It’s okay to feel sad about something that’s broken, in other words, but that doesn’t mean you’re the one who has to fix it. You need to really experience this sadness and welcome it into your life and ask it to show you things. You need this sadness and longing to show you how to be a person with rights. You need this sadness so you can start to build a religion of your own, one that makes you feel strong, one that gives up on apologies as a means of control, one that finally abandons this old, dusty view of yourself that your family planted in your brain.