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The Mohel Quotes

Total quotes: 4
“One more peep out of you and I'll slice you up like a smoked sturgeon.”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Threats, Sturgeon
“Is the baby gonna cry like that? Is that how the baby cries, with the loud, sustained, squealing cry, 'cause that could pose a problem. Do you have any control of your child 'cause this is the time to exercise it when baby is crying in that high-pitched, squealing tone that can drive you insane?”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Circumcision, Mohel, Judaism
“Did I find it all right? I mean could you send me to a more dangerous neighborhood? I'm dreading walking back to the subway, someone shouldn't crack me over the head and steal my bag, 'accuse I'll be lying there on the street in this neighborhood and people will spit on me and empty my pockets. I'll lie in the gutter like a bum, like a dog, like a mutt, like an animal! God forbid someone should help me or call an ambulance. No, that's too much trouble to pick up a phone and press a few buttons.”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Ghettos, Slums, danger, Bad Neighborhoods, Robbery
“Darling, you see where that glass is? How that glass is near the edge of the table. You got the whole table there to put the glass, why you chose the absolute edge, so half the glass is hanging off the table, you breathe and that glass falls over, then you're gonna have broken glass on the carpet, embedded in the carpet fibers, deep, deep in the shag, broken glass, bits of broken glass that you never get out. You can't get it out with a vacuum cleaner. Even on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass, you can't get all the pieces, and then you think you got it all and two years later, you're walkin' barefoot and you step on a piece of broken glass and you kill yourself, is that what you want?”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Mohel, Circumcision, High-strung
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