Alcoholic parents are so confusing, they're your parents, so you love them. But they're drunks, so you hate them. But you love them, but you hate them. They have moments when they're still the people you grew up idolizing. They have moments when you can't imagine they were anything but monsters. And then, after a while they're monsters full time. The people they used to be has enormous power over you. But the people they've turned into has no power over you at all.