“You used to be a cheater. You’re not one now. Here’s the rule: Once you cheat, you MUST know why it happened so that it will NEVER happen again. You didn’t cheat because you’re a horrible person. You cheated because you couldn’t deal with horrible feelings. Cheating is just a symptom of something deeper — fears, insecurities, trust issues, shameful secrets, childhood trauma, etc.. Once you know exactly why you cheated, when your partner asks you about your cheating past, you can explain, ‘Yes, I cheated. I was young, immature, and insecure. I had little self-esteem and was too scared to face the truth. Through the years, I’ve worked to be a better version of me. I love myself now. I understand why I did it and I would never do it again.”

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