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The Mohel Quotes
Total quotes (4)
The Mohel
Character
Portrayed by
Charles Levin
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Total quotes (4)
One more peep out of you and I'll slice you up like a smoked sturgeon.
—
The Mohel
(Charles Levin)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 5
:
The Bris
Threats
Sturgeon
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Is the baby gonna cry like that? Is that how the baby cries, with the loud, sustained, squealing cry, 'cause that could pose a problem. Do you have any control of your child 'cause this is the time to exercise it when baby is crying in that high-pitched, squealing tone that can drive you insane?
—
The Mohel
(Charles Levin)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 5
:
The Bris
Circumcision
Mohel
Judaism
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Did I find it all right? I mean could you send me to a more dangerous neighborhood? I'm dreading walking back to the subway, someone shouldn't crack me over the head and steal my bag, 'accuse I'll be lying there on the street in this neighborhood and people will spit on me and empty my pockets. I'll lie in the gutter like a bum, like a dog, like a mutt, like an animal! God forbid someone should help me or call an ambulance. No, that's too much trouble to pick up a phone and press a few buttons.
—
The Mohel
(Charles Levin)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 5
:
The Bris
Ghettos
Slums
danger
Bad Neighborhoods
Robbery
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Darling, you see where that glass is? How that glass is near the edge of the table. You got the whole table there to put the glass, why you chose the absolute edge, so half the glass is hanging off the table, you breathe and that glass falls over, then you're gonna have broken glass on the carpet, embedded in the carpet fibers, deep, deep in the shag, broken glass, bits of broken glass that you never get out. You can't get it out with a vacuum cleaner. Even on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass, you can't get all the pieces, and then you think you got it all and two years later, you're walkin' barefoot and you step on a piece of broken glass and you kill yourself, is that what you want?
—
The Mohel
(Charles Levin)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 5
:
The Bris
Mohel
Circumcision
High-strung
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The angel blade won't work. Because I'm not an angel anymore. I'm your new God. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord, or I shall destroy you.
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The army is ready...to wipe out the Egyptian army. A generation will pass before Egypt threatens us again.
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Don't look at me. If you look at me again, I'll shoot you.
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You! Both of you! Oh, what I'm gonna do to you. I'm so angry! First, I'm gonna tear your lips out. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. And then I'm gonna gouge your eyes out. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
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If you were to ever part from me, I would destroy you.
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The first shot won't kill you, nor the second, not even the third—not until you crawl over here and
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Lazar
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Death comes to us all. But before it comes to you, know this: your blood dies with you. A child who is not of your line grows in my belly. Your son will not sit long on the throne. I swear it.
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