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Wednesday Addams Quotes

Total quotes: 32
“Every day is all about me. This one just comes with a cake and bad song.”
— Wednesday Addams, Wednesday, Season 1: Quid Pro Woe
Tagged: birthday, Cake, Bad song
“If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor, husband
“Wednesday: We don't hug.

Becky: Oh, they're just shy.

Pugsley: We're not shy.

Wednesday: We're contagious.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Hugging, Shy, Contagious
“Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?

Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.

Wednesday: Especially his head.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Baby, Hatred, play
“Tyler: You're like a cockroach.

Wednesday: Please, flattery will get you nowhere.”
— Wednesday Addams, Wednesday, Season 1: A Murder of Woes
Tagged: Cockroach, Flatter
“I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.”
— Wednesday Addams, Wednesday, Season 1: Wednesday's Child Is Full of Woe
Tagged: Social Media, meaningless, Void
“Joel: I'll never forget you.

Wednesday: You won't?

Joel: You're too weird.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: remember, Weird
“[Pugsley hits a bird during archery practice]
Becky: It's an American Bald Eagle!

Gary: But, aren't they extinct?

Wednesday: They are now.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Bald Eagle, Endangered Species, Extinct
“Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, not even for a vacation. Everyone knows that.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Bermuda Triangle, vacation, Doom
“Let's see. I narrowly avoid death twice, discovered that my father may be a murderer, learned that I could potentially destroy the school, and was mysteriously saved by a homicidal monster.”
— Wednesday Addams, Wednesday, Season 1: Wednesday's Child Is Full of Woe
Tagged: Death, Recap, School, Destroy
“Morticia: 'Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.'
 
Ellen: 'Boys?'
 
Wednesday: 'Homicide.'”
— Wednesday Addams, Morticia, Ellen, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Growing Up, boys
“[Pugsley is tied up, mumbling urgently around an apple in his mouth.]

Wednesday: Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.

[She levels a crossbow.]”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor
“Wednesday [Cranking the switches]: 'It has to warm up.'

Pugsley: 'Why?'

Wednesday: 'So it can kill you.'

Pugsley: 'I knew that.'”
— Wednesday Addams, Pugsley, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor
“[upon seeing that Fester is actually Gordon] I knew it! You are a fake!”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: fake
“[As they're about to bury two people.]
Pugsley: 'Are they dead?'

Wednesday: 'Does it matter?'”
— Wednesday Addams, Pugsley, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor
“Wednesday: Pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: [sternly] Now.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
“Amanda: 'Is that your bathing suit?'
 
Wednesday: 'Is that your overbite?'”
— Wednesday Addams, Amanda, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, insults
“This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor, Halloween
“Young Girl: And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!

Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby, too.

Wednesday: They had sex.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Procreation, Sex, Birds and Bees
“My visions are as predictable as shark attacks.”
— Wednesday Addams, Wednesday, Season 1: Friend or Woe
Tagged: Similie Examples, Visions, Shark
“The cover-up is always worse than the crime.”
— Wednesday Addams, Wednesday, Season 1: Friend or Woe
Tagged: Cover-Up, Crime
“Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.”
— Wednesday Addams, Wednesday, Season 1: Friend or Woe
Tagged: History, Doomed, repeat
“Joel: Cara mia.

Wednesday: Mon cher.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: cara mia, mon cher, terms of endearment
“I'll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor
“Wednesday: [hooking up an electric chair] Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So we can play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, 'Is There a God?'”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Sadism, Electric Chair
“Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: I Got This, Confidence
“I'm not perky.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: perky, Deadpan
“Amanda: 'Why are you dressed like that?'
 
Wednesday: 'Like what?'
 
Amanda: 'Like you're going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died?'
 
Wednesday: 'Wait.'”
— Wednesday Addams, Amanda, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, insults, Black
“Wednesday: 'I don't want to be in the pageant.'
 
Gary: 'Don't you want to help me realize my vision?'
 
Wednesday: 'Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities.'

Gary: 'Young lady, I am getting just a tad tired of your attitude problem.'”
— Wednesday Addams, Gary, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, insults, Attitude
“Joel: 'Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?'
 
Wednesday: 'No.'
 
Joel: 'But what if you met the right man, who worshiped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you? Who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?'
 
Wednesday: 'I'd pity him.'”
— Wednesday Addams, Joel, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor, husband, Pity
“You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations; your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadside; you will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation; your people will have stick-shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, 'Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.'”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Pilgrims, Native Americans, Highballs
“Girl Scout: 'Is this made from real lemons?'

Wednesday: 'Yes.'

Girl Scout: 'I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?'

Pugsley: 'Yes.'

Girl Scout: 'Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?'

Wednesday: 'Are they made from real Girl Scouts?'”
— Wednesday Addams, Pugsley, The Addams Family
Tagged: Funny, dark, Dark Humor
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