Donick Cary Quotes

Total quotes (19)

Donick Cary

Donick Cary

Birthname

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Dub Actor, Screenwriter

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Total quotes (19)

So I'm not gonna teach you anything in here, okay? If you keep your mouth shut, you get an A. If you say anything to anybody, you get an F. Welcome to AP Bio.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

Teach grades Biology

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I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield)

figure skating Mom sobered realized Boy

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I’m really gonna need you to step it up tonight, okay? When I see you, I wanna be thinking, ‘Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?’

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield)

tonight step it up Slut dirty

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You know what I'm going to do? Buy one of those Japanese talking toilets. See what that has to say.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

Toilets talking Tachnology

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All right, if you guys don't know how and when to 'ooh' then just don't 'ooh' at all.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

Ooh Do Something Right Crowd Sassy

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Last time I was on a stakeout, I was waiting for a Taco Bell to open. Did you know that they close sometimes? I guess to mop?

— Stef Duncan (Lyric Lewis)

stakeout Taco Bell Mop

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You're a good teacher and a great citizen with an even better posture.

— Principal Durbin (Patton Oswalt)

Teacher citizen posture

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At one point, I saw a girl, a child really, eat an entire spoonful of just mayo.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

Gross Mayo Eat food

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They work hard all day long and then they reward themselves with simple things.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

Work Hard Life Simple Things treat

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Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of rollie pollies under here. Are they gonna be okay?

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

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I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less doughnuts.

— Nick Miller (Jake Johnson)

Exercise healthy eating

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I'd smooch Durbin if I wasn't as gay as a tree full of birds.

— Helen Henry DeMarcus (Paula Pell)

kiss Simile Examples

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We got to fight for our right to play smooth jazz.

— Victor Kozlowski (Jacob Houston)

Jazz smooth Fight for our Right

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Oh Michelle, you white ass Rihanna, of course, the 20th!

— Stef Duncan (Lyric Lewis)

Rihanna Excited

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Good night, sweet prince.

— Victor Kozlowski (Jacob Houston)

Night sweet gentle Prince

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Keep your eyes peeled for more beer o'clocks.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

Eyes Peeled Beer Drinking Time

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Here's your ass lanyard.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

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You wanna get twisted, you've gotta save jazz.

— Heather (Allisyn Ashley Arm)

Twisted Jazz save

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Okay, so there's four basic categories of happiness that I'm going to want to focus on all right? One, work a job where you can see the physical results of your labor at the end of each day. Two, make up mundane celebrations to distract you from your inevitable death. Number three, ingest sugary, fatty, and salty things that release endorphins in your brain. And four, partner with a convenient person within a 20-mile radius to procreate and therefore feel as though a memory of you will live on.

— Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton)

Happiness Work Job Life

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