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The Facts of Life Quotes

“Blair Warner: [reading Natalie's diary aloud in astonishment] 'Blair Warner is an egotistical, selfish, air-brained witch'.

Jo Polniaczek: That Natalie, she calls 'em like she sees 'em.”
— Blair Warner, The Facts of Life, Season 3: Mind Your Own Business
Tagged: Diary, insults, Bitch, Egotistical
“Natalie Green: Don't call me a geek!

Tootie Ramsey: I'll call you anything I want!”
— Tootie Ramsey, The Facts of Life, Season 3: The Four Musketeers
Tagged: geek, insults, Assertiveness
“If everybody killed themself because of a divorce, half the country would be wiped out.”
— Joanne Jo Polniaczek, The Facts of Life, Season 2: Breaking Point
Tagged: Divorce, Suicide
“Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: Blair, why are you so happy?

Blair Warner: I'm getting a divorce!”
— Blair Warner, The Facts of Life, Season 3: Sweet Sorrow
Tagged: Happy, Divorce
“Edna Garrett: Alright, girls. What's all the shouting about?

Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Could you tell Mrs. Onassis here to stay out of my way? With her face creams and cologne bottles and hair sprays, I tell ya, I walk in here sometimes and I think I'm in a drugstore. I look around for the checkout stand.

Blair Warner: She should talk. It's not easy sleeping next to Mr. Goodwrench.”
— Blair Warner, The Facts of Life, Season 2: The New Girl
Tagged: Mr. Goodwrench, Jackie Onassis, Snobs, insults, Class Struggle
“Tootie Ramsey: In case you haven't noticed, I'm black.

Jo Polniaczek: You're kidding.

Blair Warner: We thought you were Suzanne Somers.”
— Tootie Ramsey, The Facts of Life, Season 2: The New Girl
Tagged: Black, noticing, suzanne somers, racial awareness
“Life's a bummer. You wake up and you got a mom. The next day you're on your own.”
— Joanne Jo Polniaczek, The Facts of Life, Season 3: A Baby in the House
Tagged: Life, bummer, on your own
“I haven't been this upset since the price of gold went down.”
— Blair Warner, The Facts of Life, Season 2: Double Standard
Tagged: upset, price of gold, Snobs, Materialistic
“Eat your heart out! And don't forget to put ketchup on it.”
— Joanne Jo Polniaczek, The Facts of Life, Season 2: Double Standard
Tagged: Revenge, Spite, Ketchup, eat your heart out
“I always wanted to know what it was like to be a blonde.”
— Tootie Ramsey, The Facts of Life, Season 1: Overachieving
Tagged: blonde, black girls
“Blair Warner: [insulting Jo's clothes] She must think we're into nostalgia, she's still wearing flared jeans.

Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Uh, in a minute you're gonna be wearing flared teeth!”
— Joanne Jo Polniaczek, The Facts of Life, Season 2: The New Girl
Tagged: insults, Nostalgia, Threats
“Blair Warner: My mother's made a date with her latest conquest, Justin Branch. He's a married man! I never want to hear 'like mother, like daughter' again.

Edna Garrett: Oh, but Blair, your mother and Mr. Branch are old friends. They're having an innocent reunion.

Blair Warner: I've lost three fathers because of 'innocent' little reunions like this. I wonder how many husbands I'll go through.”
— Blair Warner, The Facts of Life, Season 1: Like Mother, Like Daughter
Tagged: Reunions, Affairs, Men, husbands
“Cindy Webster: [all the girls are discussing dieting] How about you, Nat? Are you gonna try to be pencil thin?

Natalie Green: Who wants to be a skinny pencil? I'd rather be a happy Magic Marker!”
— Natalie Green, The Facts of Life, Season 1: Dieting
Tagged: Dieting, pencil thin, Anorexia
“Cindy Webster: [All the girls begin heading up the stairs to teach Cindy how to dance] Sue Ann, thanks a lot for nominating me for Harvest Queen. I love you.

Sue Ann Weaver: [Cindy hugs Sue Ann for a few seconds] Come on.

Blair Warner: [Sue Ann heads up the stairs, Cindy goes to follow her but Blair stops her] Cindy, what's wrong with you?

Cindy Webster: What do you mean?

Blair Warner: All this touching, and hugging girls, and 'I love you'? Boy, are you strange.

Cindy Webster: I didn't mean anything.

Blair Warner: I'll just bet. You better think about what you mean. [Blair shakes her head in disgust as she goes past Cindy to head up the stairs]”
— Blair Warner, The Facts of Life, Season 1: Rough Housing
Tagged: harvest queen, touchy feely, strange
“Cindy Webster: [Cindy gets out a long rope and gets Nancy and Blair to follow her into the center of the room] Come on you guys, it's tug-of-war practice time. We got to get on the ball before we get our brains knocked in.

Blair Warner: Listen, slugger, some of us want to talk about the dance.

Cindy Webster: [Cindy gets down on one knee and attempts to tie one end of the rope around Blair's left ankle] Now come on. You just plant your foot right here...

Blair Warner: [Blair lightly slaps Cindy's hand away from her and steps back a bit] Would you mind not pawing at me? You are strange.”
— Blair Warner, The Facts of Life, Season 1: Rough Housing
Tagged: tug of war, practice, strange, pawing, Dancing
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