15+ Best Marjorie Gross Quotes

You're luscious. You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra. I’m terribly sorry.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary

Attraction Irony Job Interviews

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Oh, understudies are a very shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

Understudies Substitute Teachers

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No one is touching my feet. Between you and me, Elaine, I think I've got a foot odor problem.

— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

Feet Podiatry Pedicures Foot Odor

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Now, the ending is kind of an option. I use the swirl. I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. I feel the swirl is a great capper. He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

Sex The Move David Puddy

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You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

Dating Out There Electroshock Therapy

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So, my dear, you think you can get to Broadway. Well, let me tell you something. Broadway has no room for people like you. Not the Broadway I know. My Broadway takes people like you and eats them up and spits them out.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

broadway Understudies Show Business

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It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

baths Bathing Germophobia Parasites Microorganisms

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Well, all those mechanics do is work all day with their hands and their big, muscular arms on machines, and then they come home dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski. What a huge turnoff that is.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

Mechanics Attraction Manual Labor muscles Stanley Kowalski

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Then in the distance I heard the bulls. I began running as fast as I could. Fortunately, I was wearing my Italian Captoe Oxfords. Sophisticated yet different; nothing to make a huge fuss about. Rich dark brown calfskin leather. Matching leather vent. Men's whole and half sizes 7 through 13. Price: $135.00.

— J. Peterman (John O'Hurley), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

J. Peterman Fashion Oxfords Leather Men's Shoes

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I don't even know what, what is supposed to be attractive about fur? Why does a man want to see a woman in a fur? Men want women to shave their legs, shave their armpits, pluck their eyebrows and then before we go out, we dress them up like a bear.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary

fur Animal Rights

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Sure, I like a cupcake every now and then, like everybody else. You know I like it when they have a little cream on the inside, it's a surprise. That's good, plus the chocolate ones are good, too. Sometimes I just can’t even make up my mind. A lot of times I’ll mix the two together, make a vanilla fudge.

— George Steinbrenner (Larry David), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary

Cupcakes Pastries chocolate Vanilla

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He stopped short? That's my move. I'm gonna kill him!

— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

Sex Threats Sexual Moves

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Swinging? What are you, out of your mind? Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death—which is not far off, by the way.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

Swinging Aging Mortality Grim Death Grim Reaper Flatulence

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I know what you're going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was travelling the Yangtze in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown. All of the clothing traders had gone, but a different sort of trader still lurked about. ‘Just a taste,’ he said. That was all it took.

— J. Peterman (John O'Hurley), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

Opium Addiction Yangtze River 1979

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Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: ‘It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.’

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

Proctologists Rectal Foreign Objects parties

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All right. Anyway, the point I was making before Goebbels made your hamburger is a man like you could be dating women twenty years younger. C'mon, Uncle Leo, I've seen the way women look at you. When's the last time you looked in a mirror? You're an Adonis! You've got beautiful features, lovely skin, you're in the prime of your life here, you should be swinging. If I were you I'd tell this Lydia character, ‘It's been real,’ move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign: Open for business.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

Adonis Males Players Playing The Field Joseph Goebbels Bachelor Pad

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Yeah, I got some family backstage. Course my family's nuts; they're crazy. Yep. My uncle Leo. I had lunch with him the other day, he's one of these guys that anything goes wrong in life, he blames it on anti-Semitism. You know what I mean, the spaghetti's not al dente? Cook's an anti-Semite. Loses a bet on a horse. Secretariat? Anti-Semitic. Doesn't get a good seat at the temple. Rabbi? Anti-Semite.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

Anti-Semitism spaghetti Secretariat Crazy Family Members Jay Leno

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Marjorie Gross Quotes

Marjorie Gross

Total quotes (17)

You're luscious. You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra. I’m terribly sorry.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary

Oh, understudies are a very shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

No one is touching my feet. Between you and me, Elaine, I think I've got a foot odor problem.

— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

Now, the ending is kind of an option. I use the swirl. I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. I feel the swirl is a great capper. He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

So, my dear, you think you can get to Broadway. Well, let me tell you something. Broadway has no room for people like you. Not the Broadway I know. My Broadway takes people like you and eats them up and spits them out.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

Well, all those mechanics do is work all day with their hands and their big, muscular arms on machines, and then they come home dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski. What a huge turnoff that is.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

— J. Peterman (John O'Hurley), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy

I don't even know what, what is supposed to be attractive about fur? Why does a man want to see a woman in a fur? Men want women to shave their legs, shave their armpits, pluck their eyebrows and then before we go out, we dress them up like a bear.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary

— George Steinbrenner (Larry David), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary

He stopped short? That's my move. I'm gonna kill him!

— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

— J. Peterman (John O'Hurley), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head

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