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Toxic Parents
(23)
You know, that's the burden of having a parent. They haven't a clue what they're doing. And every mistake they make chips away at us. As we get older, we got to glue the pieces back together. And we can blame them. But here's the thing. They're human. They make mistakes.
—
Pray Tell
(Billy Porter)
,
POSE
,
Season 1
:
Mother's Day
Parents
Having Bad Parents
Toxic Parents
We're All Just Humans
Trying Our Best
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To be a child of snobs deserves its own taxonomy, treatment and pathway to health. Part of this involves overcoming anger towards one’s carers – and realising that snobs are not evil, merely wounded.
—
Alain de Botton
,
The Children of Snobs
How To Think
Empathy
Toxic Parents
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I love the way she survived. Survival looked good on her. There were no dark marks under her eyes. Maybe deep inside, but I liked the way she looked through them and laughed at life. She did it gracefully. She’d walk over glass and through fire, but still smiled. And honestly, I’m not interested in people who haven’t yet had their heart ripped out, or know what it feels like to lose everything.
—
J Raymond
,
Survival Quotes
Toxic Parents
Toxic Relationships
Toxic Half
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I often wonder why I carry all this guilt When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more
—
Christina Aguilera
,
I'm Okay
Toxic Parents
Abuse
Toxic Relationships
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It's not your fault.
—
Robin Williams
,
Good Will Hunting
Child Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Toxic Parents
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Unfortunately, because emotional abuse is often tolerated or because the abusive parents are very secretive in their abuse (hiding their true selves when in public), emotionally abused children will assume that how they were treated at home was natural. They have no frame of reference. And so, the child will develop a skewed sense of what a healthy relationship is.
—
Veronica Jarski
,
For Adult Survivors of Emotional Child Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Toxic Parents
Toxic Relationships
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Some scars don't hurt. Some scars are numb. Some scars rid you of the capacity to feel anything ever again.
—
Joyce Rachelle
,
All the Lines: Poems
Toxic Parents
Toxic
Abuse
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The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self
—
Nathaniel Branden
,
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field
Toxic Parents
Relationships
Toxic
Abuse
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Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love. Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked and she learns to ignore her feelings. She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion, arousal. So she short-circuits them and goes numb. For many children, any expression of feelings, even a single tear, is cause for more severe abuse. Again, the only recourse is to shut down. Feelings go underground.
—
Laura Davis
,
Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child
Toxic Parents
Abuse
Relationships
Toxic Half
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Many toxic parents compare one sibling unfavorably with another to make the target child feel that he's not doing enough to gain parental affection. This motivates the child to do whatever the parents want in order to regain their favor. This divide-and-conquer technique is often unleashed against children who become a little too independent, threatening the balance of the family system.
—
Susan Forward
,
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Parents
Toxic
Abuse
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You have had such a deep hunger for real human contact for such a long time that when it is offered, you consume it ravenously. Such clinging and highly dependent behavior eventually forces the other person to reject you, and you take this as further proof that you are unlovable.
—
Steven Farmer
,
Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused
Toxic Parents
Toxic Relationships
Toxic
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You isolate yourself to keep others from finding out about your abusive past.
—
Steven Farmer
,
Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused
Toxic Parents
Letting Go
Moving On
Acceptance
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Fighting became a way of life and seemed perfectly normal for your family.
—
Steven Farmer
,
Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused
Toxic Parents
Relationships
Toxic Half
Toxic
Parents
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There was little respect in your family for your personal belongings, either, which are an extension of our personal boundaries. Our parents may have sold, thrown out, or given away without your knowledge or consent things that belonged to you. This lack of respect left you with an unstable sense of identity, an uncertainty about where to draw the line between yourself and others.
—
Steven Farmer
,
Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused
Toxic Parents
Abusive Parents
Toxic
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Adult children of toxic parents have an especially difficult time with their anger because they grew up in families where emotional expression was discouraged. Anger was something only parents had the privilege of displaying.
—
Susan Forward
and
Craig Buck
,
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Parents
Toxic
Parents
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You must let go of the responsibility for the painful events of your childhood and put it where it belongs.
—
Susan Forward
and
Craig Buck
,
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Parents
Toxic Relationships
Toxic
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You are an adult and can withstand your discomfort for the purpose of becoming your own person.
—
Susan Forward
and
Craig Buck
,
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Relationships
Toxic Parents
Toxic
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As long as you continue to react so strongly to them, you give them the power to upset you, which allows them to control you.
—
Susan Forward
and
Craig Buck
,
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Parents
Toxic Relationship
Parent Relationships
Abuse
Share
The truth is, if we rebel in reaction to our parents, we are being controlled just as surely as if we submit.
—
Susan Forward
and
Craig Buck
,
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Parents
Abuse
Relationships
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Direct control usually involves intimidation and is frequently humiliating. Your feelings and needs must be subordinated to those of your parents. You are dragged into a bottomless pit of ultimatums. Your opinion is worthless; your needs and desires are irrelevant. The imbalance of power is tremendous.
—
Susan Forward
and
Craig Buck
,
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Parents
Abusive Parents
Tough Relationships
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You may find that you cannot get validation from your mother, but that you can give it to yourself.
—
Abigail Trent
,
Eileen Huxley
,
Lizzie Duarth
,
Tina Ejiofor
,
Annelise Burlett
and
Paisley: 6 Daughters of Toxic Parents Offer Crucial Insight for Your Self-Healing
,
Narcissistic Mothers (and Their Loveless Baggage): 6 Daughters of Toxic Parents Offer Crucial Insight for Your Self-Healing
Toxic Parents
Narcissistic
Abuse
Emotional Abuse
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Remember isolation and degradation are the keys to keeping someone submissive and dependent. Even
—
Abigail Trent
,
Eileen Huxley
,
Lizzie Duarth
,
Tina Ejiofor
,
Annelise Burlett
and
Paisley: 6 Daughters of Toxic Parents Offer Crucial Insight for Your Self-Healing
,
Narcissistic Mothers (and Their Loveless Baggage): 6 Daughters of Toxic Parents Offer Crucial Insight for Your Self-Healing
Toxic Parents
Parents
Fighting With Parents
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First, you cannot change your mother. She is continuing to be who she chooses to be. It is HER decision. You are not the reason for her behavior and you have no bearing on the choices she is making. You are not in any way influencing her choices nor are you responsible for them. You need to believe that and accept it. I understand it is contrary to what you probably have been told and led to believe your entire life, but the truth is the truth. These are her decisions.
—
Abigail Trent
,
Eileen Huxley
,
Lizzie Duarth
,
Tina Ejiofor
,
Annelise Burlett
and
Paisley: 6 Daughters of Toxic Parents Offer Crucial Insight for Your Self-Healing
,
Narcissistic Mothers (and Their Loveless Baggage): 6 Daughters of Toxic Parents Offer Crucial Insight for Your Self-Healing
Toxic Parents
Toxic Mothers
Parents
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