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Zoolander Quotes

“I felt like, 'This guy's really hurting me.' And it hurt.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: Hurting, Feeling, emotions
“I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop. It's not very well ventilated down there.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: black lung, pop, ventilated
“VH1 Reporter: Derek, are you worried about Hansel?

Derek Zoolander: Uhh, not as much as I'm worried about Gretel.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Hansel and Gretel, play on words, Sassy
“Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.

Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: live, Mermaid, Correction
“Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.”
— Maury Ballstein, Zoolander
Tagged: fish hooks, Crap, sell, Queen Elizabeth, tinfoil
“Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking 'Wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.'”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Reflection, Spoon, cereal, Good Looking, Career
“Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.

Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: balls, Insult, Diss
“Hansel: This has been an emotional day for all of us. I think we should get naked.

Matilda: What?

Hansel: Don't ask questions. Just give in to the power of the tea.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: emotions, Naked, Power, tea
“ The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING!”
— Jacobim Mugatu, Zoolander
Tagged: one look, crazy pills, piano key, invention
“Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: moisture, Essence, wetness, beauty
“There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, 'Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.'”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Love, realization, Life
“It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!”
— Jacobim Mugatu, Zoolander
Tagged: Hot, right now, Damn, Iconic
“Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!”
— Jacobim Mugatu, Zoolander
Tagged: pin, ass, mean, Sassy, Weight, fitting, model
“I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Life, Good Looking, finding out, plan
“What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: center, Ants, model, small, learning from history, Reading, Building
“Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: brothers, meaningful, Words, usage
“Matilda: I became...

Hansel: What?

Matilda: Bulimic.

Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Eating Disorder, Bulimic, read minds, Psychic
“Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: Sting, Hero, Music, Respect, Idol
“I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: kid, Astronaut, bark, Tree
“ I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: Care, Product, Job, Selling, best shot, Clueless
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