Kevin James Quotes

Total quotes (6)

Kevin James

Kevin James

Birthname

AKA Kevin James

Birthday April 26, 1965

Birthplace Mineola, New York, United States

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Television Actor, Voice Actor, Screenwriter, Actor

Characters Portrayed

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Total quotes (6)

Kevin Gable: Give me some gum.

Vanessa: I don't think I have any.

Kevin Gable: Oh, please. You're from Massapequa. Your name's Vanessa Sollucci. You have gum.

— Kevin Gable (Kevin James), Kevin Can Wait, Season 1: Sting Of Queens: Part One

Gum Sassy Snarky humor

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Don’t throw that out. At the bottom there’s a coupon for a kung fu lesson. I want to go to it.

— Kevin Gable (Kevin James), Kevin Can Wait, Season 2: Civil Ceremony

Coupons Kung Fu

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Chale: My visa has expired. It says here I could get deported!

Kevin: Well, you keep in touch.

— Kevin Gable (Kevin James), Kevin Can Wait, Season 2: Civil Ceremony

Visa Deportation goodbye

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Sara: Dad you need to put something healthy in there.

Kevin: Look—there’s beef jerky. Chock full of protein. And it’ll keep him out of the dating pool for a few years.

— Kevin Gable (Kevin James), Kevin Can Wait, Season 2: Civil Ceremony

healthy food beef jerky dating pool bad breath

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Pie, it just fills the cracks of the heart... go away pain.

— Paul Blart (Kevin James), Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Funny Humor in Sadness

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You know what it's like getting up every morning feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man? But, at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you?

— Albert Brennaman (Kevin James), Hitch

hopeless Love Movie Quotes

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Related quotes to Kevin James tagged Gum, Sassy, Snarky

Chewing gum. Well, okay, it’s not a sure sign he wants to kiss you, but still it’s a sign. If your date is chewing a gum or he uses a breath freshener every 10 minutes, he is preparing himself for a kiss.

— Jennifer Houston, 8 Ways to Know If He is Going to Kiss You

Signs He Wants To Sleep With You Gum Breath Mints Signs A Man Is Attracted To You Sexually

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I am sorbitol, maltitol, xylitol, mannitol, calcium, carbonite, soy lecithin, vegetable, triglyceride, and talc. But, for expediency's sake. You can call me...Gum.

— Gum / Twink / Krinkler's Chips / Pizza (voice) (Scott Underwood), Sausage Party

Gum sorbitol maltitol xylitol mannitol

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Jerry: Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash!

Rick: Well, I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions.

— Rick Sanchez (voice) (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Total Rickall

Sassy Grandchildren Concessions Sacrifices unemployed

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Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious.

Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.

— Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), House, Season 1: Occam's Razor

argument Specious Sassy Diss ugly Insult

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I'm sorry, Sabrina. I didn't want to hurt you; I just wanted to rule you.

— Salem Saberhagen (voice) (Nick Bakay), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 3: Salem, the Boy

Power Hungry rule Sassy Apology

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Penny: Sheldon, you know, I do understand what you’re going through.

Sheldon: Really? Did you just have the Nobel Prize in waitressing stolen from you?

— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory, Season 3: The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

sympathy Understand Sassy Nobel Prize

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Dr. James Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.

Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.

— Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), House, Season 1: Occam's Razor

Smug sarcastic Attractive Quality Sassy Maintain hair

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Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

— Dionne Davenport (Stacey Dash), Clueless

plastic surgeon Active balls nose social life Sassy Diss

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Space? Been there, done that.

— Dexter (Christine Cavanaugh), Dexter's Laboratory, Season 2: Ol' McDexter

Space been there done that Sassy

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This is not 'Bring Your Problems To Work Day', this is just 'Work Day.'

— Bob Kelso (Ken Jenkins), Scrubs, Season 2: My Monster

Work Work Problems Work Days Sassy

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It's called 'Fortress of Solitude.' Not 'Fortress of Come on In.'

— Steve Smith (voice), American Dad!, Season 10: Faking Bad

Fortress Sassy Alone annoyed

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Dr. Allison Cameron: Men should grow up.

Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

— Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), House, Season 1: Occam's Razor

Men Dogs habits Sassy sarcastic Grow Up

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I could have eaten a box of alphabets and crapped a better interview!

— Frank Barone (Peter Boyle), Everybody Loves Raymond, Season 2: Ray's on TV

food alphabets crapped better Interview Sassy

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Totally rather get shot than look like a Sears model.

— Nate Heywood (Nick Zano), DC's Legends of Tomorrow, Season 3: Aruba-Con

shot Violence model Sears Sassy Snarky joke

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Oh, yeah, because Niagara is where all the well-adjusted single men go to meet available women.

— Annie Walker (Piper Perabo), Covert Affairs, Season 1: Fool in the Rain

Niagara Falls well-adjusted single men Women meet dates Sassy

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Hugo 'Hurley' Reyes: Did either of you see a bald guy in slippers with a coconut come through here?

Charlie Pace: No. But I did see a polar bear on roller skates with a mango.

— Charlie Pace (Dominic Monaghan), Lost, Season 2: Dave

Snark Sassy Sarcasm

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Phoebe Halliwell: Where are the keys?

Prue Halliwell: Keys?

Phoebe Halliwell: You know, shiny silver silver things that go jingle jingle.

— Phoebe Halliwell (Alyssa Milano), Charmed, Season 3: Once Upon a Time

Sassy Snark Where Are The Keys Sarcasm

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Roxie: Do you hear yourself when you speak?

Morgan: Depends on what I say.

— Morgan Cavanaugh (Elisa Donovan), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 6: Sabrina's Date with Destiny

joke Ditzy dumb Sassy

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Charlotte: We are having Trey's sperm tested.

Miranda: Is it not doing well in school?

— Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), Sex and the City, Season 4: Belles of the Balls

Sassy Sperm School

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