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40 Relationship Truths You'll Need To Swallow Before You Find A Relationship That Lasts

Toa Heftiba

40 Relationship Truths You'll Need To Swallow Before You Find A Relationship That Lasts

Because forever is built one day at a time.

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If you want to meet your true love, don’t focus on wanting someone to take away your loneliness or make you feel less unloved. Instead think about everything you have to offer the right person, and imagine the beautiful, productive relationship you will have, which is what you will project and attract.

— Jillian Michaels, By Jillian Michaels - Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life (3.6.2011)

AttractionLoveRelationships

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    If you think love is something that exists anywhere but within your own mind and heart, you will never have it.

    — Brianna Wiest, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think

    LoveSelf-LoveRelationshipsSelf-ConceptPerception

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    If you keep giving up on people so quickly, you're gonna miss out on something great.

    — Robin Scherbatsky, How I Met Your Mother

    Giving UpCynacismOptimismLoveRelationshipsDatingBreaking UpHIMYMhow i met your mother

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    People cannot transmute emotions, which is interesting to consider when you realize how utterly consumed the human race is with the concept of getting other people to love us.

    — Brianna Wiest, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think

    EmotionLoveSelf-LoveSelf-EsteemSelf-ConceptRelationships

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    Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.

    — Robert Holden, Think Happy: Instant Peptalks to Boost Positivity

    Self-LoveINFPRelationshipsHealth

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    Happiness isn’t something you get from a relationship (although a relationship can certainly add to your level of happiness), it’s something that spills into your relationship.

    — Sabrina Alexis, Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts

    Lovelasting loveinspirationRelationshipsDatingAdviceromancemarriage & adult relationshipsMarriageFitnessdiet

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    People aren’t always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.

    — Chloe Rattray, Sacré Noir

    ExpectationsINFPLovePeopleRelationshipsDisappointmentRealism

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    if you want to find lasting love and prevent yourself from getting hurt, you’ll need to learn how to use your head little more than your heart, at least in the beginning.

    — Sabrina Alexis, Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts

    Dating AdviceGuy AdviceRelationship Advice

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    What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.

    — John Green, Paper Towns

    PeopleRelationshipsIdealizing PeoplePutting People On A Pedestal

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    Finding the right person to spend forever with shouldn’t be easy. When things come easily, the relationship ends up being temporary.

    — Catherine Bybee, Not Quite Forever

    LoveDatingRelationships

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    The number one way to attract love is to make yourself into a vessel that can receive it.

    — Sabrina Alexis, Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts

    Lovelasting loveinspirationRelationshipsDatingAdviceromancemarriage & adult relationshipsMarriageFitnessdiet

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    Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.

    — Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

    vulnerabilityLoveConnectionRelationships

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    There is no intimacy without vulnerability.

    — Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

    IntimacyvulnerabilityLoveRelationships

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    Love will make you into the best and worst version of yourself, often in the same night.

    — Ryan O'Connell, 25 Things You Should Know About Love

    LoveRelationships

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    You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter.

    — Ryan O'Connell, 25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

    RelationshipsLoveFirst LoveFalling In Love

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    You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it be to a lover or your friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is that we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.

    — Ryan O'Connell, 25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

    LoveRelationshipsPain

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    Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to rely on someone. For a lot of people, it’s their Achilles heel. Love is the reason why they made most of their mistakes.

    — Ryan O'Connell, 25 Things You Should Know About Love

    LoveRelationshipsEqualizerMistakes

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    You will never love someone quite the same way you do the first time. In most cases, this is a good thing. The first time is fucking insane.

    — Ryan O'Connell, 25 Things You Should Know About Love

    LoveFirst LoveRelationshipsFalling In Love

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    Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

    — Fran Lebowitz, Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family

    LoveRelationshipsINFPReality

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    Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

    — Erica Jong, Fear of Flying

    LoveRelationshipsINFPCynacismFalling In Love

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    Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

    — Erica Jong, Fear of Flying

    LoveRelationshipsINFPCynacismFalling In Love

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    If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. And when you love someone you don’t stop, ever. Even when people roll their eyes, and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then.

    — Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor), How I Met Your Mother, Season 9: Sunrise

    LoveRelationshipscaringUnrequited Love

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    Happiness is only real when shared.

    — Chris McCandless, Into the Wild

    HappinessLoveRelationshipsFriendship

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    When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.

    — Deepak Chopra, The Path to Love: Spiritual Strategies for Healing

    StruggleWeaknessstrengthRelationshipsSelf-DoubtSelf-ConceptIdentityEgo

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    Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment.

    — Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams

    RelationshipsDestinyFatePeopleAttraction

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    When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.

    — Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

    RelationshipsSelf-Esteem

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    You can be totally perfect for one another, you can love each other like crazy, you can be wildly attracted to one another, you can even be soul mates, and you will still have to work at it.

    — Sabrina Alexis, Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts

    Lovelasting loveinspirationRelationshipsDatingAdviceromancemarriage & adult relationshipsMarriageFitnessdiet

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    Sometimes the problem isn’t that we should treat others as we’d want to be treated, the problem is that we do, and we don’t realize that actually, we should treat others how they want to be treated.

    — Iain Thomas, How to be Happy: Not a Self-Help Book. Seriously.

    RelationshipsFriendshipTreating People As They Want To Be TreatedGirl Who Cares Too Much

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    You can’t fool people into loving you.

    — Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

    LoveRelationships

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    We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it's got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, ‘This is the problem I want to have.’

    — Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe

    soulmatesSoul MatesThe OneFinding The OneLoveRelationshipsMarriageDating

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    Any fool can love somebody who’s perfect, somebody who does everything right. But that doesn’t stretch your soul. Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love somebody after they’ve hurt you.

    — Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Hot Shot

    LoveRelationshipsBetrayalPerserveranceChoosing LovePainHeartbreakHeartache

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    The foundation of adult trust is not “You will never hurt me.” It is “I trust myself with whatever you do.

    — David Richo, Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy

    TrustRelationshipsSelf-TrustLoveIntimacyvulnerability

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    To love again, you must not discard what has happened to you, but take from it the strength you’ll need to carry on.

    — Simon Van Booy, Everything Beautiful Began After

    LoveRelationshipsFalling In LovestrengthTrust

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    People will disappoint you and wrong you, but they will also defend you and fight for you and bowl you over with kindness. We are all such radiant fuckups — we have to remember this and love one another for it. And even when it seems impossible, we have to be good to one another, to extend an open hand, to try to bring the light back in to illuminate the darkness.

    — Cody Gohl, We Will Hurt Each Other

    RelationshipsPainTrustDisappointmentMoralityGood PeopleBad People

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    In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one’s humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting

    — Robert Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life

    PerfectionPerfectionismLifeRelationshipsAuthenticityBeing AuthenticBeing Fake

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    If you want stable love, you have to be stable yourself.You have to know what you want from life even if you’re not there, you have to understand what you want out of a relationship even if you’ve never been in one and you have to be consistent with the love you give to others to receive consistency from those who love you.

    — Rania Naim, You Have To Be The One You're Looking For Before You Find Them

    Love and RelationshipsLoveLove And DatingDatingRelationshipsSelf-improvement

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    We’re told that love conquers all, but in truth love alone does not make for a good and healthy relationship.

    — Sabrina Alexis, Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts

    Lovelasting loveinspirationRelationshipsDatingAdviceromancemarriage & adult relationshipsMarriageFitnessdiet

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    You will never be satisfied in your relationship unless you learn to truly love yourself. If you don't genuinely love yourself, you will never fully trust that anyone else can love you.

    — Sabrina Alexis and Eric Charles, 10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men: Understand His Mind And Capture His Heart

    DatingRelationshipsLove

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    Happiness isn't owed to you, and it doesn't come from your relationship. You create your own sense of happiness and fulfillment.

    — Sabrina Alexis and Eric Charles, 10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men: Understand His Mind And Capture His Heart

    DatingGuy AdviceRelationship Advice

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    No relationship will ever   make   you whole, happy, or fulfilled. That’s the little-known fact about relationships that no one likes to talk about because it’s not as romantic as the idea of someone else coming into the picture and filling your life with sunshine and rainbows. The   truth   is that you need to come into a relationship already happy, fulfilled, and whole, and then allow that to spill into the relationship.

    — Sabrina Alexis, Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts

    Dating AdviceGuy AdviceRelationship Advice

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