Alice Kramden: Now you listen to me, Ralph. My mother is coming here and you're going to be nice to her.

Ralph Kramden: Be nice to her? That's impossible! We don't get along. We're enemies, natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose. She hates me, Alice!

Alice Kramden: Ralph, Mother doesn't hate you, that's your imagination.

Ralph Kramden: My imagination? I suppose it was my imagination the day we were married and she went around telling that joke about me!

Alice Kramden: What joke?

Ralph Kramden: You remember, you remember the joke she went around tellin' everyone about me!

Alice Kramden: No I don't remember, what joke?

Ralph Kramden: Oh, yes, you do. She ran around the reception tellin' everybody 'I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton.'”

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