“Had a roommate come back to our dorm room from one of the many rush week frat parties he attended, wasted out of his mind. He stripped down to his stained white briefs and passed out on his bed.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to find him standing, totally nude, inches from my bed, his ass literally right in my face. He proceeded to fart in my face and then start pissing in the trash can next to my bed.

After he was done pissing in the trash can, and all over the floor, he promptly went back to his bed and passed out on his bed, face up, with no covers.

I got up, got a bottle of Febreeze, and sprayed the hell out of my trash can and the rug. I then realized why he pissed in my trash can. It's because he had puked in his. So, I sprayed his trash can too.

Then, for good measure and because I was pissed, I spent about 30 seconds spraying his naked dick and balls with Febreeze while he snored and drooled.

Yeah...I hated that douchebag.”

Explore more quotes:


About the author

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.