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Ben Stiller Quotes

Total quotes: 18
“ I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: Care, Product, Job, Selling, best shot, Clueless
“VH1 Reporter: Derek, are you worried about Hansel?

Derek Zoolander: Uhh, not as much as I'm worried about Gretel.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Hansel and Gretel, play on words, Sassy
“Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.”
— Maury Ballstein, Zoolander
Tagged: fish hooks, Crap, sell, Queen Elizabeth, tinfoil
“It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!”
— Jacobim Mugatu, Zoolander
Tagged: Hot, right now, Damn, Iconic
“Matilda: I became...

Hansel: What?

Matilda: Bulimic.

Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Eating Disorder, Bulimic, read minds, Psychic
“There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, 'Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.'”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Love, realization, Life
“Hansel: This has been an emotional day for all of us. I think we should get naked.

Matilda: What?

Hansel: Don't ask questions. Just give in to the power of the tea.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: emotions, Naked, Power, tea
“I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!”
— Kirk Lazarus, Tropic Thunder
Tagged: Acting
“Do you ever get that feeling when you see a beautiful teenage girl with perfect skin and you want to kill her and take her skin and put it on your skin?”
— Alexanya Atoz, Zoolander No. 2: The Magnum Edition
Tagged: skin, Perfect Skin, Skin Psychopaths, Beauty Regime, Vampires of Youth
“I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree.”
— Hansel McDonald, Zoolander
Tagged: kid, Astronaut, bark, Tree
“Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: moisture, Essence, wetness, beauty
“Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.

Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: live, Mermaid, Correction
“ The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING!”
— Jacobim Mugatu, Zoolander
Tagged: one look, crazy pills, piano key, invention
“Your gym is a skid mark on the underpants of society.”
— White Goodman, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story
Tagged: gym, metaphor example, Underpin , Society
“Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!”
— White Goodman, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story
Tagged: Blood, Bleed, upset
“Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking 'Wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.'”
— Derek Zoolander, Zoolander
Tagged: Reflection, Spoon, cereal, Good Looking, Career
“I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.”
— White Goodman, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story
Tagged: Best Sports Movies
“I just thought I'd drop by and congratulate you on your victory by disqualification today and introduce you to the team that will be winning the Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open -- my team. Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to Blade, Laser, Blazer, I believe you've met my fitness consigliere, Me'Shell.”
— White Goodman, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story
Tagged: Team, teammates, blade, laser, Blazer
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