“In Grace’s account, she told Ansari “Let’s relax for a moment, let’s chill,” when she says he went for a condom too early for her comfort. While it may not have been the “absolutely not” or “fuck no” that tweeters the world over seem to scold Grace for not emitting, in millennial parlance, “let’s relax, let’s chill” is absolutely a verbal direction for Ansari to slow down. That he did not, and that Grace says she felt pressured to go along with it, exposes cracks in the modern dating contract; even if Ansari were not a famous man, the fact that Grace perceived him to possess enough power that she felt coerced is a statement about the ways women are conditioned, even with decades of entrenched feminism, to concede to that perceived power.”

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