How I Met Your Mother

12 Classic Barney Stinson Quotes From 'How I Met Your Mother'

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. 
Kirsten Corley
October 22, 2016
“Barney Stinson: I had to look away because if I watched what the paramedics were about to do, I would've passed out. Then they took out this electric blade thing, and I kept thinking "this isn't happening, this isn't happening!"

Lily Aldrin: Oh my god, what did they cut?

Barney Stinson: My suit, my beautiful suit!”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes, Barney Quotes
“Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and she’s way too hot
for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ‘em, tiger!”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“It’s gonna be legend-... wait for it… and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother: The Complete Series
Tagged: HIMYM, Barney Quotes
“In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“God, it’s me, Barney. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Oh right, because there can be too many of something wonderful. Hey Babe Ruth, easy big fella, let’s not hit too many homers. Hey Steve Gutenberg, maybe just make three Police Academy movies. America’s laughed
enough.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Suits are full of joy. They’re the sartorial
equivalent of a baby’s smile.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Here’s the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM Quotes, T.V Quotes
“A lie is just a really great story that someone ruined with the truth.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes