her just like a predator. She was a wonderful young lady, well organized, hard worker. And I took her life.

Marine Hedge. She was a neighbor, one I walked by and waved to, a gardener. I love to garden, flowers. She attended church, the same church I had been to with the Boy Scouts.

Joseph Otero. He was in the Air Force. I was in the Air Force. He was a husband. I was a husband. Although I always wanted to be a pilot, I always had a fascination with aeronautics. He was a pilot. One time I even thought about taking pilot lessons. And a veteran, I was a veteran. So our threads are close.

Julie Otero is a lot like my wife, a loving mother, raised kids, and she also worked at Coleman.

Josephine. She would have been a lot like my daughter at that age. Played with her Barbie dolls. She liked to write poetry. I like to write poetry. She liked to draw. I like to draw. Someone mentioned that she was like peas in a pod. I think that probably comes from the Wichita Eagle Beacon wrote that down, give the credit to them.

Joseph Otero, II. He was just like me at one time, a boy and a dog. Again, that comes from the Eagle. I have many, many, many—many memories of a dog. Excuse me. I had a lot of memories as a kid with my pets. A boy and a dog is a thing you have to have when you're a kid.

Shirley, she was in the choir, mother, probably a very beloved mother, and I took her life.

Probably out of all the people I didn't know Vicki Vian very much. Although I walked by her place and listened to the piano. I appreciate music. That's one of the things I always wanted to learn was piano, and I took her life. She was also a beloved mother. She attended a church that I went to once, St. Andrews.

I hope I haven't left somebody out. I have to rebuild humility, basically humbled myself now. The detention center I'm going to, tried to realize—worked with the police department, worked with my defense. Tried to realize my faults, honesty. Again, I think I cooperated with the police as well.

I—I understand there were some smoke blowing, and that was probably my demise. The afterlife is smoke. The thing about JT Allen is smoke. BTK story early, parts of it were smoke. The problem is I did—blew so much smoke that now nobody knows facts or fiction, and that's basically my demise. I have been very honest with my attorneys. They've worked very hard. And we met almost every day earlier, before the plea, somewhat less after that. But it's basically all over.

And Steve encouraged me not to go with an early plea so he could do more. They did all the things they could with the floppy, had an expert come in, go over the floppy to see whether there was any problems with that. They did extensive research on the DNA. There is a sore spot with me when they took my daughter, but I understand in law enforcement you have to do certain things.

And I think honesty, people will say I'm not a Christian, but I believe I am. So anyway, I faced up to the man himself now, my boss. I think that all points to accountability and full responsibility now.

And my remorse, I think—I think it's here. And I know the victims' families won't ever be able to forgive me. I hope somewhere deep down eventually that will happen.

When this happened, I was what I would say not total at one time. Part of me only the thoughts that compartmentalize. That is probably as the—the State started to show today was the compartmentalization of me. And that has been my biggest wreck back and forth. I'm not proud of that. It's just an escape mechanism, defense mechanism. I could switch back and forth fairly fast. I explained to the defense I was kind of like an 8-wheeler, either uphill or downhill I could switch gears very fast and rapidly, back and forth. And as I stand here in this humble way maybe people think I've done that and gone back to compartmentalize, but I don't think so. So anyway, it's given me the face to see today and not the things in the past, only remorse….I accept full responsibility. I'm going to a penal institution, full board, and I do not expect anything but the Hard 40 today. I expected that on the plea. That's why I stepped up to the plea. I knew after I talked to the police, the evidence, there wasn't any way I was really going to get out of this unless we found some way of—some evidence that was just totally out of it. And the trial would have been a long, drawn out, to the plea. There was no way that I was ever going to get out of this. I think the corrections, I'm away from society now. I'll do my healing process there as well as I can, start my new chapter in life.

And I suppose in all good time, as everybody knows Rader has to complain a little bit. So I would like to do some minor ones. Not because I want to complain today, but I want to set the record. This is my last time. Probably the biggest problem I have right now, and we're still trying to answer is what happened to Mendoza. I had a trust with that person, the psychiatrist. The defense is working on it, I know other people are working on it. But that was a—I just don't know what happened, and maybe that will happen.

Another one is the—and I—I'm just basically expressing this. I don't have control on it, but wish somebody would take heart to it is the lien on my house. That final victim, as Mr. Davis, said is my wife….She is my final victim, that and my family. She knew nothing about this, and yet the laws, as I understand it, is the lien went on the house because I have property. There's a lot of defendants that stand up here, don't have anything to go after. I know this is very expensive. Probably the defense is running somewhere 80, 90,000, just about what the house sold for. If we'd have gone to trial it would have been millions and years. So I just basically ask that whoever does that final judgment, that they think about my wife.

The other one is, not a biggie, it's not this last issue, but I'd ask for my wallet so I could get some personal pictures out of it. I was hoping the defense would have a court order that before I leave today I could go through that wallet and take some family pictures. But that's not a big issue, because I understand through code of ethics the defense will turn that probably over to the family as well as my clothes. So those are really the only complaints.

Except for PowerPoint. I don't—and again I don't want to pick on the law enforcement. They've done a very good job, but I do want to clarify a few things just for the records, because this is basically my final say.

First of all, there was two actors that were brought out, the chain walk, or John Wayne and James Bond. The action of that with Kevin was the shooting, not because I stood up and shot him. It's because when I was working with the police, that was what I call a quick draw, just like that (indicating). That's what I call the John Wayne shot. It's not that he would do something like that.

Secondly, we fought and for us to fight, he had to have both his hands open. The PowerPoint said that he basically stood up, he was tied and I shot him, and that is incorrect. We fought and I backed off. He had his hands out, and I shot him again. And again, these are only minor. It does not make any difference. It's probably irrelevant. I just want to set the record straight and that's all, sir.

Vian, it was—the PowerPoint was perceived that I was strangling Shirley, I stopped to comfort the kids. That's just the opposite. She or I both put the kids back in the bathroom, comforted them there before we went in and what happened. So the toys and all that were put in there earlier. It's basically to clarify that on that.

And this is really minor, although it makes you wonder whether the information is tainted or not, the evidence, or makes you speculate what law enforcement did do, although it looked like they did a good job, a hundred percent.

The Dolores Davis graves, they put back and forth. If anybody knows anything about geology, structure, those trees and stuff were not at Lake Cheney. They were over in the eastern part of the United States. And those pictures that came in the mail were not—were not the other ones, they were all from the grave site at Cheney.

Probably the most damaging to me was the pornography they displayed. Yes, they have pornography of what I drew. But I didn't see where they had a lot of pornography, but they brought two pictures out. Family will know I didn't own a camper. I had a pickup with a camper top, but I didn't have any shelves in that. So basically the evidence was totally tainted. They either picked up a picture from somewhere else or inserted it or didn't realize it. That may have been a relative, I'm not sure, but I would think if they had more pornography they would have showed it. That's basically the clarifications.

The other thing is with the law enforcement, there seemed to be—I was portrayed as a dog catcher. I did go to HA law enforcement. I felt like I did have a rapport with the law enforcement people during the confession, as they probably said in the paper, I'd still probably be talking if the defense person didn't show up. We had a good rapport. I almost felt like they were my buddies. At one time I asked about LaMunyon maybe coming in and having a cup of coffee with me. So there was a rapport. I have always had a great respect for law enforcement, although I wore a black hat instead of a white hat.

Thanks. I can't believe the people that have helped me on this. Starting with, I think you as a society have to—even though I am a criminal, I think you have to appreciate the police department. They have done a lot of work. Even though it took long time, they gathered evidence, they had that evidence. When they got the key suspect, they zeroed in on them very rapidly. So they have the dedication. Like Mr. Landwehr for all these years is great. So I think Sedgwick County really has a good police force.

Defense. This has been a unique, probably a different type case than they've ever had. We've had our ups and downs, but also they've been good. It's just like a new learning curve. It's just a new curve. And the media has just been terrible. I worked with the media afterwards. It—I mean, it just—it's just tremendous. They've done very good. Sarah has probably been my—probably my work horse. I really appreciate her. She's done a lot of good work. Steve, he had to keep heads on all this. It was very hard, very hard for him.

I want to go ahead, since I worked with defense very close, to give them a personal, make sure I go through the list here. I already mentioned Steve, Sarah McKinnon. Everybody knows Steve. Another one that helped me was Jama Mitchell. I think she's on a case today probably, is that correct, In El Dorado. Okay. Lea Ann Standrich, she was a social worker that did a lot of research for me earlier. I appreciate her helping that. Jenny Blaine, special investigator, and the Janie Chambers, she's the one that cut my hair, brought my clothes up. So I have—they were basically my family, so I appreciate that.

On professional staff, although we have some questions with Robert J. Mendoza and what happened there, I think that in time will be solved, but I still have to give him credit for coming in and helping me and working with me. And I'm sure—I hope I pronounce that right, Paula K. Walters, she was the other doctor that came in and they were all from Cambridge Forensic Society or Consultants. So I really appreciate the defense. They've done a lot for me, kept me advised.

Sedgwick County Detention Center. I was really scared when I first came in here, never been—I've never been arrested before. I really didn't know what to look—I was basically 4days, 42, 4days up there in isolation. First the officers, the patrol officers, they call them deputies there, pod deputies. They didn't know me, I didn't know them. But they finally opened up and they became human, and I think they realized I was human too. Eventually I moved over to pod 2, and that's very much camaraderie with what I call the dirty dozen or the peas in the pod. They were a bunch of great guys. Most of those guys are now—I have a lot of respect. I sat down with them, all have crimes, but there's—you basically build a camaraderie with those type people.

The people who moved me around. I'm what they call—I call it hot pepper or habanera red. We have special movers. Again, I hope I pronounce these—from the detention area. I hope I pronounce these people's last names right. If I leave somebody out, I apologize for that. One I have is Robert Hinshaw, Captain Barbara Maxwell, Captain Gwen Kurtz, Lieutenant Larry Bratz, Sergeant, he's my main Sergeant, he's the one that's been very, very close with me, worked with me, David Millen, and I have a lot of respect for him. He's been my main Sergeant.

On the judicial, I'll probably mess up this last name, but it's Daniel Bardezbain, and I messed that up. I'm sorry. Brad Hoch. There's many, many, many more beyond those. I would be here a long time, so I do appreciate all those people that helped.

Pastor Clark. He has been my main man, come to see me every day—or not every day, excuse me, at least once a week, sometimes twice a week. If anybody I was dishonest to was that man right there, under the house of God created these things, these atrocious acts, and for him to—for him to stay with me and remain strong, well, he's a good man. I appreciate that. He also went with me early this week, went through confession, I sat down, went through each of the people I killed, confessed on that. And I felt the strengthening of some bonds there at that time with him.

Family, the last victims. I don't even want to start with them. You know, there's—they're still supportive a little bit. My wife's gone on, divorced, she's trying to stay out of harm's way. Since my kids are away, I don't get much letters or anything from them, but they're basically supportive….Friends. Without friends a person, I don't think in this—what I've been here 75, 7days, you couldn't survive without friends, if you didn't have family to support you, you didn't have something or somebody come to you like Pastor Clark, you'd go down, just mentally you'd go down. So friends have been a very key part.

People in the pod, pod deputies, Sergeant, although they can't have a real friendly relationship, they're friends. I got this out this morning, the other day when I was working out. This comes from the daily devotions, a Christian book. It's called Touched By a Stranger, which is an article, and at the bottom there's an article. It's by Hess. There isn't a first name for it, but is something like a friend would do. I would appreciate it. Like refreshing rain in summer, the gentle breeze in spring. Just a little gift of kindness, joy someone's heart can bring.

With the media exposure my family basically had to almost just stay away, so I really didn't have any support. There was one people—one person that stepped up, Christina Casarona, that really helped, and I really appreciate her support. There's another one out on the west coast, Andrew Pershaw. He's another Christian and really supportive. I would have gone down a long time ago without their support, so I do want to mention their names.

Christian Bible verse I found and I think helping me, will help me, leading me. This is John 8:2. I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness but have light of life. Now that I've confessed, put myself out to let everybody know what's going on, I expect to be healed and have life, and hopefully someday God will accept me.

I think Sedgwick County, myself, we speak of a man as an evil man, a dark side is there, but now I think light is beginning to shine. So I appreciate the family and friends and all I can be thankful for. And I think that will keep me from finally going to the dark side early on.

Finally, my final apologize to the victims' families. There's no way that I can ever repay them. That's all, sir.

That particular day I had some commitments. I left those, went to one place changed my clothes, went to another place, parked my car, finally made arrangements on my hit kit, my clothes, and then walked to that residence. After spending some time at that residence—it was very cold that night. Had reservations about going in ‘cause I—I had cased the place before, and I really couldn’t figure out how to get in, and she was in the house, so I finally just selected a—a concrete block and threw it through the plate glass window on the east and came on in.…Noise. I just went in. She came out of a bedroom and thought a car had hit her house, and I told her that I was—I used a—the ruse of being wanted. I was on the run; I needed food, car, warmth, warm up, and then I asked her—I handcuffed her and kind of talked to her, told her that I would like to get some food, get her keys to her car, and kind of rest assured, you know, walked—talked with her a little bit and calmed her down a little bit. And then eventually I checked—I think she was still handcuffed. I went back and checked out where the car was, simulated getting some food, odds and ends in the house, kind of like I was leaving, then went back and removed her handcuffs and—and then tied her up and then—and then eventually strangled her. …In the interim—I took her car back to her house. In the interim I realized that I had lost one of my guns. I dropped it somewhere. So I was distraught trying to figure out where my gun was. So I went back in the house, realized I had dropped it when I went in the—when I broke the plate glass window. It dropped. It fell on the floor right there, and I found it right there. So that solved that problem. Anyway, I went back out, threw the keys—checked the car real quick—quick like and threw the keys up on top of the roof of her house, walked from her car back to my car, took my car, drove it back, and I either dropped more stuff off or I picked her up and put ‘em in my car, and then I drove northeast of Sedgwick County and dropped her off underneath a bridge.

Vicki Wegerle was a potential victim. I went through those different phases, locked in on her as I would call it and decided that I would try that date. I used a ruse as a telephone repairman to get in her house. [I] drove there in my own personal car around lunchtime having lunch hour or approximately that time. It was earlier in the morning then. And uh put my…I actually went somewhere else and changed uh, changed my clothes into what I call my 'hit clothes.' And um…Hit Clothes. Basically different, you know, things I need to get rid of later. Not the same kind of clothes I had on. I don't know a better word to use it —crime clothes or hit clothes —I just call them hit clothes. Uhh, anyway I walked from my car as a telephone repairman. As I walked there I donned my telephone helmet. I had a briefcase. Went to one other address just to kind of size up the house. I'd walked by it a couple of times but I wanted to check it a little bit more. As I approached it I could hear a piano sound. I went to this other door, knocked on it and told them that we were recently working on telephone repairs in the area. And then went to her and knocked on the door and asked if I could check her telephone lines inside….I had a make believe instrument and after she was looking away I drew a pistol at her asked her if she would go back to the bedroom with me….I told her, when we went back to the bedroom, I told her I was going to have to tie her up. She was very upset. And I think we, I, used some material that was in, and that's another thing, I'm not sure but I that I used the material that they had in their bedroom, and after I tied her hands she broke that and we started fighting. And we fought quite a bit, back and forth….I finally got the hand on her and got a nylon sock and started strangling her….I finally gained on her and put her down and I thought she was dead but apparently she wasn't. But, uh, after she was down and not moving any more I rearranged her clothes a little bit and took some quick photos —I think three of them if I remember. And then after that there was a lot of commotion. She had mentioned something about her husband coming home so I got out of there pretty quick. The dogs were raising a lot of Cain in the back. The doors and windows were all open in the house. There was a lot of noise when we were fighting so I left pretty quickly after that. Put everything the briefcase and had her, I already gone through her purse and got the keys to the car, and used her car for my get away car.

She was chosen. I went through the different phases, stalking phase, and since she lived down the street from me I could watch the coming and going quite easily. On that particular date I—I had a—a other [sic] commitment. I came back from that commitment. Parked my car over at Woodlawn and 21st. Street at a bowling alley there at the time. Before that I dressed into—I had some other clothes on. I changed clothes. I went to the bowling alley, went in there under the pretense of bowling, called a taxi. Had a taxi take me out to Park City. Had my kit with me. It was a bowling bag….There I asked—I—I pretended that I was a little drunk. I just took—I just took some beer and washed it around my mouth, and the guy could probably smell alcohol on me. I asked—told him to let me out so I could get some fresh air, and I walked from where the taxi let me off over to her house.…Well, as before, I was going to have sexual fantasies, so I brought my hit kit, and lo and behold, her car was there. I thought gee, she’s not supposed to be home. So I very carefully snuck into the house, she wasn’t there. So about that time the doors rattled, so I went—went back to one of the bedrooms and hid back there in one of the bedrooms. She came in with a male visitor. They were there for maybe an hour or so. Then he left. I waited till wee hours of the morning. I then proceeded to sneak into her bedroom and flip the lights on real quick like, or I think the bathroom lights. I just—I didn’t want to flip her lights on, and she screamed, and I jumped on the bed and strangled her manually.…After that, since I was in the sexual fantasy, I went ahead and stripped her and probably went ahead and—I’m not for sure if I tied her up at that point in time, but anyway, she was nude, and I put her on a blanket, went through her purse, some personal items in the house, figured out how I was gonna get her out of there. Eventually moved her to the trunk of the car. Took the car over to Christ Lutheran Church—this is with the older church—and took some pictures of her.

Nancy Fox was another one of the projects. When I was trolling the area I noticed her go in the house one night. Sometimes I would—and anyway, I put her down as potential victim. …Well, I don’t know, if —you know, if you read much about serial killers, they go through what they call the different phases. That’s one of the phases they go through is a—as a trolling stage. You’re lay—basically you’re looking for a victim at that time, and that can either be trolling for months or years. But once you lock in on a certain person then you become stalking, and that might be several of them, but you really home in on that person. They—they basically come the—that’s—that’s the victim, or at least that’s what you want ‘em to be….About two or three blocks away I parked my car and walked to that residence. I knocked at the—knocked at the door first to make sure, see if anybody was in there ‘cause I knew she arrived home at a particular time from where she worked. Nobody answered the door, so I went around to the back of the house, cut the phone lines. I could tell that there wasn’t anybody in the north apartment. Broke in and waited for her to come home in the kitchen.…I confronted her, told here there—I was a—I had a problem, sexual problem, that I would have to tie her up and have sex with her.…She was a little upset. We talked for a while. She smoked a cigarette. While the—while we smoked a cigarette I went through her purse, identifying some stuff, and she finally said, Well, let’s get this over with so I can go call the police. I said, Yes. She went to the bathroom and came—and I told her when she came out to make sure that she was undressed. And when she came out…I handcuffed her, had her lay on the bed, and then I tied her feet, and then I—I—I—was also undressed to a certain degree, and then I got on top of her, and then reached over, took either—either—either her feet were tied or not tied, but anyway, I took—I think I had a belt. I took the belt and then strangled her with the belt at that time.…After I strangled her with the belt I took the belt off and retied that with pantyhose real tight, removed the handcuffs and tied those with—with pantyhose. Can’t remember the colors right now. I think I maybe retied her feet, if they hadn’t already—they were probably already tied, her feet were, and then at that time masturbated, sir.

As before, Vian was a—actually on that one she was completely random. There was actually someone that across from Dillons was potential target. I had project numbers assigned to it. And that particular day I drove to Dillons, parked in the parking lot, watched this particular residence, and then got out of the car and walked over to it. It’s probably in the police report, the address. I don’t remember the address now. Knocked. Nobody—Nobody answered it. So I was all keyed up, so I just started going through the neighborhood. I had been through the neighborhood before. I know of knew a little—little of the layout of the neighborhood. I’d been through the back alleys, knew where some—certain people lived. While I was walking down Hydraulic I met—a young boy and asked him if he would ID some pictures, kind of as a russ [sic], I guess, or ruse as you call it, and kind of feel it out, and saw where he went, and I went to another address, knocked on the door. Nobody opened the door, so I just noticed where he went and went to that house and we went from there…. Potential hits. That—In my world, that’s what I called them….They were called projects, hits….After I tried this once, the residence, nobody came to the door. I went to this house where he went in, knocked on the door and told ‘em I was a private detective, showed ‘em a picture that I had just showed the boy and asked ‘em if they could ID the picture; and that time I—I had the gun here and I just kind of forced myself in. I just, you know, walked in—just opened the door and walked in and then pulled a pistol. … I told Mrs.—Miss Vian that I had a problem with sexual fantasies, that I was going to tie her up, and that—and I might have to tie the kids up, and that she would cooperate with this—cooperate with me at that time. We went back. She was extremely nervous. Think she even smoked a cigarette. And we went back to the—one of the back—back areas of the porch, explained to her that I had done this before, and, you know, I think she—at that point in time I think she was sick ‘cause she had a night robe on, and I think, if I remember right, she was—she had been sick. I think—I think she came out of the bedroom when I went in the house. So anyway, we went back to the—her bedroom, and I proceeded to tie the kids up, and they started crying and got real upset.…So I said oh, this is not gonna work, so we moved ‘em to the bathroom. She helped me. And then I tied the door shut. We put some toys and blankets and odds and ends in there for the kids, make them as comfortable as we could. Tied the—we tied one of the bathroom doors shut so they couldn’t open it, and we shoved—she went back and helped me shove the bed up against the other bathroom door, and then I proceeded to tie her up. She got sick, threw up. Got her a glass of water, comforted her a little bit, and then went ahead and tied her up and then put a blag [sic]—a bag over her head and strangled her.…Well, the kids were really banging on the door, hollering and screaming, and—and then the telephone rang, and they had talked earlier that the neighbor’s gonna check on ‘em, so I cleaned everything up real quick like, and got out of there, left and went back in—to my car.

I had many what I call them projects. They were different people in town that I followed, watched. Kathryn Bright was one of the next targets, I guess, as I would indicate….Just driving by one day, and I saw her go in the house with somebody else, and I thought that’s a possibility. There was many, many places in the area, College Hill even. They’re all over Wichita. But anyway, that’s—it just was basically a selection process, worked toward it. If it didn’t work I’d just move on to something else, but in the—in the—my kind of person, stalking and strolling [sic]—You go through the trolling stage and then a stalking stage. She was in the stalking stage when this happened….I broke into the house and waited for her to come home….She and Kevin Bright came in. I wasn’t expecting him to be there. And come to find out, I guess they were related. That time I approached them and told them I was wanted in California, needed some car—basically the same thing I told the Oteros. Kind of eased them, make them feel better, and proceeded to—I think I had him tie—I think I had him tie her up first, and then I tied him up, or vice versa. I don’t remember right now at that time… I moved her to another bedroom, and he as already secure there by the bed. Tied his feet to the bed post—one of the bedposts so that he couldn’t run. Kind of tired her in the other bedroom, and then I came back to strangle him, and at that time we had a fight.…Well, when I started strangling, the—either the garrote broke or he broke his bonds, and he jumped up real quick like. I pulled my gun and quickly shot him. It hit him in the head. He fell over. I could see the blood. And as far as I was concerned, he—you know, I thought he was down and was out, and then went and started to strangle Kath—or Kathryn. And then we started fighting, ‘cause the bonds weren’t very good, and so back and forth we fought. …Yeah, we fought, uh-huh. And I got the best of her, and I thought she was going down, and then I could hear some movement in the other room. So I went back, and Kevin—no. No. I thought she was going down, and I went back to the other bedroom where Kevin was at, and I tried to restrangle him at that time, and he jumped up, and we fought, and—and he about—at that time about shot me, ‘cause he got the other pistol that was in my should here. I had my magnum in my shoulder….And we fought at that point in time, and I thought it was gonna go off. I jammed the gun, stuck my finger in the—in there, jammed it; and I think he thought that was the only gun I had ‘cause once I either bit his finger or hit him or something, got away, and I used the .22 and shot him one more time, and I thought he was down for good that time. …Went back to finish the job on Kathryn, and she was fighting. And at that point in time I’d been fighting her. I just—And then I heard some—I don’t know whether I was lose—basically losing control. The strangulation wasn’t working on her, and I used a knife on her.…I stabbed her. She was stab—either stabbed two or three times, either here or here, maybe two back here and one here, or maybe just two times back here. …Actually I think at that point in time—well, it’s a total mess ‘cause I didn’t have control on it. She was bleeding. She went down. I think I just went back to check on Kevin, or at that basically same time I heard him escape. It could be one of the two. But all the sudden the front door of the house was open and he was gone, and—Oh, I tell you what I thought. I thought the police were coming at that time. I heard the door open. I thought, you know, that’s it; and I stepped out there, and he—I could see him running down the street. So I quickly cleaned up everything that I could and left.

Well, I had—did some thinking on what I was going to do to either Mrs. Otero or Josephine, and basically broke into the house –or didn’t break into the house, but when they came out of the house I came in and confronted the family, and then we went from there….After I got in the house it—lost control of it, but it—it was—you know, in back of my mind I had some ideas what I was going to do….I thought Mrs. Otero and the two kids—the two younger kids were in the house. I didn’t realize Mr. Otero was gonna be there….I came through the back door, cut the phone lines, waited at the back door, had reservations about even going or just walking away, but pretty soon the door opened, and I was in….Well, I confronted the family, pulled the pistol, confronted Mr. Otero and asked him to—you know, that I was there to —basically I was wanted, wanted to get the car.

I was hungry, food, I was wanted, and asked him to lie down in the living room. And at that time I realized that wouldn’t be a really good idea, so I finally—the dog was the real problem, so I—I asked Mr. Otero if he could get the dog out. So he had one of the kids put it out, and then I took them back to the bedroom….At that time I tied ’em up…they started complaining about being tied up, and I re—re-loosened the bonds a couple of times, tried to make Mr. Otero as comfortable as I could. Apparently he had a cracked rib from a car accident, so I had him put a pillow down on his—for his—for his head, had him put a—I think a parka or a coat underneath him. They—you know, they talked to me about, you know, giving the car whatever money. I guess they didn’t have very much money, and the—from there I realized that, you know, I was already—I didn’t have a mask on or anything. They already could ID me, and made—made a decision to go ahead and—and put ‘em down, I guess or strangle them. …He moved over real quick like and I think tore a hole in the bag, and I could tell that he was having some problems there, but at that time the—the whole family just went—they went panicked on me, so I—I—I worked pretty quick. …I strangled Mrs. Otero, and then she out, or passed out. I thought she was dead. She passed out. Then I strangled Josephine. She passed out, or I thought she was dead. And then I went over and put a—and then put a bag on Junior’s head and—and then, if I remember right, Mrs. Otero came back….

#5 You guess motive and victim.

#6 You found one Shirley Vain lying belly down on a unmade bed in northeast bedroom-hand tied behind back with black tape and cord. Feet & ankles with black tape &legs. Ankles tied to west head of the bed with small off white cord, wrap around legs, hands, arm, finally the neck, many times. A off white pla stic bag over her head loop on with a pink nitie was barefooted. She was sick use a glass of water and smoke I or Two cigarette-house a total mess- kids took some toys with them to the bathroom-bedagainst east bathroom door. Chose at random with some pre-planning. Motive Factor X.

#7 One Nancy Fox-lying belly down on made bed in southwest bedroom-hands tied behind back with red panty hose-feet together with yellow nitie-semi-nude with pink sweather and bra small neckless-glasses on west dresser-panties below butt-many different than the hosery. She had a smoke and wbnt to the bathroom before the final act-very neat housekeeper& dresser-rifled pursein kitchen-empty paper bag—white coat in living-room- heat up to about 90 degrees, Christsmas tree lights on- nities and hose around the room- hose bag of orange color it and hosery on bed-driver licence gone-seminal stain on or in blue women wear. Chose at random with little pre-planning, Motive Factor ‘X’.

#8 Next victim maybe: You will find her hanging with a wire noose-Hands behind back with black tape or cord -feet with tape or cord-gaged- then cord around the body to the neck -hooded maybe- possible seminal stain in anus-or on body. Will be chosen at random. Some pre-planning-Motive Factor’X’.

I find the newspaper not wirting about the poem on Vain unamusing. A little paragraph would have enought. I knom it not the news media fault. The Police Cheif he keep things quiet, and doesn't let the pubbic know there a psycho running around lose strangling mostly women, there 7 in the ground; who will be next?

How many do I have to Kill before I get a name in the paper or some national attention. Do the cop think that all those deaths are not related? Golly-gee, yes the M.O. is different in each, but look a pattern is developing. The victims are tie-up- most have been women-phone cut- bring some bondage mater sadist tendencies-no struggle, outside the death spot-no wintness except the Vain's Kids. They were very lucky; a phone call save them. I was go-ng to tape the boys and put plastics bag over there head like I did Joseph, and Shirley. And then hang the girl. God-oh God what a beautiful sexual relief that would been. Josephine,when I hung her really turn me on; her pleading for mercy then the rope took whole, she helpless; staring at me with wide terror fill eyes the rope getting tighter-tighter. You don't understand these things because your not under the influence of factor X). The same thing that made Son of Sam, Jack the Ripper, Havery Glatman, Boston Strangler, Dr. H. H. Holmes Panty Hose Strangler OF Florida, Hillside Strangler, Ted of the West Coast and many more infamous character kill. Which seem s senseless, but we cannot help it. There is no help, no cure, except death or being caught and put away. It a terrible nightmarebut, you see I don't lose any sleep over it. After a thing like Fox I ccome home and go about life like anyone else. And I will be like that until the urge hit me again. It not continuous and I don;t have a lot of time. It take time to set a kill, one mistake and it all over. Since I about blew it on the phone-handwriting is out-letter guide is to long and typewriter can be traced too,.My short poem of death and maybe a drawing;later on real picture and maybe a tape of the sound will come your way. How will you know me. Before a murder or murders you will receive a copy of the initials B.T.K. , you keep that copy the original will show up some day on guess who? May you not be the unluck one!


P.S.


How about some name for me, its time: 7 down and many more to go. I like the following How about you? 'THE B.T.K. STRANGLER', WICHITA STRANGLER', 'POETIC STRANGLER', 'THE BOND AGE STRANGLER' OR PSYCHO' THE WICHITA HANGMAN THE WICHITA EXECUTIONER, 'THE GAROTE PHATHOM', 'THE ASPHIXIATER'.

B.T.K

I was paroled to my mother, OK? What these experts don’t notice in the picture—i haven’t seen it in writing anywhere, it could be somewhere, um, that when I was fourteen years old I ran away from my mother. They mention that, OK. But if you look at that in the overall picture, why did I run away? I wanted to be with my father. That’s a very topical approach to it. I wanted to get away from my mother because I was dreaming, thinking, fantasizing murder. All day long. I couldn’t get it out of my head. She and I—I couldn’t battle with her, because I was very intimidated by her. She’s six feet tall, she weighs two and a quarter—225 pounds, she’s not a fat woman, she’s just this great big woman who I was terrified of. She had, uh, verbal capabilities you wouldn’t believe. I used to watch her field-strip grown men in emotional little contests. And when they’d get to the point where they wanted to smack her, then she’d start attacking them on beating women. ‘Oh, slap the woman around!,’ you know. And she’d toy with them on that and I’d watch these guys dance around the room having fits, knocking out windows, punch a hole in the door and then stomp off. And she could control people like that. I’m sitting there watching that in awe from one point of view and in terror from the other. I grew up with this stuff….I’m not trying to put on her what happened to the girls or to her. But I’m saying there was a lot of psychological involvement there.