First, you cannot change your mother. She is continuing to be who she chooses to be. It is HER decision. You are not the reason for her behavior and you have no bearing on the choices she is making. You are not in any way influencing her choices nor are you responsible for them. You need to believe that and accept it. I understand it is contrary to what you probably have been told and led to believe your entire life, but the truth is the truth. These are her decisions.