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Alan Ball Quotes

Total quotes: 32
“We're all kept alive by magic, Sookie. My magic's just a little different from yours, that's all.”
— Bill Compton, True Blood, Season 1: Mine
Tagged: Magic, different, Simple, that's all
“You can't just sit around waiting for your perfect idea of a man to come along. Life is way too damn short.”
— Sookie Stackhouse, True Blood, Season 2: Shake and Fingerpop
Tagged: sit around, perfect idea, Man, Life, too short
“I know every man, whether straight, gay or George mother-fucking Bush is terrified of the pussy.”
— Lafayette Reynolds, True Blood, Season 1: Strange Love
Tagged: Man, gay, straight, George Bush, terrified, Pussy
“My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Dead Inside
“Ricky Fitts: It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back.

Jane Burnham: And what do you see?

Ricky Fitts: Beauty.”
— Ricky Fitts, American Beauty
Tagged: God, beauty
“All that lives, lives forever. Only the shell, the perishable passes away. The spirit is without end. Eternal. Deathless.”
— Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under, Season 2: In The Game
Tagged: Life, Eternal Life, Deathless
“That's where everything started. In those cave paintings there was the creation of the idea of image, of the representation of ourselves.”
— Russell Corwin, Six Feet Under, Season 4: Can I Come Up Now?
Tagged: cave paintings, Image, Representation
“That’s the thing about Narcissus, its not that he’s so fucking in love with himself, because he isn’t at all, he fucking hates himself. It’s that without that reflection looking back at him, he doesn’t exist.”
— Billy Chenowith, Six Feet Under, Season 2: Someone Else's Eyes
Tagged: Narcissus, Narcissism, Fucking, Self-Love, Self-hatred
“Carolyn Burnham: Uh, whose car is that out front?

Lester Burnham: Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!”
— Carolyn Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: I Rule, Pontiac Firebird
“In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times.”
— Buddy Kane, American Beauty
Tagged: Success, Image
“If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model.”
— Angela Hayes, American Beauty
Tagged: Fuck, model, Attractive
“You look like a porn star with that tan and pink lipstick. You gotta date?”
— Lafayette Reynolds, True Blood, Season 1: Strange Love
Tagged: Simile Examples, Porn Star, Tan, Pink, lipstick, Date
“Celeste: I don't get fucked in the ass.

Keith: That makes one of us.”
— Keith Charles, Six Feet Under, Season 4: Coming And Going
Tagged: Anal Sex, Fucked
“All we have is this moment, right here, right now. The future is just a fucking concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So be here... now.”
— Brenda Chenowith, Six Feet Under, Season 2: Someone Else's Eyes
Tagged: Future, present, Living In The Moment, Fucking
“Hi! You've reached David and Keith, but we can't come to the phone right now because we're too gay!”
— David Fisher, Six Feet Under, Season 4: Can I Come Up Now?
Tagged: gay, Too Gay
“David: We've been clutching so desperately to the past, and for what?

Ruth: Because that's when there was hope.”
— Alan Ball, Six Feet Under, Season 5: Everyone's Waiting
Tagged: The Past, Hope
“Hey, you just shut your nasty mouth, mister! You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am!”
— Sookie Stackhouse, True Blood, Season 1: Strange Love
Tagged: shut, Nasty, Mouth, Vampire, talk, Lady
“You know, I read in Hustler everybody should have sex with a vampire at least once before they die.”
— Jason Stackhouse, True Blood, Season 1: Strange Love
Tagged: Hustler, Sex, Vampire, Die
“Sam Merlotte: Remind me why I hired you again.

Tara Thornton: Affirmative action!”
— Tara Thornton, True Blood, Season 1: The First Taste
Tagged: hired, Affirmative Action, reminder
“Angela Hayes: Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!

Ricky Fitts: Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it.”
— Ricky Fitts, American Beauty
Tagged: ugly, Boring, Ordinary
“Look at me, jerking off in the shower….This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Jerking Off, all downhill
“[Lester has just caught Caroline cheating with the Real Estate King]
Carolyn Burnham: Uh, Buddy, this is my...

Lester Burnham: Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Cheating, Cuckolding
“Mr. Smiley's Counter Girl: Whoa! You are so busted.

Carolyn Burnham: You know, this really doesn't concern you.

Lester Burnham: Well, actually, Janine is Senior Drive-thru Manager so you are on her turf.”
— Carolyn Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: busted
“I swear I try not to listen, but I can't always keep my guard up.”
— Sookie Stackhouse, True Blood, Season 1: The First Taste
Tagged: Listen, guard, swear, Always
“You just try to do more than one human could possibly do.”
— Kristen Bayer-Boatwright, Here and Now, Season 1: Eleven Eleven
Tagged: Savior Complex
“When I went backpacking through Europe after I quit school, I went to this island off the coast of Sicily—it’s this volcanic island—and on the boat over, there was this pine box. Somebody from the island was being returned to be buried there. And there were all these old Sicilians dressed up all in black, waiting, just lined up on the beach. And when they got that coffin to the beach, those old Sicilian women just went ape-shit, screaming, throwing themselves on, beating their chests, tearing at their hair, making animal noises, and it was just so…so real. I mean, I’ve been around funerals my entire life, but I had never seen such grief. And at the time, it gave me the creeps, but uh…now I think it’s probably so much more healthy than…this.”
— Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Backpacking, Europe, Sicilian, funerals, Grief
“Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.

Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.

Catering Boss: Excuse me?

Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.

Catering Boss: ...asshole.

Lester Burnham: [stunned] I think you just became my personal hero!”
— Ricky Fitts, American Beauty
Tagged: Quitting, asshole, personal hero
“Lester Burnham: How's Jane?

Angela Hayes: What do you mean?

Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.

Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.

Lester Burnham: Good for her.

Angela Hayes: How are you?

Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.

Angela Hayes: I've gotta go to the bathroom.

Lester Burnham: I'm great.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Happy, Miserable, In love
“You can pump him full of chemicals. You can put makeup on him. You can prop him up for a nap in the slumber room; but the fact remains, David, that the only father we're ever gonna have is gone! Forever…and that sucks, but it's a goddamned part of life and you can't really accept it without getting your hands dirty. Well, I do accept it, and I intend to honor the old bastard by letting the whole world see just how fucked up and shitty I feel that he's dead! God damn it!”
— Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Chemicals, Death, Corpses
“I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: firebird, Pissed Off, boy scout, life flashing before your eyes
“[at the dinner table]
Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?

Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.

Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of.

Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.

Carolyn Burnham: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.

Lester Burnham: Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT. Someone pass the asparagus, please.”
— Lester Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: Unemployment, Quitting, Mother in Law, Blackmail
“Carolyn Burnham: What are you doing?

Lester Burnham: Nothing.

Carolyn Burnham: You were masturbating!

Lester Burnham: I was not.

Carolyn Burnham: Yes you were!

Lester Burnham: Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying 'hi' to my monster!”
— Carolyn Burnham, American Beauty
Tagged: masturbating
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