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BoJack Horseman Quotes

“It's ok. Sarah Lynn, you are calm, you are thin. Your skin is so soft it's like you murdered a baby and stole its skin. Your skin is murdered baby soft.”
— Sarah Lynn (voice), BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 3: That's Too Much, Man!
Tagged: Mantra
“Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse?”
— BoJack Horseman (voice), BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 4: Stupid Piece of Sh*t
Tagged: Piece of Shit, self awareness
“Ana Spanikopita: After I almost drowned, I decided I would never again be weaker than water, so I became a lifeguard. On my first day of training, my instructor told me that there are going to be times when you'll see someone in trouble. You're going to want to rush in there and do whatever you can to save them, but you have to stop yourself. Because there are some people you can't save. Cause those people will thrash and struggle, and try to take you down with them.

BoJack Horseman: [after a long pause] What does that have to do with me?”
— Ana Spanikopita (voice) / BoJack Horseman (voice), BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 3: That's Too Much, Man!
Tagged: Drowning
“BoJack, stop. You are all the things that are wrong with you! It's not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened in your career, or when you were a kid! It's you! Alright? It's you. Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”
— Todd Chavez (voice), BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 3: It's You
Tagged: it's you, You're The Problem
“Sweetie, you know I support you, whatever you want to do, but you're not gonna find what you're looking for in these awful made-up places. The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead.”
— Mr. Peanutbutter (voice), BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 1: Later
Tagged: Pessimism
“Mr. Peanutbutter: Admit it! You like my girlfriend.

BoJack Horseman: Oh, come on. I mean, am I attracted to her? Sure. Do my days feel better when I'm around her? Yeah. Does she get me in ways no woman ever has? Indubitably. Do I fantasize about her? Yes, but only in two positions. Look, am I the kind of guy who would try to steal someone else's girlfriend? Sure, of course, but do I like her? The answer's no.”
— BoJack Horseman (voice) / Mr. Peanutbutter (voice) , BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 1: Our A-Story Is A 'D' Story
Tagged: Girlfriend, Mr. Steal Your Girlfriend
“Look, for a lot of people, life is just one long hard kick in the urethra.”
— BoJack Horseman (voice), BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 1: The BoJack Horseman Story, Chapter One
“Princess Carolyn: Face it, you're afraid of commitment.

BoJack Horseman: I am not afraid of commitment. I commit to things all the time. It's the following through on that commitment that I take issue with.”
— Princess Carolyn (voice) / BoJack Horseman (voice), BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 1: The BoJack Horseman Story, Chapter One
Tagged: Commitment, Follow Through
“That woman can knock a drink back like a Kennedy at a wake for another Kennedy, but I'll be damned if she doesn't get sh** done!”
— Princess Carolyn, BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 3: Love And/Or Marriage
“There is no shame in dying for nothing. That's why most people die.”
— Henry Winkler, BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 2: Still Broken
Tagged: Death, Meaning in Dying
“I think about my child's heartbeat and oh, it makes me weep. I hope and pray to God my little fetus has a soul. Because I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my hole.”
— Sextina Aquafina, BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 3: Brrap Brrap Pew Pew
Tagged: Abortion
“Crack an egg on your head. Let the yolk drip down.”
— Mr. Peanutbutter, BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 3: Brrap Brrap Pew Pew
Tagged: Absurd, Things To Do With Eggs
“Things don't become traditions because they're good, BoJack, they become good because they're traditions.”
— Todd Chavez, BoJack Horseman, BoJack Horseman Season 2: Sabrinas Christmas Wish
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