“'Mr. Mackey is gay.' OK, kids, that's not funny, m'kay! This box is supposed to be used for serious questions, about serious issues, m'kay? Let's stop the tomfoolery. M'kay, let's look at a real one here. 'Dear Mr. Mackey, you are gay.' All right, all right, that is enough, kids! Let's quiet down and try to be mature, m'kay! Here we go, m'kay. 'Mr. Mackey, sometimes my parents hit me...and you are gay.' Dammit is there not one serious question in here?! [quietly going through notes] 'Mr. Mackey's gay...' 'Mr. Mackey's gay...' Okay, here: 'I am a boy at South Park Elementary. Sometimes when I'm sitting in class, my penis becomes hard for no reason. What should I do?'”

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