Had a roommate come back to our dorm room from one of the many rush week frat parties he attended, wasted out of his mind. He stripped down to his stained white briefs and passed out on his bed.
In the middle of the night, I woke up to find him standing, totally nude, inches from my bed, his ass literally right in my face. He proceeded to fart in my face and then start pissing in the trash can next to my bed.
After he was done pissing in the trash can, and all over the floor, he promptly went back to his bed and passed out on his bed, face up, with no covers.
I got up, got a bottle of Febreeze, and sprayed the hell out of my trash can and the rug. I then realized why he pissed in my trash can. It's because he had puked in his. So, I sprayed his trash can too.
Then, for good measure and because I was pissed, I spent about 30 seconds spraying his naked dick and balls with Febreeze while he snored and drooled.
Yeah...I hated that douchebag.