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Freaks and Geeks Quotes

“Everyone's a Democrat until they get a little money. Then they come to their senses!”
— Harold Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Little Things
Tagged: Democrats, Republicans, Money, Wealth, Politics, Liberals vs. Conservatives
“I just want to be older so I can go to bars. Everything fun in this world happens in bars.”
— Ken Miller, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Carded and Discarded
Tagged: bars, Fun, Drinking Age
“I believe in God, man. I’ve seen him. I’ve felt his power. He plays drums for Led Zeppelin and his name is John Bonham baby!”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Rock N' Roll Life, Rock God
“Lindsay Weir: Dad, give me one good reason why there can't be a woman president.

Harold Weir: It's called three irrational days per month. Now, I would have no issue with the other twenty seven, but we're talking about the atomic bomb here.”
— Lindsay Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Woman President, Menstrual Cycle, period
“Sam: It's Cindy. She's kind of boring. It's weird hanging out with her friends. And, I mean, all she wants to do is make out and stuff.

Neal: I'd kill to be that bored.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Little Things
Tagged: Boredom, Making Out, Jealousy
“Lindsay Weir: [about Mr. Rosso] Have you ever looked at him? He's kinda good-looking.

Kim Kelly: Yeah, if you're attracted to guys that look like Jesus.”
— Lindsay Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Little Things
Tagged: Good-Looking, jesus, Guys Who Look Like Jesus
“Daniel: All right, fine, I'll be a dwarf, but my name is Carlos.

Bill: Carlos the dwarf?

Daniel: Yeah, you got a problem with that, Gorthon?”
— Daniel Desario, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Discos and Dragons
Tagged: Dwarf, Dragon, Carlos the Dwarf, LARPing, Live Action Role Playing
“DJ: Aren't you one of those guys who's always running in here yelling ‘Disco sucks?’ What's the matter, cat got your bong, man? Is that how you learned to communicate? Running in here and yelling stuff? Is that what your precious ‘rock 'n' roll’ teaches you?

Ken: No, it teaches me that disco sucks!!”
— Paul Feig, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Discos and Dragons
Tagged: Disco, Disco Sucks, Yelling, rock 'n' roll
“Harold: You're not lying, are you, Sam?

Sam: No.

Harold: 'Cause you know what happens to liars in this world, don't you?

Sam: They end up getting killed in jail.

Harold: Right.”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Discos and Dragons
Tagged: liars, Jail, Jail Murder
“Daniel Desario: What, so it's my fault that you left your stuff in my car?

Kim Kelly: No, it's your fault that you're the most unreliable person ever.

Daniel Desario: Well, you're certainly reliable, you're always a BITCH!”
— J. Elvis Weinstein, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Bitch, Reliable, Unreliable
“Wow, that dinner smells good. Let me guess, meat?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Smooching and Mooching
Tagged: Meat, Delicious, Smells Good, Dinner
“Why don't you go pick on someone your own size? There's a bus in the parking lot.”
— Frank Kowchevski, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: size, Parking Lot, Bus-Sized
“You know what punkers don't do? Call themselves punkers.”
— Jenna Zank, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Noshing and Moshing
Tagged: Punkers, Punk Rockers, Misnomer, Unhip
“He's a gym teacher. There's no upward mobility.”
— Neal Schweiber, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers
Tagged: Gym teacher, Upward Mobility
“Ken: I always say, girl plus car equals dead animal.

Lindsay: Are you copying Ken's homework?

Kim: Trying to. He writes like a mental patient.”
— Ken Miller, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers
Tagged: Women Drivers, Copying Homework, Mental Patient
“Lindsay: God! We used to love Mac Davis, remember?

Millie: Yeah. You used to say you wished you had pillows stuffed with his hair.”
— Millie Kentner, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: Mac Davis, 1970s, Rock Stars, Fans
“Millie: You're high!

Lindsay: How could you tell?

Millie: I know what high people look like. I went to a Seals and Crofts concert last summer.”
— Millie Kentner, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: high, stoned, Rock Concerts, Seals and Crofts
“We're all unhappy. That's the thing about life.”
— Lindsay Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: Unhappy, Life, Meaning Of Life
“Lindsay Weir: What if all of this is a dream, and it isn't even our dream, it's that dog's dream? Maybe we're just existing in his mind and all of a sudden he'll go drink out of the toilet and we'll be gone. What will happen to us if that dog wakes up? It will be over.

Millie Kentner: Life is not that dog's dream.”
— Lindsay Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: Dream, Dog's Dream, Reality Check
“Mr. Rosso: How dumb do I look?

Ken: Do you really wanna know?”
— Jeff Rosso, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: dumb, Honesty
“Nick: What do people do when they're not stoned?

Ken: I dunno. Relate to one another?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Chokin' and Tokin'
Tagged: Relate, stoned
“Sam: Hey, Neal, I gotta go home. My parents are going to be worried.

Bill: Yeah, me too. My mom doesn't like to watch Dallas alone.

Neal: I'm just going to have my coffee now.

Bill: Is that before or after you shave?”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: dallas, Overbearing Parents, laziness
“I don't even know how you even get ONE girl. How does anyone get TWO?”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Lonely Men, Incels
“Nick Andopolis: Can you ever not be sarcastic?

Ken Miller: [sarcastically] I'm sarcastic?”
— Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Sarcasm, Irony
“Bill Haverchuck: You remember when we said we'd tell each other everything?

Neal Schweiber: Yeah.

Bill Haverchuck: Did you mean it?

Neal Schweiber: Of course.

Bill Haverchuck: Even if it's
something really, really horrible? I mean, it might not be horrible, 'cause it might not be true, but if it is true, it could be pretty horrible.

Neal Schweiber: Okay, Bill, you're killin' me. You gotta tell me now.”
— Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Secrets
“Remember that time in science class when I tried to sneak out a fart but it came out a poop? And then I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you guys that?”
— Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Science Class, Shart, Sharting, Fart, Gross
“Kim: Check out the pizza-face dork with the trombone! Why doesn't he just pop those things?

Daniel: I think if he did, he'd die of blood loss.”
— Kim Kelly, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Garage Door
Tagged: Pizza-Face, Dork, Trombone, Acne, Blood Loss, Overstatement
“Ladies, this is just for tomorrow's scrimmage. This isn't the last chopper out of Saigon. Can we please just crank down the drama a notch?”
— Frank Kowchevski, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Looks and Books
Tagged: Scrimmage, Drama, Saigon
“Daniel: Am I a loser?

Harris: You're not a loser because you're having sex. But if you weren't having sex, we could definitely debate the issue.”
— Daniel Desario, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Looks and Books
Tagged: Loser, sexually active
“Mr. Weir: We are not robots and things do not need to change. I like how things are! I like eating the same things. You know why? Because those are the things I like! I like chicken. And I like pot roast. And, that's how I feel about you Jean.

Mrs. Weir: Oh please. You like me like you like a pot roast?

Mr. Weir: I love pot roast!”
— Sam Weir, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: The Diary
Tagged: Pot Roast, Robo0ts, Change
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