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Johnny Hardwick Quotes

Total quotes (13)

Johnny Hardwick

Johnny Hardwick

Birthname

AKA Johnny Hardwick

Birthday September 21, 1958

Birthplace Houston, Texas, United States

Educated At Texas Tech University

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Voice Actor

Characters Portrayed

Dale Gribble

Total quotes (13)

I don't mean to sound racist, but this by far is the best selection of beans I have ever seen. I'm serious.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 6: Beer and Loathing

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Well, Joseph went to his first sleepover last night. Didn't go so well, he's a cuddler, so I had to go pick him up.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 12: The Accidental Terrorist

Sleepover Cuddler

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I hear Mega Lo Mart is taking bids for a rat problem. Boy, that'd be a sweet gig. I could finally start paying for Nancy's health insurance instead of just telling Nancy I'm paying for it.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 7: Megalo Dale

exterminator Health Insurance

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So it turns out I'm not the actual Dale Gribble, but a clone of him. The original Dale Gribble is a super-warrior from the year 2087. The second me, i.e., I, was created to help the first me fight the invading Mongol armies.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 8: Reborn to Be Wild

alter ego super-warrior

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Get away from my wife or next time I'll aim for the mannequin and hit you.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 6: My Own Private Rodeo

Threats Bad aim

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Bobby, I didn't think I'd ever need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.

— Hank Hill (Mike Judge), King of the Hill, Season 3: Three Coaches and a Bobby

soccer European anti-American

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I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 3: Hank’s Cowboy Movie

gophers tennessee bragging

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I'm all jacked up on America right now! Anyone want to hear me recite the Constitution?

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 9: Dale to the Chief

Patriotism America Constitution

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...which is why so many people are suddenly allergic to peanuts. The peanuts are emitting toxins as an evolutionary defense mechanism. They're tired of being eaten, and now they're fighting back.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 4: Naked Ambition

peanut allergies Conspiracy Theories

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You're like E.T., except E.T. was a purebred alien with a heart of gold. You're only half-alien and at times can be a tad self-absorbed.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 6: Of Mice and Little Green Men

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Guns don't kill people, the government does.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 2: How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying

Guns Government Second Amendment

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That makes a whole lot of sense….A whole lot of nonsense!

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 5: The Buck Stops Here

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The only thing your roommates (i.e., enemies) will understand is fear (i.e., psychological warfare (i.e., dirty tricks). It worked for Dick Nixon. For example, get ahold of some goat's blood. Taint that blood. Then when your roommates need blood, give them the tainted goat's blood. It's a perfect plan.

— Dale Gribble (Johnny Hardwick), King of the Hill, Season 4: Movin' On Up

enemies Fear tricks Richard Nixon Goat's Blood

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Related quotes to Johnny Hardwick tagged Beans, Racist, Sleepover

The theme of healthful eating consistently emphasizes the same foods: vegetables, fruits, beans, legumes, nuts, seeds and whole grains.

— David L. Katz, Can We Say What Diet Is "Best"?

Healthful Eating vegetables Fruits Beans Legumes Nuts seeds Whole Grains

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No human race is superior; no religious faith is inferior. All collective judgments are wrong. Only racists make them.

— Elie Wiesel, Elie Wiesel quotes on survival, spirituality and humanity

human race Judgement racist inferior Elie Wiesel

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If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus...Or the front of the bus or drive the bus.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: Beach Games

back of the bus front of the bus drive the bus racist

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We do a really good job in this country of basically sealing off sick people and sealing off toilets and sealing off everything that lets us know we're animals. And in India not only do they not do that, there's no interest in doing that.

— Lena Dunham, Lena Dunham

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An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.'

— Lena Dunham, Lena Dunham faces backlash on Twitter after 'racist' tweet resurfaces

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Sure, the internet is a place that frequently makes a mockery of serious things. But some things, like real, life-altering trauma, should be left the hell alone.

— Hafeezah Nazim, Leave “This Is America” Alone

Trauma This Is America Donald Glover Nicole Arbour racism racist Social Issues

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I can’t imagine a passionate affair with a native man... Yellowish Fever: I know I said I could never imagine a Japanese affair, but I’ve changed my mind. Kazu, the art handler hanging my mom’s show, is gorgeous like the strong, sexy, dreadlocked Mongol in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

— Lena Dunham, Sayonara

White Feminism racist

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I don't need the affirmation of the mainstream media. I don't care what they say. They can call me an anti-Semite. They can call me racist. They call me nativist. You can call me anything you want. OK? As long as we're driving this agenda for the working men and women of this country, I'm happy.

— Steve Bannon, Breitbart's Bannon declares war on the GOP

Mainstream Media Media Anti-Semite racist Nativist Working Class

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If I like their race, how can that be racist?

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Chinese Woman

racism Racial Affinity racist

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Did you hear about the dyslexic racist?
He hates gingers.

— wackoclown, Did you hear about the dyslexic racist?

racist Dyslexia

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She found herself sympathizing more with the stray dogs she saw than the poverty-stricken people.

— Brian Hiatt, Lena Dunham

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Malory: What are you, deaf and racist?

Lana: I'm black!

Malory: Oh, put it back in the deck.

— Malory Archer (voice) (Jessica Walter), Archer, Season 1: Diversity Hire

Deaf racist Black Sassy

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