Coach McGuirk: Hey Brendon, how come the team never carried me off the field?
Brendon: We tried, but you were too big.
Coach McGuirk: Excuse me?
Brendon: I mean, uhh... too drunk?
Coach McGuirk: Yes. Yes I was. But I tell you something Brendon, I am every day, that doesn't mean don't carry me off the field.