Kayvan Novak Quotes

Total quotes (7)

Kayvan Novak

Kayvan Novak

Character

Birthday November 23, 1978

Educated At Highgate School

Nationality United Kingdom, Australia N

Occupations Comedian, Actor

Characters Portrayed

Nandor

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Total quotes (7)

They would call me Nandor the relentless because I would never relent.

— Nandor (Kayvan Novak)

Relentless Unrelenting

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Vampire sex is like pizza, in that even when it's bad it's good. It's designed to be enjoyed by eight or more people. There's a choice of toppings.And in the morning, you're like, 'Aah! Why do I have puncture wounds on my penis?’

— Nandor (Kayvan Novak)

Nandor the Relentless Vampire Sex Sex and Pizza

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Government Official: Please describe the right to bear arms.

Nandor: If it's a nice day, you should have the right to bare your arms.

Government Official: All right.Moving on.

— Nandor (Kayvan Novak)

Witty Dialouge Right to Bear Arms

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It seems that, uh, government workers are immune to hypnotism. It's like their souls are dead or something.

— Nandor (Kayvan Novak)

Government Workers The Soulless

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Guillermo is my familiar, but sometimes he's a little too familiar, you know what I mean? I mean, he's always just there.

— Nandor (Kayvan Novak)

Vampie Familars

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It's a glitter portrait. It's a portrait made from glitter.

— Nandor (Kayvan Novak)

Glitter Portrait

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Cashier: Did you just throw a coin at me?

Nandor: Yes.

Cashier: Sir, you can't be throwing ancient coins at me.

Nandor: Guillermo, stab this man.

Guillermo: He's joking.

Nandor: Stab him.

Guillermo: I tried, and...here you go, man.

Cashier: Thank you so much.

Nandor: [to Guillermo] You kind of disobeyed me just now. And I'm noting it.

— Nandor (Kayvan Novak)

Stabbing Coins joking Disobedience

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