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Jason Segel Quotes

Total quotes: 10
“Nick Andopolis: Can you ever not be sarcastic?

Ken Miller: [sarcastically] I'm sarcastic?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Sarcasm, Irony
“If I have just one sip of wine, by the end of the evening I'll be, like, rimming waiters for their tips, just to get me hands on a rock. You know what I mean?”
— Aldous Snow, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Tagged: Alcoholism, Alcohol
“I've never asked Lily to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. She's the love of my life. I never keep anything from her.”
— Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother, Season 9: No Questions Asked
Tagged: no questions asked, Love of My Life
“Lemme just say that, if God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system!”
— Darald, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Tagged: Oral Sex
“Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.”
— Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother, How I Met Your Mother Season 8: The Final Page
Tagged: revenge fantasies, never work out
“Oh, wedding in Hawaii! Real original!”
— Peter Bretter, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Tagged: Hawaii, Weddings
“Wow, that dinner smells good. Let me guess, meat?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Smooching and Mooching
Tagged: Meat, Delicious, Smells Good, Dinner
“Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh, you take care of me when I'm sick, you're sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing on the eggs before she cooks them, it's called Eggs Marshall and it's awesome. But the main reason is you're my best friend, Lily. You're the best friend I've ever had.”
— Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother, Season 2: Something Borrowed
Tagged: Love, how do i love thee, BFF
“Look, these teachers...these teachers want us to work, you know? And I say fine...I'll work. But you gotta let me do the kind of work that I wanna do. And for me, Lindsay, it's my—it's my drum kit, man. This my passion, you know? This is- this is the essence of who I am now. But before I had this, I was lost too. You see what I'm saying? You need to find...your reason for—for living, man. You've got to find, your big, just gigantic drum kit, you know?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Teachers, Drum Kit, Passion
“Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?! It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassery that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World house! And not the early days when they all had jobs and social consciences, I'm talking about Hawaii, and after! I can't take it anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! We're getting our own place!”
— Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother, Season 3: Dowisetrepla
Tagged: Peanut Butter, inconsiderate, real world, Hawaii
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