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Freaks and Geeks Quotes

“Everyone's a Democrat until they get a little money. Then they come to their senses!”
— Harold Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Little Things
Tagged: Democrats, Republicans, Money, Wealth, Politics, Liberals vs. Conservatives
“I just want to be older so I can go to bars. Everything fun in this world happens in bars.”
— Ken Miller, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Carded and Discarded
Tagged: bars, Fun, Drinking Age
“Sam: It's Cindy. She's kind of boring. It's weird hanging out with her friends. And, I mean, all she wants to do is make out and stuff.

Neal: I'd kill to be that bored.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Little Things
Tagged: Boredom, Making Out, Jealousy
“Daniel: All right, fine, I'll be a dwarf, but my name is Carlos.

Bill: Carlos the dwarf?

Daniel: Yeah, you got a problem with that, Gorthon?”
— Daniel Desario, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Discos and Dragons
Tagged: Dwarf, Dragon, Carlos the Dwarf, LARPing, Live Action Role Playing
“Harold: You're not lying, are you, Sam?

Sam: No.

Harold: 'Cause you know what happens to liars in this world, don't you?

Sam: They end up getting killed in jail.

Harold: Right.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Discos and Dragons
Tagged: liars, Jail, Jail Murder
“Daniel Desario: What, so it's my fault that you left your stuff in my car?

Kim Kelly: No, it's your fault that you're the most unreliable person ever.

Daniel Desario: Well, you're certainly reliable, you're always a BITCH!”
— J. Elvis Weinstein, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Bitch, Reliable, Unreliable
“Wow, that dinner smells good. Let me guess, meat?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Smooching and Mooching
Tagged: Meat, Delicious, Smells Good, Dinner
“Why don't you go pick on someone your own size? There's a bus in the parking lot.”
— Frank Kowchevski, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: size, Parking Lot, Bus-Sized
“You know what punkers don't do? Call themselves punkers.”
— Jenna Zank, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Punkers, Punk Rockers, Misnomer, Unhip
“Lindsay: God! We used to love Mac Davis, remember?

Millie: Yeah. You used to say you wished you had pillows stuffed with his hair.”
— Millie Kentner, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: Mac Davis, 1970s, Rock Stars, Fans
“Millie: You're high!

Lindsay: How could you tell?

Millie: I know what high people look like. I went to a Seals and Crofts concert last summer.”
— Millie Kentner, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: high, stoned, Rock Concerts, Seals and Crofts
“Lindsay Weir: What if all of this is a dream, and it isn't even our dream, it's that dog's dream? Maybe we're just existing in his mind and all of a sudden he'll go drink out of the toilet and we'll be gone. What will happen to us if that dog wakes up? It will be over.

Millie Kentner: Life is not that dog's dream.”
— Lindsay Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: Dream, Dog's Dream, Reality Check
“Mr. Rosso: How dumb do I look?

Ken: Do you really wanna know?”
— Jeff Rosso, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: dumb, Honesty
“Sam: Hey, Neal, I gotta go home. My parents are going to be worried.

Bill: Yeah, me too. My mom doesn't like to watch Dallas alone.

Neal: I'm just going to have my coffee now.

Bill: Is that before or after you shave?”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: dallas, Overbearing Parents, laziness
“I don't even know how you even get ONE girl. How does anyone get TWO?”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Lonely Men, Incels
“Nick Andopolis: Can you ever not be sarcastic?

Ken Miller: [sarcastically] I'm sarcastic?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Sarcasm, Irony
“Bill Haverchuck: You remember when we said we'd tell each other everything?

Neal Schweiber: Yeah.

Bill Haverchuck: Did you mean it?

Neal Schweiber: Of course.

Bill Haverchuck: Even if it's
something really, really horrible? I mean, it might not be horrible, 'cause it might not be true, but if it is true, it could be pretty horrible.

Neal Schweiber: Okay, Bill, you're killin' me. You gotta tell me now.”
— Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Secrets
“Ladies, this is just for tomorrow's scrimmage. This isn't the last chopper out of Saigon. Can we please just crank down the drama a notch?”
— Frank Kowchevski, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Looks and Books
Tagged: Scrimmage, Drama, Saigon
“Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off, and I'll throw it over that fence.”
— Kim Kelly, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Diary
Tagged: irrational, Violence, Irony, Threats
“Lindsay, do you know what happens when you put a rotten banana in a fruit bowl? All the other bananas go rotten. And that's what Kim Kelly is: a bad banana.”
— Harold Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Diary
Tagged: banana, Rotten Banana, Fruit Bowl, Bad Banana
“[prank calling] Fredericks? You're a turd. A stinky f-fat turd. Go sniff a jock strap, you poop head. You love patting boys' butts. You love patting boys' butts. Butt...you butt-patter! You're a perv and a loser... and a stinky...t-turd!
[hangs up]”
— Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Diary
Tagged: Fredericks of Hollywood, Prank Calls, Jock Strap, Butts, Loser, turd
“Well, everybody's got parents, Jean, even hookers. Remember that TV movie we saw?”
— Harold Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Diary
Tagged: Parents, Hookers, TV Movie
“Sam Weir: Is this the best cereal you've got?

Neal Schweiber: I don't know. I never eat breakfast. I just have my coffee.

Bill Haverchuck: Before or after you shave?”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Diary
Tagged: breakfast, Coffee, cereal, shaving, Slacker, slovenly, Lazy
“Sam: Think we could be arrested for making prank calls?

Neal: Yeah, and we'll get sent to telephone prison.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Diary
Tagged: Prank Calls, Arrested, Telephone Prison
“Cindy: Remember when I told you I had a crush on Todd?

Sam: Yeah.

Cindy: Well I don't.

Sam: Really?

Cindy: It's more like an obsession.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: We've Got Spirit
Tagged: Crush, Obsession
“Jeff Rosso: I. Have. Herpes. It doesn't hurt that much, but believe me, you don't want it.

Lindsay Weir: Can I please go now?

Jeff Rosso: I just blew your mind, didn't I?”
— Jeff Rosso, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: We've Got Spirit
Tagged: Herpes, Mindblowing
“These jocks think they're such badasses. Like they cured cancer or something.”
— Daniel Desario, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: We've Got Spirit
Tagged: Jocks, Badasses, cancer
“All right, kids, hurry to class. Last one to class, first one on welfare. It's your choice.”
— Frank Kowchevski, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Girlfriends and Boyfriends
Tagged: Education, Welfare
“Sam: So this is what having a girlfriend is gonna be like? She is your best friend, she is beautiful, you can say and do anything in front of her.

Neal: Well, my dad always says that's what something what women want you to think before you marry them. That's how they suck you in.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Carded and Discarded
Tagged: Girlfriend, Best friend, Marriage, Deception
“I hate astrology. What, everybody born in the same month is gonna have the same life?”
— Daniel Desario, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Carded and Discarded
Tagged: Astrology, Superstition
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