50 Quotes For Those Moments You Want to Flat-Out Give Up On Men Entirely

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50 Quotes For Those Moments You Want to Flat-Out Give Up On Men Entirely

Screw relationships, because single life is way better.

Holly RiordanJuly 20, 2016

The problem is, God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.

— Robin Williams, 101 Ways to Stop Hating Dating

God Sex Intelligence

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Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.

— , Love Stinks

girlfriends boyfriends soulmates

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Metaphors are something grown-ups use when they can't set troublesome boys on fire.

— Elizabeth Camden, Beyond All Dreams

Metaphors adults boys

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Ugh. Boys. They're like French class--no matter how much I study, I'll never be fluent in the language.

— Jen Calonita, On Location

boys Confusion gender

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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

— George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

Men stupidity craziness Women

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Men, I thought, were more trouble than they were worth. Really, one should stick to books where one sees the hero coming a mile off.

— Eva Rice, The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

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A man always finds it hard to realize that he may have finally lost a woman's love, however badly he may have treated her.

— Arthur Conan Doyle, The Musgrave Ritual

Love Men Heartbreak

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Boys are idiots. Girls are idiots, too, of course, but boys are a special kind of idiot.

A girl, for instance, will vote for a boy in an election, or go to a movie that's about a boy, or buy a book that features a boy hero (or villain). Boys are much less likely to return the favor. They can't wrap their feeble minds around the idea that this girl might have anything in common with them. It's like they can't recognize girls as human beings.

— Josh Lieb, I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President

boys Girls gender

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The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.

— Carrie Underwood, The More Boys I Meet

Dating boys Dogs

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Women fall in love when they get to know you. Men are just the opposite. When they finally know you, they're ready to leave.

— James Salter, Dusk and Other Stories

Love Breakups Leaving

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Another thing that happens in the movies: They all have these dramatic crises where everything looks bleak and you think the couple will never, ever get back together. But then they realize they can't live without each other, and in the end they live happily ever after.

It's all a lie. When you hate someone you used to love, and you think he's done something awful-he probably has.

You're not going to love him again.

He's not going to apologize, or come back to you.

He probably doesn't even ever think about you at all, because he's too busy thinking about someone else.

— E. Lockhart, The Boyfriend List

Heartbreak Dating Apologies

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Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

— James Thurber, The Parents' Guide to Boys

boys Confusion Understanding

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Beautiful face. Beautiful body. Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys.

— Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian

Men boys Dating beauty

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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.

— Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

strength God Dating

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When a girl cries, few things are more worthless than a boy.

— Alexandra Bracken, The Darkest Minds

Crying Tears Men

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I had a dream that boys would act like men for once… Then I woke up.

— Starley Ard, Dreaming is for lovers

Dreaming boys Men

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Men didn't respect beauty. They used it.

— Nora Roberts, Montana Sky

beauty manipulation Respect

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Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical.

— Rachel Hill, A Girl's Guide to Guys: Meeting Them, Managing Them and All That Love Stuff

boys Dating Relationships

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I was crying a little for the boy I had wanted him to be and the boy he hadn’t turned out to be.

— Gabrielle Zevin, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac

boys Expectations Crying

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I understood books. I did not understand boys.

— Jennifer L. Armentrout, Onyx

Books boys Confusion

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Do real boys actually call girls baby? I don't have enough experience to know. I do know that if a guy ever called me baby, I'd probably laugh in his face. Or choke him.

— Katja Millay, The Sea of Tranquility

boys Dating Relationships

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I didn't answer, but, please—nothing is obvious with boys. For such simple creatures, they are quite baffling.

— Rick Riordan, The Throne of Fire

boys Confusion obvious

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Stupid kissing. Stupid roaming hands. Stupid boys.

— Jessica Park, Flat-Out Love

Kissing boys Relationships

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All that time I had spent readying myself, the articles that taught me life was really just a waiting room until someone noticed you - the boys had spent that time becoming themselves.

— Emma Cline, The Girls

boys gender Love Be yourself

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Boys are different from girls. Girls like to be cozy all the time but boys don't. First of all, they like to get all close to you like a coiled-up rubber band, but after a while, they get fed up with being too coiled and need to stretch away to their full stretchiness. Then, after a bit of on-their-own strategy, they ping back to be close to you. So in conclusion on the boy front, you have to play hard to get and also let them be elastic bands.

— Louise Rennison, On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God

hard to get Dating boys Closeness

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Thanks to Scoop, I've learned a lot about how the male mind works, and as a result I've been having nightmares for months.

— Yvonne Collins, Boy v. Girl

boys Dating male mind

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I need a boy who thinks with his big head, not his little one. Since they do not exist, I have fashioned my own

— Jennifer Donnelly, Revolution

Sex Intelligence Dating

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Genius or jock, it didn't seem to matter. Boys were born with a gene that kept girls, no matter how smart they might be, from understanding them.

— Charity Tahmaseb, The Geek Girl's Guide to Cheerleading

boys Girls Confusion mixed signals

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Most young men are such bores. They haven't lived long enough to learn that they are not the wonders to the world they are to their mothers.

— L.M. Montgomery, Emily's Quest

Men Boring Life Time

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When in a relationship, a real man doesn't make his woman jealous of others, he makes others jealous of his woman.

— Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Jealousy Men Women

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As lovers, the difference between men and women is that women can love all day long, but men only at times.

— W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence

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If a man hasn't what's necessary to make a woman love him, it's his fault, not hers.

— W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil

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Can officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.

— Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary

hard to get beauty Sex

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A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.

— Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Single Dating Goals

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Busy is another word for asshole. Asshole is another word for the guy you're dating.

— Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

Dating asshole Busy

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When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands.

— Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

husbands boyfriends bad boys

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Dating is like trying to make a meal out of leftovers. Some leftovers actually get better when they've had a little time to mature. But others should be thrown out right away, No matter how you try to warm them up, they're never as good as when they were new.

— Lisa Kleypas, Sugar Daddy

Dating mature Breakups

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There’s nothing like that feeling of waiting for a guy. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. Holding that cell phone in your hand as you take out the trash, use the bathroom, change the litter box. Fearful that the one second you aren’t looking will be when they call. Pathetic. And something I have done as recently as last week.

— Hilary Winston, My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have

Waiting Lonely Fear pathetic

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It took me two years to give him all of my heart, and he threw it away in one night.

— Dannika Dark, Seven Years

Love Heartbreak boys

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A lot of men wouldn't like being called a romantic. It's not macho enough. Quite often men are fools.

— P.C. Cast, Goddess of Light

Romantic macho Men manly

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I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating.

— Neil Gaiman, American Gods

Men boys Communication

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I'm tired of waiting by the phone, and second-guessing what a guy says and trusting someone not to hurt me. Again. I've been storming the relationship castle for fifteen years, and I still don't have my prince. I've got a bunch of battle scars from the field and I want to go home and nurse my wounds. I don't want to fight anymore.

— Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

Dating Heartache Lies

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Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.

— Alexandra Potter, You're The One That I Don't Want

Marriage computers Dating

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Men suck, even imaginary ones.

— James Patterson, Sundays at Tiffany's

Men real imaginary

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Tess realized one of the great modern dating sadnesses: everyone is so used to the comforting glow of the computer screen that no one can go so far as to say 'good morning' in public without being liquored up.

— Amelia Gray, AM/PM

Modern Dating computers Communication

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What is it with boys? How do they slide into fucked-upness so quickly, with such natural ease?

— Aleksandar Hemon, The Making of Zombie Wars

boys Assholes Men

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Boys always make things more complicated.

— Katrina Abbott, Taking The Reins

boys Men Complicated

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She could think of no other reason for this boy to continue to visit her if not to use her in some way.

— Morgan Rhodes, Rebel Spring

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Why is it that every time a girl says a guy is bothering her, it's fluffed off with oh, he just likes you, as if that makes it okay?

— Kelley Armstrong, The Summoning

meanness boys will be boys Flirting

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I don't settle in any other area of my life when it comes to excellence, so why should I lower my standards when it comes to boys?

— Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

Settling Dating Standards

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