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“If my best friend hides his farts from me then what else is he hiding from me, and why does that make me feel so alone?”
— Manny, Swiss Army Man
Tagged: Potty Humor, Best Friends
“Before the Internet every girl was a lot more special.”
— Hank, Swiss Army Man
Tagged: Internet, digital age
“ Starting Friday (October 5), West Coast–based ice cream chain Salt & Straw will be offering five new Halloween-themed flavors, including — sorry in advance — 'Dracula's Blood Pudding,' made with actual blood, which is totally OK and delicious and normal, and definitely won't make you want to hide under a rock until November.”
— Condé Nast, This Ice Cream Made With Real Blood Is the Spookiest Halloween Treat
Tagged: ice cream, Halloween
“You asked me what family is 
And I think of family as community
I think of the spaces where you don't have to shrink yourself
Where you don't have to pretend or to perform
You can fully show up and be vulnerable
And in silence, completely empty and
That's completely enough
You show up, as you are, without judgment, without ridicule
Without fear or violence, or policing, or containment
And you can be there and you're filled all the way up
So we get to choose our families
We are not limited by biology
We get to make ourselves
And we get to make our families”
— Janet Mock, Family
Tagged: Family
“A landmark report from the United Nations’ scientific panel on climate change paints a far more dire picture of the immediate consequences of climate change than previously thought and says that avoiding the damage requires transforming the world economy at a speed and scale that has 'no documented historic precedent.'”
— Coral Davenport, Major Climate Report Describes a Strong Risk of Crisis as Early as 2040
Tagged: Climate Change
“Tomorrow is gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday.”
— Amy Dubanowski, Superstore, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Funny Deep, Deep But Also Amusing, Life
“I've taken four breaks today, so I guess we both got stuff to brag about.”
— Garrett McNeill, Superstore, Season 1: Shoplifter
Tagged: Being Lazy At Work, Working, Hardly Working
“Balloons are like our souls. They want to go up, but can't, and when you pop them, they scream.”
— Glenn Sturgis, Superstore, Season 1: Color Wars
Tagged: Balloons
“Strawberry blondes should not be allowed to grow facial hair. That should be in our constitution.episode”
— Amy Dubanowski, Superstore, Season 1: Wedding Day Sale
Tagged: Strawberry Blondes
“What else could the justices do to reassure Americans and bolster the rule of law?”
— Jennifer Rubin, Justice Kagan is warning us — and her colleagues
Tagged: The Supreme Court, Politics
“Please, please educate yourself on the candidates running in your state and vote based on who most closely represents your values. For a lot of us, we may never find a candidate or party with whom we agree 100% on every issue, but we have to vote anyway.”
— Taylor Swift, Vote Based On Who Most Closely Represents Your Values
Tagged: voting, elections
“If the friend zone is painful, it seems clear that the fuck zone is at least as bad, leaving women feeling used, manipulated and deceived.”
— Madeleine Holden, Is the ‘F*ck Zone’ Worse than the ‘Friend Zone’?
Tagged: Relationships & Dating, Friend Zone
“What if fights and the resolving of them actually made relationships stronger, like micro-tears in a muscle?”
— Haley Nahman, On Conflict Aversion and Why Fighting in a Relationship Might Be Healthy
Tagged: Relationships & Dating
“Rather than eye-KEY-uh, the retailer of cheap home furnishings is ee-KAY-uh.”
— Zachary Kussin, You’re pronouncing Ikea wrong, along with everything else
Tagged: Pronunciation, Language
“Suddenly a dark cloud settled over first period... I got a C in debate?”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: dark cloud, Debate, grades
“Wasn't my mom a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Mom, total betty, died, freak accident, liposuction
“Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.”
— Dionne Davenport, Clueless
Tagged: saving herself, Luke Perry, Sex
“I was just totally clueless.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: totally, Clueless
“Cher: I'm captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.

Mel: I don't think they need your skis.

Cher: Daddy, some people lost all their belongings. Don't you think that includes athletic equipment?”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Captain, Pismo Beach, Disaster Relief, skis, athletic equipment
“Mel: At least he knows what he's doing. And he's in a good college. I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction.

Cher: I have direction.

Josh: Yeah, towards the mall.”
— Josh Lucas, Clueless
Tagged: College, Direction, Sassy, mall
“Josh: I think I'd really like to check out Environmental Law.

Mel: Why? You want to have a miserable, frustrating life?

Cher: Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: environmental law, Miserable, Life, Sassy, Diss
“Cher: You are such a brown-noser.

Josh: Oh, and you are such a superficial space cadet. What makes you think you can get teachers to change your grades?

Cher: The fact that I've done it every other semester.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: brown-noser, Superficial, space cadet, Teachers, change grade, semester
“Cher: 'Second notice on three outstanding tickets.' I don't remember getting a first notice.

Mel: The ticket is the first notice! I didn't even know you could get tickets without a license.

Cher: Oh, you can get tickets anytime.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Tickets, second notice, license
“Mel: Do you know what time it is?

Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Time, Watch, outfit
“Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Mankind, Peaceful, Violence, News, Shows, Entertainment
“Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.”
— Melvin "Mel" Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: anything happens, Daughter, killed, Miss
“If crushes were the sun, our consumption of them would be the Earth, barreling along at 67,000 miles per hour, propelled by that yellow dwarf star of love’s gravitational pull, stuck in a loop. We can’t seem to get enough.”
— Emma Bracey, The Case for Having a Crush on Your Friend, And Telling Them
Tagged: romance, crushes
“Women started speaking out more and more about harassment and assault in the wake of the initial “silence breakers” (as they came to be called), and many expected that finally holding powerful people accountable for their alleged misdeeds would usher in unprecedented social change. A year later, however, many of the men exposed by #MeToo are quietly planning comebacks, and the Senate is poised to confirm a man with multiple sexual-assault allegations to the Supreme Court.”
— Lisa Ryan, Our Year of Reckoning: An Exhaustive Timeline
Tagged: Me Too, Harvey Weinstein
“Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.”
— Dionne Davenport, Clueless
Tagged: plastic surgeon, Active, balls, nose, social life, Sassy, Diss
“Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Seuss?

Dionne: Well at least I wouldn’t skin a collie to make my back pack.

Cher: It’s faux.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Sassy, Diss, Dr. Suess, faux, backpack

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About The Authors

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.