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Sheriff Andy Taylor Quotes

Total quotes: 18
“Well, what would ANY husband say to his widow? Thank her for the nice funeral she gave you, for the kind words on your headstone. Why, you got a lot to talk about. Look alive, now.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Opie's Charity
Tagged: husband, Widow, headstone, Morbid
“Oh, Aunt Bee, what they got in mind for me is as clear as the nose on a warthog's face.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Irresistible Andy
Tagged: clear as the nose on a warthog's face
“I once knew a horse that didn't even know how to fix a sore finger. Played a great guitar, but was nothin' with first aid.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Runaway Kid
Tagged: Horse, Surreal, Guitar
“Ernest T. Bass: I'm no account, Andy. I'm no-count.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: You're not no-count, Earnest. You're just... ignorant, that's all.

Ernest T. Bass: Aw, you're being kind.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 5: The Education of Ernest T. Bass
Tagged: No-Account, ignorant
“I don't know why I am always gettin' my britches caught on my own pitchfork.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Runaway Kid
Tagged: Self-Sabotage
“Andy Taylor: What do you know about love?

Floyd Lawson: What do I know... about love... about love...A man can't cut hair for thirty years without learning SOMETHING!”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 3: Andy and Opie, Bachelors
Tagged: Love, Barber
“Sheriff Andy Taylor: There goes a happy man.

Deputy Barney Fife: There goes a happy nut.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 4: Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army
Tagged: Happy, Man, Nut
“Barney, you want my honest opinion? I don't believe that dog can find his own food dish.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 5: Barney's Bloodhound
Tagged: honest opinion, dumb dog
“I don't want him to be the kind of boy lookin' for fights, but I don't want him to run from one when he's in the right.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 2: Opie and the Bully
Tagged: bullies, Self-Defense
“Sheriff Andy Taylor: Look at him go. He's a strange one.

Recruiting Sergeant: He's a wild one.

Deputy Barney Fife: He's a nut.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 4: Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army
Tagged: strange, Wild, Nut
“You better hush. I'll arrest you for bein' a disorderly corpse.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Opie's Charity
Tagged: Hush, Disorderly Corpse
“Andy Taylor: Goodbye, goodbye. Partin' is such sweet sorrow that I would say goodbye till it be morrow.

Opie Taylor: What's THAT mean?

Andy Taylor: Well, that means I'd love to set and jaw with ya a while longer, but I got to be a-movin' on.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: A Feud is a Feud
Tagged: Oxymorons, Goodby, Sweet Sorrow, Moving On
“Mayor Roy Stoner: Well, I'll admit they sound better'n they did last year...

Andy Taylor: There ya are, boys!

Mayor Roy Stoner: ...but they are still the most disgusting band I have ever heard in all my life.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 3: The Mayberry Band
Tagged: distaste, Disgust, Backhanded Compliments
“Sheriff Andy Taylor: Now I'm warning you, if you throw one more rock...

Ernest T. Bass: I promise you Sheriff, I won't throw one more rock. [Sheriff Taylor walks away]

Ernest T. Bass: Didn't say nothin' 'bout no brick!”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 6: Malcolm at the Crossroads
Tagged: throwing rocks, promises, Literal
“Deputy Barney Fife: You'll never guess what's happened. Something big.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, what is it?

Deputy Barney Fife: Biggest thing ever happened in Mayberry. REAL big. Big. BIG big.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, now just simmer down, Barney. What is it?

Deputy Barney Fife: Well, I'm tryin' to tell ya.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, so far, all I know is it's something big.

Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, 'big' ain't the word for it.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: The Manhunt
Tagged: big, Hinting, Beating around the bush
“Emma Brand: Aye, Sheriff, I come to report a murder.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: A murder?

Emma Brand: That's right.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Somebody's been murdered?

Emma Brand: Yes.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Who?

Emma Brand: Me!

Sheriff Andy Taylor: You?

Emma Brand: Yes, and I'll tell you who done it! That lady druggist, that's who!

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Miss, uh, Miss Walker?

Emma Brand: She's the one. Now, Sheriff, go arrest her. Do your duty.

Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, Emma, they's...they's just the teensiest little technicality involved here. You ain't quite dead yet.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: Ellie Comes to Town
Tagged: Murder, filing a false police report
“Well, that's a fine day's work. You've outsmarted justice and you've made a mockery of this court, and you've turned three people against me that I would have sworn would never leave my side. Oh, I can understand a shiny, autographed baseball turning a little boy's head, but I am a little disappointed in Floyd, and I'm real disappointed in my deputy. He's a law officer and ought to know better. Congratulations, ma'am. Been quite a day's work.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, Season 2: Andy and the Woman Speeder
Tagged: Ruined, Friendships
“Mr. Carter: Course I know the reason I'm shootin' at him.

Andy Taylor: Well, how come?

Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield.

Andy Taylor: What does that mean to you?

Mr. Carter: It means I gotta shoot at him.

Andy Taylor: Well why do you have to shoot at him?

Mr. Carter: Cause he's a Wakefield.”
— Sheriff Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show, season 1: A Feud is a Feud
Tagged: family feuds
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