Relaxation is key. Unlike men who can have sex and reach orgasm anywhere, any time, any place, under any conditions, women are wired differently. If you aren't relaxed and detached from the stresses of the day, your chances of achieving orgasm are significantly decreased. Therefore, determine what calms you -- be it candles, a hot bath, deep breathing or a glass of wine -- and then commit to getting in that relaxed zone before attempting to reach that coveted 'O.'