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Shaun Quotes

Total quotes: 17
“If you get cornered...[hits himself on head with cricket bat]...bash ’em in the head, that seems to work. Ow.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: self-harm, Slapstick
“Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he sells a bit of weed every now and again, you know. You’ve sold puff.

Pete: Yeah. Once. At college. To you.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Weed, College
“Shaun: No, Noel, no matter you might think, okay, I do not find it difficult to keep my work and my social life separate.

Worker: Shaun, it’s Liz for you. [hands him the phone]”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: compartmentalizing, Work Life, personal life
“As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no ‘I’ in team, but there is an ‘I’ in pie. And there’s an ‘I’ in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team...I don’t know what he’s talking about.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: anagram, Team, Confusion, Meat, Pie
“Shaun: David, kill the Queen!

David: What?

Shaun: The jukebox.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Queen, jukebox, Double Entendre
“David: Basically, I’d say your nine lives are up, Shaun.

Shaun: Get fucked, four eyes! Why don’t you go out with her if you love her so much?

David: What do you mean by that? [storms off] Well, I don’t know what he meant by that. [uncomfortable silence]”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: get fucked, four eyes, Nine Lives
“Liz: You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?

Shaun: Well, that’s a bit harsh.

Liz: Your words!

Shaun: I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: twat, failed actress
“Ed: I’m sorry, Shaun.

Shaun: It’s OK.

Ed: No, I’m sorry, Shaun.

Shaun: What? [smells Ed’s fart] Oh, God, that’s rotten!

Ed: I’ll stop doing it when you stop laughing!

Shaun: I am not laughing.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Farts, cropdusting
“Ed: [Directing Shaun on where to shoot] There!

Shaun: Where?

Ed: Three o’clock!

Dianne: Oh! Over there again. Quarter to twelve.

Shaun: What?

David: Eleven forty-five!

Shaun: Keep it simple!

Ed: Top left.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: clockwise, shooting
“Pete: It’s four in the fucking morning!

Shaun: It’s Saturday!

Pete: No, it’s not. It’s fucking Sunday. And I’ve got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours ’cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I’m SO FUCKING ANGRY?

Ed: Fuck, yeah.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Fucking, angry, Work
“David: You still haven’t met his mum?

Shaun: Not yet!

Dianne: Don’t you get on with your mum, Shaun?

Shaun: It’s not that I don’t get on with her...

David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?

Shaun: No! I love my mum!

Ed: I love his mum, too.

Shaun: Ed!

Ed: [singing] She’s like butter!

Shaun: Ed.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: mum, mother, butter
“[looking through Shaun’s LPs for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies]

Ed: ‘Purple Rain’?

Shaun: No.

Ed: ‘Sign o’ the Times’?

Shaun: Definitely not.

Ed: The ‘Batman’ soundtrack?

Shaun: Throw it.

Ed: ‘Dire Straits’?

Shaun: Throw it.

Ed: Ooh, ‘Stone Roses.’

Shaun: Um, No.

Ed: ‘Second Coming.’

Shaun: I like it!

Ed: Ahhh! ‘Sade.’

Shaun: Yeah, but that’s Liz’s!

Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.

Shaun: Oh.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: zombies, Prince, Sade, Dire Straits, Batman
“[Shaun hands Liz a bunch of flowers]
Shaun: Got you these. [Liz reads the label]

Liz: ‘To a wonderful mum’?

Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that’s, because...I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y’know, don’t wanna be my mum and that. It’s just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment...[long pause]

Liz: They’re for your mum, aren’t they?

Shaun: Yeah.

Liz: Smooth.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Flowers, Regifting
“Ed: See? You don’t need Liz to have a good time.

Shaun: Oh, don’t, man.

Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I’m not gonna say, you know, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. I’m not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I’m not going to bombard you with clichés. But what I will say is this? [chuckling] It’s not the end of the world.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Cliches, plenty of fish
“[Shaun and Ed pull up to Barbara’s house and sees Philip’s Jaguar in the driveway]

Ed: Oh! Hello! Who’s a pretty boy, then? [wolf whistle] You didn’t tell me Barbara had a Jag. I’ve always wanted to drive one of those.

Shaun: Yeah, well, it’s Philip’s, okay? He won’t let anybody near it. Honestly, I put half a Mars bar in the glove box once and he chased me around the garden with a bit of wood.

Ed: Fuck. It’s gorgeous.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Jaguar, Fuck
“Barbara: [over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.

Shaun: Well, are they still there?

Barbara: [over the phone] I’m not sure, we’ve shut the curtains.

Shaun: Did you try the police?

Barbara: [over the phone] Well, I thought about it.

Shaun: Are you OK? Did they hurt you?

Barbara: [over the phone] No, I’m fine. I’m fine.

Shaun: Mum...

Barbara: [over the phone] Well, they were a bit...bitey.

Shaun: [concerned] Mum, have you been bitten?

Barbara: [over the phone] No...but Philip has.

Shaun: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Ed: Has she been bitten?

Shaun: [to Ed] No, Philip has.

Ed: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Shaun: Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?

Barbara: [over the phone] Oh, he’s fine. Bit under the weather.

Shaun: I see.

Ed: What’s the deal?

Shaun: [to Ed] We may have to kill my stepdad.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Burglar, zombies
“Shaun: Well maybe one should do the other, and then do themselves.

Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I’ll only muck it up if I have to do myself. [Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels]

Shaun: You know, I don’t think I’ve got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same night.

Liz: [pauses] What makes you think I’d have taken you back?

Shaun: Well...you don’t want to die single, do you?

Ed: [interrupting] That’s it. I would like to be shot.

Shaun: Besides, I’ve changed. I haven’t had a fag since yesterday, I promise!

Ed: He hasn’t.”
— Shaun, Shaun of the Dead
Tagged: Cigarettes, Mortality
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