The Unedited Truth Of Why People Cheat And How Sometimes You Can't Blame Them For It

The Unedited Truth Of Why People Cheat And How Sometimes You Can't Blame Them For It

Cheating happens and these quotes explain how cheating happens, and what motivates people to do it.

Jane DrinkardJuly 14, 2016

Having an affair seems like such a big decision. Of course, it’s really a series of small choices.

— Anna Sale, Cheating Happens.

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I cheated because I was desperate for someone to love me with the same ferocious first-love intensity that I’d given my husband.

— Lindsay T., Women Reveal What Drove Them To Cheat On Their Husbands

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It became more painful to not do it and to just test the waters and say, maybe this is the only guy that I’ll ever be in love with and for me to deny myself that -- that would be terrible.

— Ali, Cheating Happens.

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Thousands of years ago, man spread his seed freely, without the spectre of ‘cheating’ hovering over him. Its what nature intended.

— Chris Haven, 6 Reasons To Cheat On Your Girlfriend

Why People Cheat Cheating Monogamy

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My husband and I had been together for so long and I came to realize that he in a lot of ways had stopped paying attention. I think to a certain extent we were both sort of invisible to each other.

— Sheri, Cheating Happens.

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Choosing a married man can be safer than having a real relationship. Married men can bring to the table attention, passion, time, experience, and create a bubble of erotic and emotional pleasure without the daily grind of household management, child raising and checkbook balancing.

— Tiffany Anton, Why The Other Woman Slept With Your Man

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People who have affairs just want to find some real happiness and love in their lives.

— Mira Kirshenbaum, When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships

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I’m waiting to find another girl to form a relationship with before I dump her, so that I can make the process of dumping her less painful for myself.

— Zitandspit99, 22 Cheaters Explain “What Drove Me To Cheat”

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After telling my husband I was lonely and unhappy for years, he continued to travel for months at a time until I finally found someone else. Having that fling forced me to admit I wanted a divorce and to tell him in no uncertain terms that I was done.

— Andrea H., Women Reveal What Drove Them To Cheat On Their Husbands

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Having an affair only results when one or both partners don’t realize that the intense ‘butterflies in your stomach’ feeling that they feel initially won’t last forever.

— John Alex Clark, The Truth Behind What Makes Someone Cheat

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Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil.

— Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

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So when a secret affair is revealed, it’s devastating, destructive, and something we all would like to avoid -- but it’s also a moment that can make us finally, fully honest about what’s been missing, and what’s worth saving.

— Anna Sale, Cheating Happens.

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Would I cheat to save my soul?
No.
But to save my G.P.A.?
Yes.

— Julie Anne Peters, Luna

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When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana, Divided and Conquered: An Analysis of Man-made Weapons of Mass Separation

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Men are more likely than women to commit infidelity, largely because men have more testosterone, which is responsible for the strong desire to have sex.

— Kelly Campbell, Why People Cheat

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She knew, even though she was too young to know the reason, that indiscriminate desire and unselective indulgence were possible only to those who regarded sex and themselves as evil.

— Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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I cheated on my girlfriend because I could. I never had a lot of sexual options through high school and college, but after school, I really hit my stride. For the first time, women were hitting on me, and I was drunk on the feeling.

— D.H, Why Do People Cheat? We Got 11 Cheaters to Confess

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What we wanted out of our sex life was very different. We had some issues in our relationship that had been slowly pushing us apart.

— Adam, Why Do People Cheat? We Got 11 Cheaters to Confess

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Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship. Something is missing, passion has faded, partners feel lonely, a partner finds someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more than their current spouse, and so on.

— Truth About Deception, Truth About Deception

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The nature of a person’s employment is also related to infidelity—individuals whose work involves touching other people, having personal discussions, or a great deal of one-on-one time are more likely to have an affair.

— Kelly Campbell, Why People Cheat

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At the heart of an affair, you will often find a longing and a yearning for an emotional connection, for novelty, for freedom, for autonomy, for sexual intensity, a wish to recapture lost parts of ourselves or an attempt to bring back vitality in the face of loss and tragedy.

— Esther Perel, Transcript of "Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved"

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SELF-GRATIFICATION > INTIMACY = CHEATING

— Mark Manson, Why People Cheat in Relationships

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Happiness plays more of a role with women, who are in fact a lot likelier to cheat if they feel lonely in their marriage or partnership.

— Ellie Zolfagharifard, The science of why people cheat revealed

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Adultery has existed since human beings began entering into relationships

— Dawn Serra, Why do people cheat? A look at infidelity. | Dawn Serra

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...it isn't always our partner that we are turning away from, but the person that we have ourselves become. And it isn't so much that we're looking for another person, as much as we are looking for another self.

— Esther Perel, Transcript of "Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved"

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While no one knows precisely what went through this mind or motivated him, there was at least one thing that could have hinted at what drove Armstrong to cheat: He was a winner.

— Roberto A. Ferdman, Why People Cheat

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I cheated on my husband because he cheated on me. That’s the sad and simple truth.

— Lindsay T., Women Reveal What Drove Them To Cheat On Their Husbands

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If a person values self-gratification more than the intimacy they gain from a relationship, then they will stop sacrificing for the relationship and are likely to end up cheating.

— Mark Manson, Why People Cheat in Relationships

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I wanted children, he did not. I wanted someone who would sleep with me, he seemed disinterested. I wanted to take on opportunities and be challenged, he wanted to be comfortable.

— Rose M., Women Reveal What Drove Them To Cheat On Their Husbands

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Sex had become like showing up for an army physical.

— Susan M., Women Reveal What Drove Them To Cheat On Their Husbands

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The problem lies in the mistaken belief many people hold about what makes them happy.

— Margaret Paul, Why Do People Cheat on Their Partners?

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Infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as alcohol and drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, spending, shopping and so on.

— Margaret Paul, Why Do People Cheat on Their Partners?

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Now, all over the world, there is one word that people who have affairs always tell me. They feel alive.

— Esther Perel, Transcript of "Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved"

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If a person is problem-focused rather than looking for solutions, it can invite contempt for a partner rather than compassion. This can lead someone to seek comfort elsewhere.

— Mollie Goodfellow, The reasons why people cheat, according to a relationship expert

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This isn't to say all good looking people cheat, at all. But, I'm sorry — if your partner is good looking, funny, and interesting, they are much more likely to cheat than if they are average looking and dull.

— Brian Whitney, Why Do People Cheat? 11 Reasons A Partner Might Be Unfaithful, According To A Former Cheater

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Nowadays, your partner not only has to be the love of your life and your best friend, but also an equal economic partner, co-parent, and passionate lover.

— Megan Friedman, 6 Reasons Why Happily Married Couples Still Cheat

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Sometimes, the cheater is a narcissist or arrogant, and doesn't think he or she could be caught.

— Laura Geggel, Ashley Madison Scandal: Science Reveals 2 Main Reasons People Cheat

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...when people win against others, they tend to think they're better, or more deserving. And that thinking helps them justify cheating, since, after all, they're the rightful heir to whatever throne is next.

— Roberto A. Ferdman, Why People Cheat

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I always cheated on my current boyfriend with his predecessor, usually just to prove to myself that my ex was still attracted to me or some other completely insecure reason.

— Mish Barber Way, People Explain Their Reasons for Cheating | Broadly

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Each time I cheat with the same guy because I'm convinced he'll suddenly want to be with me again.

— Sadie, People Explain Their Reasons for Cheating | Broadly

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The coworker lives across town and tells me she barely ever leaves the area—I know my girlfriend never goes to her side of town. I feel really bad, but at the same time, why can I not have it all?

— Brady, People Explain Their Reasons for Cheating | Broadly

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Men who have casual sex without emotional attachment outside of their relationships, in addition to improving their understanding of women, may even find out that the main reason they were unhappy in their current relationship was because they weren’t satisfied with their sex life. Maybe nature is telling you that monogamy is just not for you. You figure that out by cheating.

— Chris Haven, 6 Reasons To Cheat On Your Girlfriend

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I ended up cheating on my boyfriend (even though I loved him more than anything) with this new guy because doing so, made me feel seen and heard and understood and as if I actually had some company where I was at.

— Teal Swan, Why People Cheat and Have Affairs

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Some people think foreplay, like kissing, isn't cheating. And thus, their mind is eased when they slip up a little.

— Anonymous, 11 Reasons Why People End Up Cheating On One Another

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If your partner knows that having sex with his coworker on top of his boss' desk before work could cost him his job and he's a risk-taker, that could just make it hotter for him.

— Brian Whitney, Why Do People Cheat? 11 Reasons A Partner Might Be Unfaithful, According To A Former Cheater

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Those more prone to thrill seeking may find it harder to control the impulse to cheat.

— Eric Ravenscraft, The Scientific Reasons Why People Cheat, In One Video

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The answer always lies in the fact that I lost sense of myself, my own value, that I really felt worthless. So I made stupid decisions to feel better.

— Rick Reynolds, 7 Reasons Why People Cheat In Relationships

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Yes, happy relationships are still brimming with romance. But if someone comes along and makes you feel hotter and more passionate than the way you do with your current partner, cheating suddenly becomes an option.

— Danielle Anne Suleik, Why Do People in Happy Relationships Still Cheat?

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Sometimes it really is all about the sex. It doesn't mean the relationship was bad. It just means that this person is currently too sexually adventurous to be limited to one person.

— Phoebe J. Mikneah, 10 Reasons Why People Cheat

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IF IT’S THE YEAR BEFORE A DECADE BIRTHDAY, SUCH AS AGE 29, 39, 49, 59, ETC. YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO ENGAGE IN INFIDELITY.

— Samantha Burns, 8 Reasons Why People Cheat

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Research shows that cheating serves an important purpose: It’s part of a clever reproductive strategy nature devised to guarantee that humans keep procreating.

— Cris Gladly, Why You Were BORN To Cheat On The Person You Love (Yes, REALLY)

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Sexual monogamy is a social construct.

— Cris Gladly, Why You Were BORN To Cheat On The Person You Love (Yes, REALLY)

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The hormone involved with fidelity is called vasopressin. More is released in women than men, though during sex, this hormone is released in large amounts in both men and women.

— Xin Yue (Laurie) Yuan, Odyssey: Item Not Found

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These three brain systems -- lust, romantic love and attachment -- don't always go together.

— Helen Fisher, Transcript of "Why we love, why we cheat"

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Some men cheat because they want to look better than other men because having more women makes them look and feel strong and powerful.

— Anonymous, Why Do People Cheat? - The Love Queen

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Men who earn considerably more than their partner are reportedly more likely to cheat, but similar results were demonstrated by stay at home dads.

— Keiron Curtis, Page not found - UNILAD

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Bored: He doesn't spray on that good smelling cologne anymore, his clothing is wrinkled, stained or way out-of- date.

— Dr. Janne Lomasky, 8 Reasons Women Cheat: This May Surprise You!

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He needs sex – he is driven by hormonal desire to have sex and he starts to look elsewhere. Porn, Strip Clubs, The girl in the office. He fantasises and eventually may start to live out those fantasies.

— Jasmin, Why People Cheat - Relating To Men

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It’s not always a lust-filled, sordid affair or because someone doesn’t love you.

— Samantha Antrum, This video might change your perspective on why people cheat -

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Research by evolutionary biologists indicate that both men and women resist their biological programming when they try to be monogamous — something that must be learned, not something that comes natural.

— Anonymous, Why People Cheat

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The explanation that, ‘If someone loves you, they wouldn’t cheat,’ is biologically false. Someone can have all these chemicals and still feel the urge to be with someone else mainly because that is what we are; we’re mammals like all others.

— Xin Yue (Laurie) Yuan, Odyssey: Item Not Found

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Cheating is a symptom of an already failing/failed relationship. Communication has broken down and a disconnect already exists.

— Charles J. Orlando, Top Reasons WHY They Cheated — 1,000 People Get Honest

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Partners can and will cheat if they have fallen out of love or feel like their relationship has died.

— Renee Slansky, 6 Reasons People Cheat On Their Partners

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Men want it all and have the skewed notion that another woman will make the longing for something more disappear.

— Jenna Birch, 12 Surprising Facts About Cheating

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The very structure of an affair: the secrecy, the ambiguity, the fact that you have to go days or weeks without seeing each other, that you can never have your lover — these things keep you hungry, they keep you wanting.

— Winifred Reilly, Why Happy People Cheat -

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You can feel deep attachment to a long-term partner while you feel intense romantic love for somebody else, while you feel the sex drive for people unrelated to these other partners. In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time.

— Helen Fisher, Transcript of "Why we love, why we cheat"

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Affairs usually start when a man feels misunderstood, like the areas of his life that are important to him are being criticized or deemed not important. Then he finds a woman appreciates him, who gives him something he isn’t getting from his primary relationship…and he strays.

— Sabrina Alexis, The Real Reason Men Cheat That Has Little To Do With You

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