At the time I was hanging out with her, I did not know about her drug habit. I knew her drinking was out of control. Well, Christmas Eve came around. I was at their house, hanging out, and decided to spend the night there, because the roads were too slippery to drive on safely (sleet and snow) and I wasn't going to risk a wreck.
I wake up the next morning: her husband is sitting on the couch. I ask what's going on. He says the slut ran off again. Said he'd only stuck around because he knew she was incapable of caring for their son, but this was the last straw, abandoning the two year old on Christmas eve.
Fast forward six years later: we are married, still in love, he has sole legal and physical custody of his son, I have sole legal and physical custody of my daughters. We make six figures now (we were dead broke back then), own a farm, and live fifteen hundred miles away from our ex spouses.
Both ex's have multiple drug and alcohol charges now, jail time, etc....so they proved their character. Life is good. We started in a weird situation, but damn it worked out really well. He is the love of my life. And why am I posting this here? Because when we got together, our spouses thought they were going to be getting back with us. We had to curb their crazy and sneak around until we got our ducks in a row.”
I met someone online through a gaming forum and we hit it off instantly. We became best friends, and talked daily (while husband was at work so it was behind his back). After a year of chatting via Skype and text I decided to go meet up with him.
It was love at first sight, called my husband and told him I was leaving him, it happened that fast. It's been almost 6 years and no regrets, we are still very much in love and I love my new life. Ex husband and I became friends through the divorce process oddly enough and we still talk now. I feel we are better as friends than we were husband and wife, unfortunately we had to get married and divorced to figure that out.”
The emotional toll is something you cannot fully express. A bad situation like that never has any chance of working out. The person was better off as a friend but in a situation like that you can never be friends like that.”
We always prided ourselves on being a very trustworthy couple and it was all a complete lie on her part, but I loved her. I understand people make mistakes. So I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to tell me and she started spewing things from her mouth that only Satan would do. So horrible I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour, sobbing and dry heaving at how horrible of a person I'd loved.
She is married now to a man and he has no idea. I never told anyone but I'm not sure there's anything that can legally be done. I don't have any contact with her nor do I Facebook stalk her, but sometimes someone will send me a pic or post. She apparently is getting her dream job and has the best marriage. They got married after only 2 months of dating right out of a 8 yr relationship. I feel so bad for the dude.
I'm not sure what she is saying is true because she's a liar and I know that she'd never let anyone know if her relationship sucked. Nobody even knew we'd broken up until months after, that's how private we were. Every time I see how supposedly great her life is I think about how I could ruin it all, but I don't. I just really want Karma to rear its ugly head.
As for me, I am amazing. I met a wonderful, intelligent, passionate woman almost two years ago. I honestly didn't know relationships could be this great. I sometimes can't believe I wasted so much time on the wrong person, but my girlfriend tells me it was fate just so I could meet her. I've never been so sure about a person in my 29 years of life and I'm (secretly) looking to propose over Thanksgiving. She's about to graduate in Dec so I think it'll be a nice little holiday surprise.
The best part though is that I also took the dog and cat from my previous relationship. So I get a great woman and two cute af animals.
How the hell could I not be happy!?”
We're still together eleven years later and we absolutely sicken other people with how mushy we are. We are still best friends and straight up stupid for each other.
To be fair, the previous relationship wasn't working out anyway. We hadn't been in love for a while and it was going to end in divorce it was just a question of when. I don't regret for one minute the time I've spent with my current husband. I'm the most infatuated I've ever been in my whole life and every day I wake up I'm happy I get to wake up next to him. I'm also shocked that it's been eleven years. It's felt like only a moment.”
My children, in time, moved in with their mom because she lived in a small town up in the mountains, and they liked the atmosphere up there. My STBX had a boyfriend, but was abusive and she dumped him. She's now seeing someone else, I think, or at least trying to. Oh, she mentioned that she might have some kind of bone cancer something. I don't know.
Me? I moved back in with my parents with my dogs because I couldn't afford to live on my own. It's great now. I have a goal to save money for myself and the divorce proceedings, paying off debt, and I'm looking forward to go back to school. I contribute at home and help my parents whenever they command. LOL
I miss taking care of someone, but I realize that it's much more than that. The lesson I learned is that you have to find that someone that understands that "commitment" means that, and not to just give up. I really don't think that I'm going to get together with a woman again. I'm going to take care of myself and my family first before that happens.”
It came to a head when my mother asked me one day when I was going to leave her because I was way too young to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I had a friendship with another lady that was much more compatible, and once I was separated we began a romantic relationship.
I have been married to the new lady for just over a year now and I am happier than I have ever been. Nowadays my new wife and I travel with my ex-wife to our daughters sporting events (my new wife has a daughter the same age) and we are friends. Looking back it was the best thing I could have ever done, we are all happier now than we were.”
The moral of the story is, marry the right person the first time. I realized it was the wrong thing, even before the wedding, but I was reluctant to break it off, because of all of the upset and turmoil it would cause. Dumb thinking.”
It was the best decision of my life, my only regret is not leaving her sooner.”
I met a man who I had a connection with, he was also in a 10 year relationship with kids. Almost 3 years later and So far it's working out. We get along, have common interests, and laugh 99% of the time. I can actually have an adult conservation and learn from him. Even if it doesn't work out in the long run, staying in that marriage would of been a lot worse.”
I remember one day thinking that if I could just consider her my roommate or friend instead of my wife I could just suffer through it (for the sake of our kid, etc). I cried myself to sleep that night...
So anyways, awhile later, me and a co-worker (15 years younger than me) went to a conference together. We had some drinks and some flirting but nothing happened until about a year later when we got put on a project together and started texting more. Ended up developing feelings over time and then several months later we spontaneously/unexpectedly kissed and it escalated from there.
To make it worse, she was engaged to be married about 6 months from then. About three months into our (physical) relationship, we had to make some tough decisions because we both felt we had both fallen in love with each other over the last year or so before we had even started anything physical.
She broke off her engagement (she had been with him 8 years) and I started the painful divorce process, all the while second guessing myself that I was throwing away my now 18 year marriage to a person I had been with for 25....well over half my life. But I had to come to terms that I wasn't happy and had to accept that even if things didn't work out with the new girlfriend, that I would be happier alone than staying in the marriage.
Once I accepted that and got over the fear of being alone, it was easier. I was then doing it for myself, not for the other woman. Plus I knew it was a new relationship (red alert), she was 15 years younger (red alert) and it was starting out as an affair (red alert). Not much of a chance it would work out.
I moved out about 1.5 years ago and divorce was finalized in November. My girlfriend and I moved in together this past July and things are going great. We've been together for almost 2.5 years at this point and have been talking marriage.”
No oral sex two positions and I was not allowed to touch her vagina. Our pastor had assured us that there was no such thing as sexual incompatibility! She refused to go to counseling and she refused to go the doctor to see why sex was usually painful for her. (Tilted uterus plus likely vaginissimus) I stayed because I didn't want to disrupt my children's childhood.
She became even more religious while I became much less religious. My new job had me away from home for weeks and months for years. I ended up cheating. It was wrong and I regret that. But I did meet a wonderful woman who was in the exact same situation.
She is incredible. Super sexy, cute, hardworking, Keeps the house spotless and is a great cook. And best of all she thinks I am amazing both in and out of the bedroom! I got so so lucky! The divorce was not fun, I regret the cheating and won't do that again. And my children refuse to talk with me and are unaware of my ex's contribution to the marriage breakdown But it was so worth it. I am so much happier now! Been together for 5 years and it has been wonderful.”
Knowing I'd want to see her again, I confessed to my wife and moved out, ultimately divorcing. Over the next two years I learned that:
1) Long distance relationships don't work,
2) The "one that got away" got away for a reason.
It was all a big mistake, but none of it can be fixed. I date others, but miss my wife and marriage every day.”
He invited me in, we started talking about rock and metal music and all the live concerts he'd seen in his youth, had lots of laughs, we really clicked. Hours later we wound up on the floor of his lounge room in-front of the fire. It was honestly the best night ever...felt like a real wild woman.
Rode home the next day to tell my fiance it was off. Wasn't easy as I knew he'd want revenge and to possibly physically harm me. Long story short I moved in with my much older lover, we had a great time, lived comfortably for about 6 months...he told me he had aggressive stomach cancer.
It was the end of the line for him only 1 month after he found out. He passed away in hospital.
Was it all worth it? Absolutely! Had a short time together but enjoyed every day with him, and I'm glad I was able to put some spark back into the rest of his life he had left.”
We had our daughter a couple of years later, when we were both at college and went on to university, so stuff was intense and hard work. A few months after I had began dating him I met one of his friends and felt an instant connection, a kind of "Jesus, I've never felt like this before" connection. Put it to the back of my mind but had on/off discussions with this person over the following few years about how we felt (turned out the connection was mutual). I felt like I had been emotionally unfaithful by having these conversations and attempting to pursue a friendship, which sucks just as bad as being physically unfaithful and I have learned to accept that.
When my daughter was two I reached a point of thinking, "Am I delaying the inevitable"? I've had these feelings for years, they don't seem to be going away even through periods of absolutely zero contact with the person, even when investing all my energy into making my relationship work. Is it better to leave now whilst my daughter is young enough not to have any memories of me and her father together, or leave when she's older and risk fucking her up completely.
The person I had these feelings for had always said "focus on your family" and never tried to push me into any decisions, but would be honest about his own feelings (and how much they were fucking him up too I guess). So I came clean and told my husband that I was unhappy because of these feelings that I couldn't overcome and I felt like staying in the marriage would be denying him the opportunity to find someone who is 100% devoted to him. I felt like I was wasting his time. I should reiterate that my husband (soon to be ex) is a really good person, he has loads of positive qualities and is a fantastic father too. I respect him and I want him to have all the happiness he deserves, he deserved more than what I was able to give him. We were living like good friends, after my daughter's conception we were no longer intimate (he went pretty much two years without sex). That isn't the way a successful relationship should be.
He took it really well, I think he knew deep down all along. We had had conversations throughout the relationship about this other person and our friendship, so it wasn't a surprise to him. We manage to completely share our daughter equally and even when things have been rough we've managed to put her needs first. We are amicable, mainly for the sake of our child. Me and my now S/O live together and it's as I expected, which is really well. He gets on great with my child and she adores him, though the boundaries are clear in that she doesn't need a second dad or step-father figure, her real dad is brilliant so we would never enforce that.
My ex has found someone else too, she seems lovely. I've become a better partner because of this too, I'm better at communicating (which was a massive issue in my marriage) and have a complete honesty policy. If I have an issue, I don't just bottle it up and hope it will go away of its own accord. I spend more time thinking about decisions rather than just acting on impulse. I'm not sure if that is down to learning from the previous relationship, or just generally growing up a bit.
With hindsight, I shouldn't have rushed into my marriage so young, I should definitely have been more open and honest at the time, when me and husband were dating before letting it get to the point it did. That was really shitty of me, I guess I just thought I needed to ride it out, that the feelings would disappear over time if I just buried them really deep. Obviously, continuing sporadic contact with the person was never going to aid that, so again that is something I have accepted was not the right way to go about things. At the same time though, I don't really regret anything because I have a beautiful daughter out of my previous relationship, and my husband and I did have some really good times.
Feelings cannot be helped but it is the way in which we deal with them that counts. I should have dealt with them better. There are no excuses for that, being a dumb teenager doesn't excuse it, being a coward doesn't excuse it. On the whole, the situation was a lot less messy than I thought it would be. I'm lucky in a lot of ways. It does feel rubbish knowing that I left my husband for another man, it isn't a nice label to have and the negative things that happened because of it (losing friends, disappointing family) are probably well deserved. I have to own that, but I don't want it to define me.”
First, it sped up a divorce that was going to happen regardless. Because our decision to separate was quick, there was no time for us to make the poor decision to have kids at that time. She and I are still friendly when we see each other. It was a great decision, No matter the circumstance.
Second, the relationship I left for has had many ups and downs. This relationship started 5 years ago and is still going on today. While we have gone through hell for each other — it has taken a lot of time to get to a place where we can truly be a strong couple. We both needed to unwind from our own lives and be on our own for a time. We did not expect it to be so hard, but now that we are in a strong place, it has been so worth it.”
She was a friend I was fooling around with, and when I moved out, it didn't stop. It developed into a relationship a few months later and here we are a year and a half later. She's moved in and we're quite happy. I guess I made the right choice.
Regrets and lessons to be learned: Be more upfront about wanting to leave and make it clear there's nothing to be saved in the marriage. She held onto hope we could get therapy and work through it, but I was already checked out.”
He had a lot of issues, the worst ones being his alcohol problem which he would never admit, and his propensity for thinking his way was the only way. Oh, and his insane need to hold onto a house that sucked us dry and was literally falling apart rather than sell at a loss and start over so we could afford things like, you know, FURNITURE. Yeah.
My current husband and I rent and are WAY more comfortable, should be ready to buy something decent in a year or two with a solid down payment, pretty sure the ex is in the exact same financial position though, completely through his own stubbornness and stupidity. No thank you!”
My ex wife was a manipulative, abusive, controlling bitch, she cheated on me multiple times. I thought i had a kid with her but i actually don't, and it has been proven that he is not mine through DNA testing, but since I lived in Texas at the time and Texas Attorney General doesn't give a shit about the dad I am still stuck paying child support for him, which in the end is fine, I still see him as my son.
My ex wife used to control everything I did, she blocked any channel that might have nudity, websites as well. If we were out in public she would scold me openly for even looking in the general direction of an attractive female. If we watched a movie with nudity she would cover my eyes and berate me afterwards for wanting to fuck someone else.
My current wife, is very loving we communicate very well, we have our own hobbies and interest outside of ourselves and family, doesn't give a shit about porn or nudity in general, she doesn't care if I look as long as I don't touch. She doesn't berate me in public or private, she makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. She doesn't cheat on me. She is honestly the best thing that ever happened to me.”